Bad News About Ina Or Bad Reporting?

I really didn't want to write about any of this Ina-gate scandal, because, at the beginning, I had no clue if it was true or not or HOW true any of it was. Apparently, the Make A Wish Foundation reached out to Ina (or her people) to ask if she would cook with a sick little boy, who loved to watch her show. The story that was making the rounds is that she coldly refused, because she was too busy promoting her book.

The story started appearing in many different places and loads of negative comments towards the Contessa followed. Then her people supposedly confirmed that she WAS too busy. I don’t for a second believe that Ina cruelly and heartlessly said NO! to this little boy.

Either the message was never actually delivered to Ina herself or, equally likely, she WAS completely, totally booked with prearranged (probably well in advance) events and there was no callous spurning of an ill child.

One of my great blogging buddies has been reaching out to Ina for a while to ask permission to post one of her recipes and he's never heard back. (I love him for refusing to post anyone else’s recipes without permission.) I’m thinking it may be just a case of not knowing the right channels to go through to get to Ina directly or to whoever needs to make that call.

This story has resulted in a surprising amount of bad publicity for my favorite Food Network star and I think it’s entirely unwarranted. No one can do everything that is asked and, for all we know, Ina already met her quota of cooking with sick kids this year. That sounds harsh, but, really, the thing I want to know is who leaked the story and why. It can’t be in the Make A Wish Foundation’s best interest to have people publicly pilloried when not all wishes can come true. It is a wonderful organization and I can’t believe it was them.

What I really don't like is people saying, Oh I never liked her anyway and this proves it. THIS PROVES NOTHING, except that we shouldn't take as fact any old thing that's printed. 

The good news? Ina is now going to meet with the child, although I hate the idea (for both parties) that she was pushed into it. And the latest version of her pr debacle is that Ina only heard about all this brouhaha a few days ago, which is exactly what I suspected all along. 

Top Chef Finalists On The Today Show

If tonight’s Top Chef-All Stars finale is anything like Richard’s And Mike’s appearance on the Today Show this morning, we’re in for some pretty dreary viewing.

In their defense, the two chefs had only about 5 minutes to assemble their own versions of a springtime lasagna.  Matt and Meredith were supposed to taste both and then declare a winner, EXCEPT that they initially refused to say whose they liked better because they thought that wasn’t nice. 

After being kind of wishy-washy, Matt finally went with Richard and Meredith liked Mike’s. Savannah Guthrie played the Wolfgang Puck role from last week and broke the tie – It was Richard by (the opposite of) a landslide. He was put over the top by one casual taster, who had a split second to decide. I wonder if tonight’s verdict will feel as rushed.   

Top Chef All-Stars - The Envelope Please And For Mike, Blood Is Only Thicker Than Water When It’s Convenient

Top Chef All-Stars Last Supper

The finale of Top Chef All Stars is tomorrow. Gosh, it feels as if we’ve been watching this season for ages!

The three remaining chefs, Antonia, Mike and Richard have to pick through a season of Quickfire horrors to decide what their last Quickfire dish will be. Because Mike won the last Elimination Challenge, he gets to choose first.

He picks Antonia to cook a dish only from canned foods. Antonia picks Richard to make a dish from hot dogs and hot dog accoutrements. And Richard, for some reason, gives Mike a one pot challenge, which is the easiest of the lot.

As they’re cooking, Padma comes in and throws a wrench in the works. They each will have one horrible thing added to the way they can cook their dish. It shakes out like this – Mike can use no utensils or tools; Richard can only use one hand; and Antonia has Carla tied to her and each of them can use only one hand. Mike is the least affected, since his dish was mostly finished.

Padma and Wolfgang Puck, the guest judge, come back to taste. Wolfgang says Antonia’s coconut curry soup has strong flavors, but good balance.

Richard in his usual over-achieving way, made a curried wurst AND bread AND ketchup. Wolfgang looks at it and says he could feed it to his kids. Richard looks crushed, but actually he meant it in a good way.

Mike’s braised pork shoulder with black beans is a bit tough, but again Wolfgang likes the balance. And Mike is the winner. He gets $5000 from Terlato Wines.

They move on to the Cloisters. For a minute I thought I missed the part where they went back to New York, and they went to the Cloisters in the Bronx. No, not exactly.

THESE Cloisters are at the “one and only” Ocean Club. The Bronx Cloisters are impressive with gorgeous views of the George Washington Bridge and the Hudson River, but the Cloisters in the Bahamas are breathtaking.

Speaking of the Bronx, check this out and stay out of the way of any stray cobras! 

There they are met by Morimoto, Wolfgang Puck and Michelle Bernstein. The chefs’ Elimination Challenge is to create a last supper for these chefs based on their favorite foods. Mike as the Quickfire winner AGAIN gets to choose who gets whom. He chooses Morimoto for Antonia. Of course, he does. Here’s where their cousinhood means nothing (I’m not saying it should) and he probably is assuring her elimination.

He chooses Michelle Bernstein for himself and Richard gets Wolfgang. Mike says (to us) that he wants to compete in the finals against the best and he thinks Richard is the best.

It’s not that I think that Mike and Richard are so much better than Antonia, but Morimoto’s dish is obviously going to be the hardest, because it’s Japanese and much more alien to them.

Before the chefs confer, Padma says there’s one more “final surprise” in the envelope that she’s holding, which won’t be revealed until the next night. 

Wolfgang tells Richard he would want his last meal to be goulash, spätzle and apple strudel. Michelle wants fried chicken, biscuits and gravy. Whoo-hoo, how tough! NOT! And Morimoto tells Antonia that he wants rice, which has to picked through grain by grain, miso soup, pickles and sashimi. Good luck to her! She has one huge problem when the hamachi she was about to use is slimy and rancid. That’s not good. Wisely, she substitutes tuna.

Here are the dishes. They are tasted by the usual crew of judges - Tom, Gail and Padma. Plus these latest three chefs - Michelle Bernstein, Wolfgang and Morimoto – are there. AND Padma introduces Melanie Dunea, who wrote “The Last Supper”, where she interviewed FIFTY chefs about their last suppers.

Morimoto likes Antonia’s rice which was really the hardest element, but thinks her miso is salty. Tom says most Japanese food is very subtle, but hers is really highly spiced…TOO highly spiced.

Michelle is super happy with Mike’s reinterpretation of chicken and gravy. Instead of the biscuit he did an empanada. Morimoto says his white meat is dry. Tom doesn’t understand why he sous-vided the chicken first and THEN battered and fried it, because the batter kind of fell off.

Richard’s apple strudel came out amazingly well and Wolfgang says even his mother would have approved of this meal.

At the end of the meal, after much give and take between all the diners, the three chefs are told that Judges’ Table is taking place there and then. Michelle tells Mike that except for the chicken not being completely juicy and the breading falling off a bit, the dish would have been perfect. (Aren’t those kind of major things?)

