Happy 4th To The Biggest Eaters Of All Time!

Oh my goodness! What has finally gotten me back to my blog? What has inspired me to sit down at my (rotten, new, impossible-to-use Windows 8) computer? Another new barn being built by Ina? No. A shakeup at the Food Network? Nope. Decimated marriages of various Food Network stars? No, even though that has actually happened. So what has gotten me to finally post again? Well, it’s July 4th and Nathan’s Hot Dog Championship happened earlier today!

I’m not bragging when I say that I totally called it before the event even started! And I have witnesses. Moments BEFORE the legendary contest at Coney Island began, I said that I doubted whether Joey Chestnut could win his 9th consecutive hot dog title at Coney Island. I’d watched many of his previous wins. I was a reluctant fan at first, when my favorite, Kobayashi, was banned from the storied contest. But Joey earned my respect with his unbridled enthusiasm and his disciplined training regimen year after year. How did I know that this time, sad to say, his streak wouldn’t hold? 

First, he looked more pasty than usual.  

  

Also, his head many not have been in the right place. Last year, he proposed to his girlfriend and then went on to win his 8th Championship on a high note. This year, they are no longer together.

The last reason I doubted Joey was that Matt Stonie had a hungry look. And, after all, Joey only beat him last year by 5 hot dogs. 

The final results:

 

You can see it better here. Joey started to come back, but Matt beat him by 2 dogs.

 

Joey showed the heart of a champion after his loss this Independence Day. He took responsibility for the results saying, “I just had trouble. I was slow and, uh, he was eatin’ fast. I couldn’t catch him.” 

 

There’s always next time. There’s also always the World Bacon Eating Completion. (Stonie is its current champion, downing 182 strips in 5 minutes.) Oh, and there are a few other crowns to be won. Here are just SOME of the other foods waiting to be devoured in athletic eating competitions:

Pork Rolls

Chicken Spiedies (No clue what they are…)

Tacos, slugburgers(!), bratwurst, tamales, ribs, oysters, burritos, gyros, boysenberry pies, chili, shrimp cocktails, Twinkies and fish tacos

AND there are hardboiled egg contests to aspire to. Joey won the Hardboiled Egg Championship in 2013, swallowing (and keeping down) the world record amount of 141 hardboiled eggs in 8 minutes.

Joey says he’ll be back next year. I hope the competition is intense and the contest is a close one. Happy 4th to all the competitors who took on the monumental challenge of stuffing themselves with more hot dogs at one time than humans were meant to consume.  

By the way, although I do love this annual patriotic ritual, I have to be honest. I can’t watch the actual eating. I put my arm over my eyes to block the shoving of the hot dogs into their mouths. It’s so gaggable that I feel as if I’m competing myself.  

Happy 4th of July! I hope you had as many hot dogs as you could comfortably eat. For me, competitive hot dog eating is a pure spectator sport that I don’t have to participate in or even fully see to enjoy.

The Chestnut Didn't Crack

Perhaps the sporting event that's your cup of tea this holiday weekend involves green grass and white shorts. 

But I liked celebrating July 4th with a more down to earth, unequivocally AMERICAN event.
 

The skilled commentators covering this elite contest said Joey Chestnut displayed the mark of a true champion in winning his 7th consecutive Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest by downing 69 hot dogs (and more importantly in keeping them DOWN) in 10 minutes! The announcers' admiration knew no bounds as they pointed out that Joey “Jaws” Chestnut always wants to improve his performance. Isn't that the mark of every great professional athlete?

 

Oh, sorry, don't look at that picture. Look at this one where I blurred out the rather unpleasant aftermath of the contestants' vigorous chewing.

 Here, this one is far enough away that you won't lose your lunch:

 Look how festive the scene looks:

Here is the final scoreboard of the results:



They displayed the number of dogs eaten as they were being consumed. NO ONE had ever eaten this many at an official event* before. Joey broke the old record (his!) and the new world record is now 69!

Joey is triumphant. He said he was going home "to rest".

Along with parades, patriotism and fireworks, the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Contest is the perfect example of the indomitable American human spirit that triumphs on Independence Day.

                           

 *The great eating champion, Takeru Kobayashi, six-time winner of the Nathan's Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest, was again excluded from this event, because he has refused to sign the exclusive contract that Major League Eating requires of its competitors. MLE is the organization that sponsors the great eating events of the world, including the Nathan’s Hot Dog Contest, the Korea Town World Kimchi Eating Championship and the Hooters World Wing-Eating Championship.

One of the stipulations that Kobayashi objects to is that MLE gets a cut of ANY endorsement deal the “athlete” signs. Kobayashi has found a home with The Hofmann Sausage Co. and competes in separate events, which unfortunately do not have the same world class status as the MLE ones. He has eaten 69 hot dogs in an unsanctioned event, which Joey Chestnut likens to practice at home and says he's done the same thing. 

Kobayashi Breaks Joey Chestnut’s World Record - Unofficially

There’s a big postscript to my post about the latest hot dog championship.

Beleaguered pro-eater Takeru Kobayashi changed history again in a non-Major League Eating sanctioned event, where he managed to keep down SIXTY NINE hot dogs and buns. That beats Joey Chestnut’s world record of 68, as well as Chestnut’s latest result of 62 hot dogs and buns this afternoon in Coney Island.