Wolfgang says Richard got the flavors so right on, although the spätzle was tough.

Morimoto tells Antonia that her miso soup was salty, but that her food was very interesting.

Tom almost immediately says Richard will be cooking in the finale. Then Padma tells Antonia and Mike that only one of them will be moving on. And she asks them if they remember the envelope. Oy, what now? There are still more than 15 minutes left.

Padma hands the envelope to Antonia to open. She reads a card that says there is one more challenge left. Then Tom says they have 45 minutes to go back into the kitchen and make the judges one bite. The winner will move on to the final.

Not that I don’t think that’s an okay challenge, but I hate how they have these marathons of cooking, where the chefs give it their all, only to have to cook more. Then it becomes as much a physical challenge as a mental and skill-based one.

Mike’s dish was a well-prepared Caribbean lobster and beef tartare little taste. Antonia’s was a well-spiced, super flavorful grouper in a coconut lobster broth.

They go around the table, saying which dish they prefer. (The chefs aren't there.) 3 of them prefer Mike’s and 3 of them prefer Antonia’s with Wolfgang yet to speak.

Wolfgang says that he’d still be thinking of Antonia’s dish the next day, while Mike’s dish was technically prepared perfectly. We're left hanging during a commercial. And who wins? Mike. They can justify it somewhat, but Mike definitely didn’t walk away with it.

So in the end, the producers got exactly who they wanted in the finale and Richard finally gets the chance to redeem himself (in HIS eyes) and take the big prize. But will he? I’m not sure, because Mike is certainly on a roll and will do anything to win.

America's Next Great Restaurant Cranks Up The Action And Makes Me Crankier Than Ever

I thought Bobby sounded kind of schoolmarmish last week when he ran through last week’s results and said Fran was eliminated because of “her stubborn nature”.

He had just finished talking about how truly dreadful the other folks’ food was and how they had no clear vision for their restaurants. Then he said Fran got booted because she wouldn’t listen to the investors. “It was Fran’s stubborn nature that ended her dream,” he explained.

I think they should have given Fran another chance and Tater Tot Couple should have been kicked off faster than you can hydrate a potato flake. AND Stir Fry Gal, who didn’t stir fry? She’s a bit of a ninny. Oh well.

You know what I’d really love to see? I’d love to see Bobby ask them to list the 5 Sauces Mère (mother sauces). Béchamel, Velouté, Espagnole or Brown Sauce, Hollandaise and Tomato. (This is the usual agreed-upon list.) Or what is the only pastry which is cooked twice? Choux, first on top of the stove, secondly in the oven. I know that’s another show, but I can dream. 

The other thing that bothers me is that a lot of these restaurant ideas are SO ho-hum. To ME, the first requirement of starting something new is that it be exciting. You have to WANT to go there to be a part of something new and neat and a little different. XIE-XIE, Angelo’s fusion-y sandwich shop is exciting.  His sandwiches are completely delicious and they have a different spin to them. 

Pinkberry, which I have had mixed feelings about in the past, is definitely exciting. What’s cooler than being able to pick a bunch of fun things to heap into your yogurt? That’s why all those do-it-yourself yogurt places are so successful. You can come up with all kinds of crazy combinations yourself. (Of course, it’s not so fun when you find you’ve helped yourself to $17 dollars worth of frozen yogurt and probably 2000 calories, but never mind about that…) 

That’s what I liked about Fran. Her wrap place sounded fun and different. This Stir Fry idea? Not so much. Diet Lawyer Gal? Booorrrinnng. Jerky Wing Guy probably has good food, but he acts like he should just buy a Hooters and be done with it. And sappy sweet Grilled Cheese Guy? Ugh.

The folks meet up at Chipotle. Steve Els explains that their concept is “Food with Integrity”. His father’s original investment of $85,000 has turned into a company worth 4 billion dollars.

This week, the folks have to work the lunchtime crowd at Chipotle. Each one will be in charge of a station. The obnoxious wings guy, not Jamawn, but Alex, says that should be no problem, since he runs a restaurant already and that’s what he does.

Stephenie is overwhelmed by the challenge. Isn’t this what she signed up for??? Isn’t she trying to open her own restaurant? Actually three of them?!! So if THIS is overwhelming…maybe she should go back to the more low-key environment of Harvard Law School.

Steve wants to see leadership as the investors sit back and observe how the contestants do. Basically everyone fails miserably. Good girl, Stephenie, does step up to do a lot of grunt work, but Jamawn yells like a football coach, which doesn’t impress Steve.

Steve is getting increasingly anxious with how badly things are going. He takes over and assembles the food and serves the customers. But REALLY, what exactly did they expect? These would-be restaurateurs had moments to prepare. They were basically set up to fail, so, of course, they were incompetent. Two of them think it’s acceptable to serve Bobby Flay Tater Tots! Believe me, your eleven year old could have done a better job on the line than these folks.

Steve was particularly unimpressed that Marisa was heating tortillas using AN UNPLUGGED-IN TORTILLA WARMER. He grabs the tortilla from her and tosses it in the garbage and says that demonstrates bad judgment. YA THINK?!! She wanted a stir fry restaurant and still hasn’t stir-fried anything and doesn’t have the slightest idea how to do it. I’m surprised she’s gotten this far and can think and speak at the same time. Oh wait, scratch that.

Back at the business center, Steve goes through all the things they did wrong, which was basically everything. Bobby tells Stephenie she could work for him anytime. I have no clue why. He didn’t tell Jamawn not to yell or Marisa to not be a putz.

Bobby moves on to the names of their restaurants. He says Eric can keep Meltworks and, unbelievably, Joey’s Saucy Balls is okay too, because the crowd last week liked those names. Really? 

Everyone else is in for some name revamping. They have to come up with a new slogan and a dish to match it. Then they’ll serve it to 100 people. Jamawn is giving up his wings and waffles concept. DARN! And now he’s going with Soul-Daddy’s, which actually IS a good name and his dishes do sound good. But I wanted some Chicken and Waffles in these here parts.

They tell Marisa she should think about getting rid of her chef. She demurs. They tell Sudhir that he should think about getting rid of his chef. He agrees in one second flat.

Bobby doesn’t like Compleat as the name of Stephenie’s restaurant. She tells us that everyone wanted Steve Els to change the name of Chipotle and he refused, so she’s sticking to her guns. It doesn’t matter what she calls it, it sounds dreadful. 

Sudhir decides to be his own chef and use his new professional chef as his sous-chef.

Greg and Krystal go from the name Hick to Grill Babies, because Bobby told them they should GRILL their food instead of BARBECUE it, because it’s faster. If he told them to serve Lucky Charms, would they do that too?  Marisa is asking every single person what he or she thinks of her food. Not as good sign.

Okay, this is funny. Bobby and Steve come in to make some pronouncement or other as the contestants are cooking. Then Steve points to the back of the room and says, in totally monotone-d voice, “Fire.” It’s Marisa’s chef’s wok – the one she wouldn’t get rid of.

Next is the mini food fair, where the contestants all have their new names and new slogan’s. Some blowhard advertising guy tells the Limbo lady that he really likes her new name of Sinners & Saints – Food for your mood.

Tiffinbox guy, Sudhir, has unhappily changed his name to Spice Coast, Modern Indian – “Eat flavorfully”). I liked Tiffinbox, and it was good way to educate people about what one is. He made an absolutely fantastic sounding grilled samosa with a mango and avocado relish. He had me at samosa. Bobby is worried that because Sudhir has had many other businesses that he may just palm this off, if they give it to him. Sudhir says he turned down a lucrative job offer to do this.

Marisa changed her name to CHAO - The art of the stir fry. I have no idea what that name means. Oh, is she doing an Asian take on “CHOW”, as in grub or food? I guess that must be it. Curtis’s problem is that SHE’S NOT STIR FRYING HER FOOD…AGAIN. Plus it’s not good. Before, I had pangs about calling her a ninny. Now I don’t.

Fusion Taco Alex changed his name to Revolution Tacos with Explore, discover, indulge as the slogan. Ehhh! He serves Curtis and Steve an Asian Pork Wonton Taco. Curtis tells Alex, “I don’t like it.” Curtis tells US, “His tacos are disgusting.” Steve: “It’s mushy.” Alex likes that it melts in his mouth (like an old sponge).

Saint and Sinner lady is serving a Bacon Cheddar Meatloaf OR a Turkey Meatloaf. WHO is going to order the turkey meatloaf??! Lorena says the food is a five out of ten, but she finally understands her idea. This is insane! Who gives a restaurant to someone who doesn’t have FABULOUS food?!!

Jamawn’s Soul Daddy - Cookin with heart and soul (I don’t approve of the lack of an apostrophe after cookin) is serving collard greens with smoked turkey, loaded cornbread and grits. Curtis says the food makes him feel cozy.

Listen to this name and slogan – Meltworks - artisanal ingredients endless possibilities. GMAB! Eric made a black forest ham, gruyere and Jarlsberg grilled cheese with a bunch of crap (apple compote???) inside. Bobby says get rid of the crap (I’m paraphrasing) and serve it with a bunch of dipping sauces. Eric says, “That’s what I was thinking.” You were? Then why didn’t you do it??! What a poser! Another blowhard ad guy says he was disappointed by the fancy schmancy grilled cheese. Go back to selling Tide and how do those guys manage that one day old stubble? And why do they think it looks cool? Do you think this show is making me a bit cranky?

Tater Tots folks are calling themselves Grill Billies – Urban Grill with Southern Attitude. Be the sauce”. OMG! How dumb! Gosh, I dislike them. They have NO point of view. They change like the wind and they seem to have no idea of why they’re there. WHY are they there?

Fran, at least, knew what she wanted. These people are losers, although the female Grill Billie is quite stunning and reminds me of the gal from Sugarland. Steve tells them to get rid of the Be the Sauce part of their slogan. Finally, Girl Grill Billie actually explains the concept nicely - She wants to make southern dishes with a California twist. Why didn’t she just say that? They make a spice rubbed skirt steak with slaw and crispy jalapeno. Steve and Curtis like their dish, but when they ask questions about how they’d go about certain things, the Grill Billies get really confused and answer every which way. Curtis actually tells them he doesn’t think they know what they’re talking about. OY! Get the hook! They turn to their chef afterwards for consolation, who says they should get their stories straight.

For some reason, Joey made turkey meatballs with gorgonzola. Grandma would probably turn over in her grave if she knew Saucy Balls was serving turkey. His Saucy Balls slogan is “Italian Home cooking fresh and fast”. Whatever. That’s neither here nor there; Bobby says it’s not a ground-breaking slogan.

Stephenie is next with Compleat “Flavor you can count on”. She is obsessed with counting calories. She boringly describes her idea to one of the ad guys as serving healthy food, while keeping in mind portion control. Sexeee. Ad guy says he understands it’s healthy, but he doesn’t get a sense that there’s anything delicious here…from her slogan - conscious modern fresh. Bobby and Lorena say she’s not going far enough with both the food and the description of it.

Back to the “business center”, the concept that got the most silver coins from the diners is Soul Daddy.

The investors call in Stephenie first. Bobby tells her to stop looking in her book to count calories. He doesn’t care about that. Concentrate on making healthy, delicious food and the calories will take care of themselves, he’s basically saying. That’s a 180 degree difference from her initial concept of categorizing everything by calorie count. Bobby can’t live with the name of her restaurant. Lorena says she’s missing the soul.  

Next up to defend their concept is Krystal and Greg. OH, THIS IS FUNNY! Bobby asks them what their concept is. And she has memorized a stock phrase so she doesn’t get confused and doesn’t confuse them. “We want to grill a variety of meats as well as serve shared dishes of southern-inspired food.” Think Hal, the robot, as you read that.  Curtis asks them a question and they still can’t answer what dishes they would actually serve. Bobby says he thinks it’s over (for them).

Oh gosh, Marisa is next. Just send them ALL home. Whatever, she’s a moron. Bobby kind of wants to keep her. Curtis doesn’t. They discuss and actually they all give good reasons to send each one home. I want them all to go home, but I hope it’s the grill folks. 

And going home is…Marisa. Steve says (to us) that she probably doesn’t have the judgment necessary to run a restaurant. The others do?

This show is growing on me. Why, I wonder? I guess I must need an outlet for negativity and criticism. There is just so much to object to, so many folks who are so clueless that you just have to wonder…how did they make it this far??! 

It’s A Boy!

Tom Colicchio and wife, Lori Silverbush, 

had their second child together today (March 22nd). 

Mateo Lev weighed 7.9 lbs 

and joins brother Luka Bodhi, who will be two in August. 

(Yup, two baby boys under 2 years old in the house!) 

Tom also has a third son, 17 year old Dante, from a previous relationship.

Congratulations!!!

Top Chef All Stars - Beached and Battered

Top Chef All-Stars Island Sun

Still in the Bahamas, the four remaining chefs get up early to head to the next challenge. Richard is wearing the strangest hat I’ve ever seen. It’s a woolen knit cap with a visor and it’s purple! Plus there’s something white sticking out of it, which looks weird. A label? A bandage? Maybe it’s a secret drawing of a recipe that’s he’s trying to keep hidden from Mike.

        

The chefs get to the kitchen of the Bahamian Club at the Atlantis and there’s Padma with Lorena (It’s all about the love) Garcia, the judge from America’s Next Great Restaurant. (Shall we simply call her Lorena IAATL?)

Padma tells the chefs that the Quickfire is about consistency and precision. “A great chef makes (a) dish exactly the same EVERY time,” she says. The chefs nod.

In teams of two (so that makes 2 teams), they have to make 100 identical servings of their dish and Padma and Lorena (IAATL) Garcia will pick random plates and then compare them for consistency. Shouldn’t the chefs’ dishes be consistent anyway… without making such a big deal of it? And how will they choose ONE winner? Oh, the winning team splits $5000. They have one hour. THAT would be the major roadblock to me.

Mike says the guys are the favored ones. Obviously, they’ll lose.

Mike is making pasta. Richard is making a Bolognese. The gals are making a beef salad. Just setting out 100 plates takes a LONG time.

Richard patronizingly describes the other team’s dish as “slice and serve”. The guys are SO losing.

Padma and Lorena (IAATL) come back into the kitchen and pick 2 numbered plates from each team.

Padma says their dishes look consistent. This is slightly dumb.

Lorena (IAATL) asks how the guys portioned their dishes. WAIT FOR MIKE’S ANSWER. IT’S A GOOD ONE! He says…HE SAYS (this is important) that they portioned the pasta and sauce with…READY?!!...A SERVING SPOON!!! The guys look like they’re holding back smirks. I, however, don’t have to hold back mine.

What the hooey difference does it make HOW they served the friggin’ thing? If they had been making cookies, then, yes, an ice cream scoop, for example, is a good thing to use to get uniform-sized cookies. But the fact that they used a simple spoon - and Lorena (IAATL) acts as if, yes, that was exactly the right tool to use - is laughable!!!

They move on to Antonia and Tiffany. (I’d bet MY serving spoon that they will be the winners.) Padma says, “These PLATES seem to look very similar…which is good.” Yes, I would say that’s good, since that’s what the challenge was! Is it me or is this sounding really inane?

Obviously, no matter how many dishes a chef is making, they should look the same. They’re acting as if this is a novel concept.

Lorena likes that the slices of meat are the same size. Well, if they weren’t, the plates wouldn’t look alike, would they?

Mike remarks to us that he could have done the gals’ dish by himself, while he sent Richard to the store for a six-pack. And the winners are…Tiffany and Antonia.  Duh! Winning! (Sorry, that was just pure and simple pandering.) The guys are mad.

They are going off on a boat to an island for their Elimination Challenge, which is to create a lunch menu to celebrate the 80th anniversary of the Nassau Yacht Club. (Yawn.)

The theme, Padma says, is deserted island. Richard immediately thinks of Lord of the Flies and that maybe they will have to catch a wild boar and kill it. Lorena Love (I shortened it) says they must incorporate conch into their dishes. Mike tells us he practiced with conch before he came out to the Bahamas and that it’s very difficult to work with. Richard says he has 20 pounds of conch in his freezer. (Boy, will he be unhappy to come home to THAT if he loses Top Chef!)

Next we see Padma in a bikini (with a translucent wrap), that they’ve been promo-ing all over the place. They leave for the island, not knowing anything about the kind of equipment they’re going to have.

Mike is trying to stay “Cool, calm and collective.” He is the least collective person there. When they get off the boat, they have to jump into four feet of water and run to the beach to open the boxes that are lying there. There are various ingredients and in the box labeled conch are snorkels and flippers. They realize they have to catch their own. Tiffany has never snorkeled before. I admit I would have given up.

I can’t see if they’ve been given spears or GUNS or nets. Antonia is catching hers in a net. The others have nets, as well. Tiffany can’t figure out how to use the snorkel so she goes freestyle. They all manage to catch some. That is amazing.

They have no electricity, no gadgets, and no liquid nitrogen, Richard says. This whole thing would be fun if they were off for a day on a deserted island and if $200,000 weren't riding on it. They have wood grills. They have to bang the conch shells open. Again, this would be great on a normal day. Mike puts the conch in their shells in boiling water for a second to loosen them up.

THIS is what I hate. They’ve spent all this time risking life and limb to CATCH the things, and THEN they have to shell them. Tiffany whoops it up when she pulls ONE conch out of the shell.

Padma and the judges arrive with the Yacht Club hotsy totsies. There follows a fascinating discussion about the reign of the Yacht Club King…or Commodore in sailing parlance.

This is shaping up to be every bit as illuminating as last week’s elimination challenge, which is to say, not compelling at all. The setting is spectacular, but the convo at the table is dim.

Okay, this is weird. Richard is plating up; he’s ready to go. And like a soldier bidding farewell to his family before going off to war, he says. “Mikey, I love you. Antonia, I love you.” EXCUUUSSSE ME, what about Tiffany? She HAS to be there. They’re on the same tiny stretch of beach on a deserted island. It’s just strange. Tiffany IS in the background.

Padma introduces Richard to the Commodore, his wife and “ALL their friends” she says. There are 8 people there, besides the judges. Two of them are the Commodore and his wife. That leaves 6. Hmm. This is all so odd. If they start talking about stamp collecting (no offence to any philatelists), I’m turning this off. That’s how riveting this is.

Lorena Love (LL) thinks Richard’s conch is undercooked. One of the Commodore’s (few) friends says they eat it that way in the islands and that it’s good, byatch! I’m just trying to liven things up.

The King of Commodores likes the mushroom with the conch. Poor Tom is confused and thinks he’s actually eating pasta, when it’s really ribbons of sweet potato. LL also thinks it’s pasta. Padma and Gail are in the know and realize it’s sweet potato. Whew! I’m glad that’s settled.

Oh wow, one of the friends is a sailfish champion. I’m not sure if that means he’s a sailor or a fisherman, but congrats! It’s getting windy and the clouds are darkening. That’s not good.

Antonia is next with her seared snapper and conch ceviche. The Bahamians turn out to be spice devils and LOVE her highly seasoned food. Tom, though, is not impressed with how small the conch is cut. He says you don’t know it’s really conch. And he adds, grumpily, that his fish is overcooked. He points to his neighbor and says his looks UNDERcooked. I think Antonia MAY be cooked too.

Tiffany is serving coconut chowder. The folks can’t figure out if it’s supposed to be hot or not. It’s not Tiffany’s fault that the fire couldn’t get really hot and the weather turned suddenly.  Oy, now I think it’s going to be her going home.

Gail is chatting up the sailor fish guy. Sorry, sailfish guy. Oh, I think a sailfish IS a boating apparatus of some kind.

Mike is next with his banana leaf-wrapped grouper. There’s one Englishman at the table who is very knowledgeable. He feels the fish is overwhelmed by the pineapple. Tom is grumpy (again) about the addition of butter. He just doesn’t understand why Mike would add BUTTER.

Gail likes his dish, referring to him as Michael numerous times. She’s trying to sound a bit yacht-clubbish. I think it would be funny to be there with all those stiffs and tawk Brooklynese and really play that up. Stiff or not, I’m sure they’re all perfectly nice.

Padma thanks them again for “allowing them to celebrate” with them. Oy! As soon as the cameras leave, the yachtsters will probably bring out the Goombay Smashes and get started limboing on the beach before they skinny dip with the conches.

Alright, I think it will be Tiffany. And how can there be EIGHTEEN minutes left? Oh, because they have some nonsense with the chefs figuring out who would be whom from Gilligan’s Island. Mike is the skipper (big and fat); Richard is the professor (smart); Tiffany is Ginger (no reason) and Antonia is Marianne. (Again, no reason).

Oh, we have so much time left because of the Top Chef Masters commercial, which seems to be more about the judges (including James Oseland) and host (snazzily coiffed Curtis Stone) than the actual chefs.

At Judges Table, Tom says they all did a great job. LL liked Antonia’s dish, but Tom didn’t like how small the conch was cut. Padma didn’t like the conventionality of it.

They move on to Richard. Tom cops to not knowing that it was sweet potato. Good for him.

Tiffany liked her own dish and so did LL. But Gail wanted it to be hot. Tiffany says it was when she was plating, but it got really windy. That’s so not fair. Tom thought it was a bit sweet.

On to Mike and Tom says butter doesn’t come into play in Caribbean flavors.

The chefs leave; the judges discuss. They come back in and Mike is the winner. Who’s going home? And it’s...Tiffany. Boohoo. I think Padma actually choked up as she told her to get out of there. That’s a shame. Tiffany did a good job. I think they all did amazing jobs, considering they were being asked to be Diver Dan’s instead of Top Chefs.

This episode bugged me. I didn’t want to see chefs diving into the water and risking harm and misfortune, catching wildlife in the ocean. What if they couldn’t swim? What if they wore contacts or glasses and couldn’t see? What if they got stung by a jelly fish or chomped on by a shark? This is SO unnecessary. Are we watching Top Chef of the Rugged Outdoors?

And this whole nonsense of not having proper equipment to cook with is so irritating. What exactly is this a test of? It’s NOT a test of the skills needed for putting fantastic food on a plate in a restaurant. That is ALL I require of a chef.

I want them to have all the equipment they need. In fact, I want them to have every piece of equipment they can dream of. And with that, I want them to have fabulous, fresh ingredients that they actually know how to work with. And it’s perfectly okay with me if the only test a chef goes through is to cook the same thing a million times perfectly. There’s your consistency and it needn’t involve flippers and a net.  

I Don’t Think America’s Next Great Restaurant Is Going To Come From “America’s Next Great Restaurant”

But They Mean Well.

I'm not sure I’m particularly in tune with what Bobby, Curtis, Chipotle guy and Lorena (it’s all about the love) Garcia are looking for in America’s Next Great Restaurant.

Last week, Fran was my absolute favorite with her Sports Wrap. I liked everything about her idea and I liked HER. I thought she should skip all this pesky competition stuff and just go straight to the win. Well, that's how much I know. SHE was the very first one kicked off at the end of this episode.

AND boring Greg, who was the absolute opposite of my favorite, WON by collecting the most number of silver coins at a giant food fest, signifying he was the diners’ overall favorite. 

Another least favorite of mine, Stephenie, did well this week too, showing again just how bad I am at predicting winners and losers. Plus if she mentions one more time that she went to Harvard Law School just because she was expected to, I’ll scream. Either shut up about it or go be a lawyer and tell someone who cares. Maybe this is her mother.

The episode did have a bit of drama. The contestants were allowed to pick their own chefs from a whole room of them after chatting for a bit to see who suited whom. There was a bit of pull and push between several competitors, who wanted the same chef. They decided to leave it up to the chefs to choose, which was darn nice of them, but turned out to be darn stupid for Fran. She and Taco Boy (TB) wanted the same chef. TB recognized the chef from a Gordon Ramsey restaurant and sweet-talked her and he got her.

Anyway, the whole chef thing was so random. The Indian guy had to make do with a Scandinavian chef. The only one who was smart about was it was Saucy Balls guy, who yelled into the room, “Who’s passionate about Italian food and loves Goodfellas?"  Basically, "Who knows how to handle Grandma’s balls?” or words to that effect. He ended up with a different chef anyway, but luckily his food turned out well, so the chef obviously knew how to bust out a delicious set of balls.

But wasn’t this a strange way to arrange things? Shouldn’t the chef of an operation be chosen with a little more thought and background than leaving it to a speed dating situation to determine? Go figure.

The folks also got to work with graphic designers. That was weird too. In general, it was more like they were hiring plumbers than experts in logo design.

Their challenge this week was to serve 1000 people (EACH, I think) at Universal Citywalk.

Now here’s something else nonsensical. These folks were supposed to be serving the food that represents their restaurant concept. But for this event, the chicken and waffles guy made gumbo. The stir fry person made a poorly cooked rice dish. The gal and guy team who wanted to serve wonderful Southern cooking on little plates made a TATER TOT CASSEROLE! Not kidding. It didn’t look much better than this one. Completely appalling. THEY should have gone home…just for using the words tater tots.  

Fran went home because her chef was a dunce and precooked all the chicken in advance and it was dried out. Oh, and she completely disregarded anything that the judges had to say, so they didn’t feel she was very teachable. But there hasn’t been much more than platitudes and catchphrases being offered by the “investors”, which matches the lackluster and, in some cases, really poorly conceived food.

But when the tater tot gal tried to explain away her atrocious food with “we mean well”, all I could wonder was what on earth are these people doing here. How can you have a great idea for a restaurant and not be able to make one single dish that illustrates what you’re going to serve? Strange, very strange.

Top Chef All Stars Are In the Bahamas and Certifiable

This post is even later than usual because of a horrible week with a burned-out computer. I am NOT going to complain, though, but just say remember the Red Cross and all their efforts in Japan.

Welcome to my office hours. Clearly I’m not a Scientologist, because I believe that ALL the contestants on Top Chef could do with a little sit-down (or in Richard’s case a LIE-down) with a good shrink to work out their many issues. These have been prominently on display in the Top Chef kitchen and have seriously impacted each chef’s performance…for good and bad.

I’m dispensing with the blow-by-blow (mostly) for this week’s post. One reason is to talk about the psychological problems of these wacky chefs, but the other reason is because I found this episode to be a completely lackluster and rather dispiriting hour of television and not worth my time (but especially yours) to describe it in detail. They (not the chefs, but the producers AND the judges) seemed to devote SO LITTLE ENERGY to the actual challenges that I’m not going to dignify them by reporting on them minute by minute.

Take the Quickfire. (Please.) Each chef had to cook against the chef that won his or her season. It was so glossed over that I felt sorry that the chefs had to waste their (and our) energy thinking about it, much less DOING it. They were in an old ruin and they were told to cook a protein that Tom had picked. Again with the cooking in a dodgy environment with dicey sanitation.

The long-awaited return (if only by his immediate family) of Hosea amounted to almost nothing, but, in this case, it actually wasn’t his fault. He did say that this was an opportunity to prove to “the haters” that he deserved to win Top Chef.  But the whole challenge was so rushed and so irrelevant that we didn’t even CARE who won.

I had thought there would be an elimination in the Quickfire, which would have added a little vim to the situation, but, no. Each group cooked and one person in each group won $10,000. Then the former winners left and the current contestants stayed. Kind of dumb.

BTW, Tiffany beat Kevin; Hosea did beat Carla, but not because of anything HE did. Carla’s rice was completely undercooked; Richard beat Stephanie and Stephanie beat Antonia. (Richard actually allowed himself to enjoy the win. Good step in the right direction.) And Mike beat Mike Voltaggio. That was pretty big. And all the more pointless for Mike (V.) to have gone there.

But let’s move on to the psychological assessment of the chefs.

Carla described herself as someone “who gave her power away” in HER season of Top Chef, so this time she was super-conscious of cooking her own food, her own way. She had success in different challenges with this new attitude, but it’s worrying that she talks about this season being about Redemption. That says to me that if she doesn’t win, in HER mind she wasn’t redeemed and was, in fact, a failure.

I find it fascinating that the chefs don’t view the situation as simply their DISHES being failures. Instead they look at THEMSELVES as failures if their dishes fail. What’s that old saying? – You can hate the act, without hating the actor, so can’t a chef have a bad dish without being a bad chef?

Richard has been showing doubts from the beginning. He’s a minefield of psychological torment. He tells us at the beginning of the episode that he’s not only worried about losing another round of Top Chef, but also about missing the birth of his daughter, Embryo Gingerroot, Embry Lotus.

Right before the judges taste his food in the Elimination Challenge, Richard says, “It’s disgusting.” Tiffany asks who he’s talking to and he says himself. She says he should talk to someone. I take that as meaning a mental health professional, but she probably just means one of them.

Richard says later his dish might be awful in many different ways. Then in their (Bahamian) stew room, he says, “I hate everything I do.” He repeats that TO THE JUDGES, looking for their reassurance. He seems to have so little self esteem for whatever reason, which manifests itself as crushing doubt in everything he does. Obviously his food is an extension of that. That’s why he pushes and pushes himself for the need to prove that he’s not unworthy. That’s a heavy burden to carry with EVERY dish that he cooks.

Plus how can Richard win, if ALL he thinks about is losing? Hasn’t he ever read The Secret? Hasn’t he ever studied the law of attraction? Also, as we saw in the Ellis Island episode, he was so cowed by the opinion of his wife that it’s easy for him to become frozen by self-doubt and blow the whole thing. All of this in spite of his superior technical skills.

There must have been a female figure somewhere in his life that held great sway over him as he was developing emotionally. Someone needs to tell him it’s about HIM now. It’s all on HIS shoulders, win or lose, triumph or burn. It shouldn’t matter about pleasing people in his past (or present), who probably cannot be pleased all that easily. He needs to be able to rely on himself. Of course, this is probably all hooey, but I see the same patterns in Richard over and over and they seemed pretty clear in this episode.

My spin about Mike is that this Top Chef season for him has been about discovering family. At about the same time that he came to grips with the long-ago loss of his grandmother, he found out that Antonia was a distant cousin. Interesting. He had been avoiding cooking his grandmother’s Italian cuisine his entire career. By embracing it, he won a challenge AND began to appreciate his and Antonia’s common heritage. It was actually sweet (which is not a word you think of with Mike) that his feelings for Antonia instantly changed (and HERS for him) the minute he found out they were related.

Talking about Antonia, clearly she projects an image of strength and capability. She’s a single mother who really wants to be a great example to her daughter. But she seemed most affected when she learned about her MALE relatives at Ellis Island. She was impressed by how they came to America to make better lives for their families.

And it was interesting that in that challenge, she pretended to be a mid-century housewife preparing a meal to please her husband and the father of the family. Clearly, that’s NOT who she is at the moment, but that ideal seems to hold great sway for her.

Who am I missing? Oh, Tiffany. Actually, there’s not much grist for the mill in analyzing her. She’s straightforward and seems well-adjusted and basically wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s not conflicted and tortured about anything.  She does call herself an underdog, but she doesn’t really cook like it.

A few other observations about what went on in this episode:

The chefs were told that their Elimination Challenge would be a meal for Bahamian royalty. I don’t know which is dumber – that the chefs thought there WAS a King of the Bahamas or that the producers thought they could pull that off! (Obviously, they did.)

Eric Ripert, one of the guest judges, poured it on when he told the chefs that it was an honor that they were being included in such a prestigious event. Not ONE chef thought to say, what the hey are you talking about??! There IS no royalty in the Bahamas!!!

The chefs KNEW they were going to the Bahamas. You would have thought they would do a bit of reading up on the fact that it became fully independent in 1973. (It used to be a British colony and is still a member of the Commonwealth.) Did they really think Queen Elizabeth would come strolling in to participate in a Top Chef challenge or that Kate and Will would stop by? Dumb, dumb, dumb!

The most noteworthy king in the Bahamas is usually found under a limbo pole – Action, The Limbo King is his name.

So after the chefs spend a day planning a fancy schmancy meal for “royalty”, it turns out they’re cooking for the Bahamian equivalent of the Mummers.  Percy “Vola” Francis, the King of Junkanoo, is a jovial guy and very regal in his bearing, but you get the feeling it’s not a palace that he’s going home to. He explains that Junkanoo is “a celebration of life in the Bahamas” like Carnival or Mardi Gras. The chefs find out they’re cooking for all the gaily-garbed celebrants in a little tiny local restaurant.

Antonia actually says that this was not the king and queen she was expecting. WHICH KING AND QUEEN WAS SHE EXPECTING??! I really want to know.

Chaos ensues when the kitchen (and restaurant) has to be evacuated when a fire breaks out in a fryer. The kitchen is cleaned up and Tom tells the chefs that they will be cooking ALL over again and serving later that night. I’m getting the same cooking-till-you-drop feeling that happened at Target.

The thing that bothered me most about his episode, though, was what happened when the chefs served their food. The King, in half regalia, arrived in the restaurant with Tom, Gail, Eric and Padma. They ALL squeezed into a booth with very little elbow room. It was hot, they were sweaty, it was probably 2 in the morning or later and there was just no energy in the room. That’s kind of ironic, because these dancing folks were in the most beautiful, brilliantly colored feathered costumes. That’s another thing., NO WAY would they go out and eat in their costumes. Dumb again.

Eric is SQUISHED in the corner, Gail is melting between Tom and Eric and the King says he likes sweet food (unlike the judges, in the case of Carla’s dish). The only one who looks relaxed and cool is Padma. The other judges are a bit short as they say what they don’t like about all the dishes. I just hate the setting. I hate the WAY they’re doing the tasting. The conversation is stilted and I just want them to get out of there.

So what happens? Mike wins and Richard is the second one who’s safe, Who goes home? Carla. It could have been Tiffany or Carla, and I wish it hadn’t been Carla. But by the end, they didn’t make me care about any of them. I just wanted all of them to go home, fight off dehydration and get some sleep.  That’s what I intend to do. 

It's hard to think about anything else except those poor people in Japan. The scope of the disaster is just unbelievable. And it seems as if things are going to get a lot worse before they get even a little better. The Red Cross is always my first stop when donating for relief efforts. Even $10 goes a long way and it's easy to do by text. Along with that, we just have to keep hoping that more people will be discovered and saved. 

If you've never looked at blogger Rachael's Tokyo Terrace, now is an interesting time to. Her tweets let her family (and followers) know that she and her husband (and doggie) were okay. Twitter is a great thing for keeping up with fast moving events. Let's hope good things start happening soon and they're enough to make a difference. 

 

Happy Blogi…well, you get the idea. Today is the 4th anniversary of my first post about Giada and her fricos. Since then I’ve written 68 more posts about her. (Actually, it’s probably more, but I don’t tag as religiously as I should.)

There have been 77 Ina posts (at least) and 42 about my favorite TV chef, Michael Chiarello. Oh, and 1 Twinkie post. Only? THAT’S how I know my tagging is incomplete.

I’ve written about The Today Show 25 times. Again, it’s probably been more.

And I’ve been lucky enough to write 19 Paris posts, which doesn’t mean I’ve been there 19 times in 4 years, just that I had a lot to say when I WAS there.

The other subjects that have shown up a lot are Thanksgiving (24); The Next Food Network Star (30, yikes!); and Rachael Ray, FORTY FOUR times! How is THAT possible?

I’ve written about the Cake Boss 20 times. (I think that number is low.) AND my number one read post (if I’ve figured this out properly) was the one about the Cake Boss’s Bridezilla episode.

My top number of posts award goes to Top Chef with 106, which doesn’t even include my 10 Just Desserts posts and 4 (so far)  about Top Chef All-Stars.

But no matter how many times I write THIS, I mean it from the bottom of my heart - thank you to each and every reader. I know your time is precious, which makes the deal we’ve struck even more priceless to me - I write stuff and you read it. Keep it up and so will I.

Is “America’s Next Great Restaurant” America’s Next Great Reality Show?

It certainly has some great elements in place, like the becoming Bobby Flay and the comely Curtis Stone. I’m just hoping they’re not going to spend the first few weeks showing us nothing but losers, à la early rounds of American Idol. THAT will be a big time waster.

I will also not be interested if someone wants to start a franchise serving 20 variations of cream of something soup on Minute rice, (even if I DID grow up on that, actually BECAUSE I grew up on that). 

Bobby introduces the show by telling us that in 1952 Harlan Sanders drove "across America, selling his revolutionary chicken frying equipment. Today KFC pulls in 7 billion dollars a year.” Gosh, think of all the health care costs for unhealthy Americans that could have been saved if the colonel had gone bust in the early years. In 1965, Subway is started. And in 1993, Steve Ells opens the first Chipotle with an $85,000 loan from his dad. Now it earns 1.5 billion dollars a year.

Bobby tells us about HIS ventures. 20 years ago he opened his first restaurant. He now has 6 high end and 5 “fast casual” burger places.

The other three judges are Steve Ells, Curtis Stone and Lorena “It’s about the love” Garcia. 

On May 1, 2011, three restaurants will open up in LA, NY and…Minneapolis. Minneapolis? Alrighty then.

This hour they’re knocking 21 of the finalists down to 10. The people have to prepare one dish from their fast casual restaurant concept and serve it to the four investors.

Bobby says the next best casual restaurant has to be affordable and feature quality ingredients. (That last thing is certainly not a requirement for success in this country.)

Joey, sent from central casting to play the cousin of Tony Soprano, intones “This is NOT a dress rehearsal”. He’s going to “bring his A game”. I sure hope we can get all the hackneyed phrases out of the way before we see their restaurant ideas.

Here are the folks, with my instant reactions to them.

I like Fran with the Sports Wrap idea. She would feature healthy sandwich wraps. She’s a former WNBA player (on the first team to win a championship ring) and she’s cool. Okay, I think she should win. We can all go home now.

Joey (from above) does life insurance and estate planning. I don’t want to be so obvious as to say that’s a curious job for a guy who looks like a hit man. Oops, I just did. He says, “My passion is to DO a restaurant.” Out. Oh, his restaurant (of course) would have meatballs.

Sarah - private chef to “A list celebrities”. Eh, who needs that? OUT!

Sudhir – His idea is a Southern Indian Chipotle. I have no idea what that means, but I bet his food is awesome.

Sandy – Short-haired (very short) lady with a DUMB idea - a restaurant called Limbo that has high calorie choices and also their not-so-caloric versions. Who wants that? Every time you go in, you have to fight with your demons??? Am I being “good” today or “bad”? I hate that almost as much as talking about “clean” (and by extension, dirty) food.

Jamawn is next from Detroit, with his Chicken and WAFFLES idea. You pass, you’re in!!! (That isn’t exactly original, especially in Los Angeles, but sign me up.) Oh, it’s chicken WINGS and waffles. Even better.

Super-tanned Jason has developed his own barbecue sauce to go with his burgers and wings. I think he said he already sells it all around the country. Whatever.

Joe has 3 restaurants in Los Angeles called Big Wang’s. Eww. I’m thinking he’s not referring to a Chinese chef. He’s looking to expand his business, he says. He tells one of the other competitors that several of them are doing wings, including “the black guy, of course” pointing at Jamawn.  Okay, then, we have one racist so far.

Chicken and Waffles Guy thinks Joe is a jerk, without even hearing that remark. Also Joe tells Joey his wife is weird for not liking wings. I like Joey better than Joe. OUT!

Joey Meatballs says Joe is over confident. We’re definitely getting the idea that the wingman is a wingnut.

This little chipmunk-voiced blond wants to open a restaurant called SOUPZ. Her inspiration comes from SOUP. She actually said that. Byuh-bye. (BTW, her day job is picking up pet doo-doo. I’m glad THAT wasn’t her inspiration.)

Lawyer Stephenie’s (that’s not MY misspelling) concept is “fixed calorie healthy fast food”. That’s sounds about as exciting as a brain scan. NEXT!

Alex wants to do something new and exciting with tacos. I LOVE IT! He had me at “fusion”. Some his ideas - a Greek Lamb Taco and a Chicken Parmesan Taco.

Marisa’s wok idea is okay, but the name is dumb. NO ONE WANTS TO GO TO A RESTAURANT CALLED "Stir Fry For The Healthy Heart"! Isn’t 99% of this common sense?

Fusion Taco guy is slightly sexist and says Marisa doesn’t belong in a kitchen. She belongs with “a car and a driver”. Just because she gave her restaurant a bad name doesn’t make her a prostitute. In fact, she’d probably have given it a sexier name if that really were her profession.

Bobby tells them and us again that this is the moment of truth. I do NOT like his pink striped tie. Curtis says food made all his dreams come true.

Private chef Sarah's Mac and Cheese Cupcake (How hackneyed is that?) is awful. Chipotle guy says it has the texture of the brown bag it was served in. Bobby says simply that the cupcake is not good. Chipotle guy (let’s make it Chipotle for short) says her concept has too many moving parts.

Bobby says right there and then that they will NOT be investing in her restaurant. She tells us she’ll keep fighting. She’d have to for anyone to like that cupcake.

Blond chipmunk Aimee is annoying. She serves them soup. They can’t believe how bad it is and Bobby spills some on himself. Plus they say that hot soup is not a good idea for warm weather. She hadn’t even thought of that. They deep-six her.

Fran, my number one (and almost only) pick is next. Hers is a Sports and Fitness themed restaurant “that features healthy wraps with organic ingredients.” Now we’re getting somewhere. 

Fran is great, she will definitely go on. She says as soon as you walk into the restaurant, you’ll get high-fived, there will be score boards and a basketball court. You order your sandwich and when your number comes up, “You hear applause”. Heck! I’d go there just to get clapped at! Chipotle says she’s a born leader. They also love that there’s a fitness tip with each sandwich. She is the first entry into the final ten. YES!

Eric from Nashville wants to make grilled cheese sandwiches…not just for himself, but for his wife and their future children. How sweet and sincere, and BOOORRRIIINGGG. He has all the passion of processed American cheese food slices (individually wrapped).

Eric’s restaurant would be called MeltWorks. Great, when it’s bad the headline could read MeltWorks Dissolves, or if things really get bad - MeltWorks Evaporates. Curtis isn’t sure he’d leave his house for a grilled cheese. No decision yet. They think the sandwiches may take too long to make.

Brianne is a weirdo. She unrolls and blows up something, which has NOTHING to do with Café Creativi. (Again, that’s not MY misspelling, just its strange name.) It’s a kids’ left and right brained restaurant. Don’t ask.

Sina – Persian food with his kebab slider. He admits that the American public is probably not interested in this kind of food. The judges admit that they're not interested in investing.

Nam Nam – Vietnamese.  All they had to hear was that the concept involved waiters. Not Investing.

Chic haircut gal’s idea is Pot Belly, serving lots of different pot pies, like cheeseburger pot pie or Phillie cheese steak pot pie. (You know I hate the word POT with savory pies, but I like her idea.) The investors don’t. They think it’s too caloric and heavy, plus she (whoever she is) has no idea about the nutritional content of her dish. NEXT!

Back to Brianne blowing up some plastic structure thing. Bobby says we will NOT be investing in your restaurant. Curtis asks himself, “Why am I doing this? Is this the best that America's got to offer?”

Joey comes in with his meatball idea. Unfortunately, he wants to call it Saucy Balls. Bobby laughs; Curtis grimaces. He serves them Grandma’s meatballs.  “This is the song in my heart,” Joey says. They like him. Curtis says, “I love your balls.” “Can I leave before I start crying?” Joey asks. Bobby: “Simple but well-thought out idea.” “They love my balls,” he tells the other competitors.

Krystal and Greg’s tapas style Hick’s is next. It’s southern comfort food.  The judges taste their banana cream pie with banana chips. They all like it. Chipotle likes it. Bobby wants to know what their relationship is. They say “friends”. Lorena “It’s about the love” Garcia wants to know if they’ve dated. HUH? They admit to it, but Krystal assures them that they aren’t together now, as if that would ruin their chances. (Would you be allowed to ask that on a REAL job interview?) They’re through to the final ten.

Marisa comes next with Wok, Stir Fry For The Healthy Heart. Well, at least she put the word WOK in front of her wonky name. Of course, there are probably 50,000 other places called Wok, but who's counting?

Curtis wants to know if the food will be cooked to order. She says no. NO?!! See what I mean about common sense. It’s OBVIOUSLY a terrible idea. Curtis says that won’t work. She makes it to the final 10??! She DOES have really pretty hair.

Joe, icky Joe, comes up with Lil’ Wang, which is the relaxed version of his Big Wang. Bobby says his wings have to beat everyone else’s wings. He doesn’t make it. That was kind of a big build up for a big bunch of nothing.

Waffle guy goes next with W3’s. Yum!  I do like the food says Chipotle. Bobby asks if he’d be okay if they play with his idea a bit. He’s in! Yeah!

Jason from Lenox, Mass., wants to do burgers and wings. They can’t decide about him. 

They love Sudhir’s The Tiffin Box. When they press him, he agrees to make his menu "10% to 15%" meat-based. Bobby laughs.

Alex’s Hard ‘N Soft Taco Bar is next. He has SEVENTY FIVE taco ideas, crab cake taco, hot wing taco etc. I love the idea, but the name doesn’t do it for me. He tells them the food is fusion, not Mexican. Great idea. If he simplifies the menu, they’ll agree for him to go on. He does agree.

Stephanie, I mean Stephenie, is up with her horrible Calorie Compleat idea. You order the food in certain calorie ranges. It's fine if the calories are displayed in some out of the way place, but, otherwise, forget it. Plus her poor presentation doesn’t help. Lorena “It’s about the love” Garcia likes her. ??? Chipotle too. She goes on to the final 10.

Sandy is back with Limbo, or heaven and hell combined. (I know which one reflects my opinion of her concept.) She says she would have healthy AND “devilish choices” available and you can pick. Do people really want to have crisis of conscience every time they go out to eat? That’s a dreadful idea. Curtis loves it. Really? They all like it? Oh gawd! Chipotle guy is “infectiously enthusiastic”. Those were HIS words. She’s in the top ten. I guess they need a few obvious people to get rid of.

The judges ask boring grilled cheese Eric and Jason, burger and wing guy, to have a cook-off. Eric has to make as many grilled cheese in 15 minutes as possible and Jason has to cook the best burger ever.

Eric and Jason go into the kitchen. Jason cooks and is sweating up a storm. Eww. The judges taste the burgers. Eric has made 29 grilled cheeses in 15 minutes. Curtis says the sandwich looks good.

The two get sent back to “the business center”. The judges discuss.  And they choose Eric, not Jason. Yawn. Ok, fine. I don’t really care. Jason says Bobby is scared of another burger place.

All the finalists end up on a circular set with food stalls all around them. The names of their restaurants are on each stand in lights.  Joey says he’s close to his dream. I do like him okay now, but Fran is my gal.

I also have to admit I like having finalists at the end of week one. It makes me feel like we’re moving right along. But are they picking reality stars or people with decent restaurant concepts? I would imagine the former doesn’t necessarily possess the skill set for the latter. We’ll see how things develop.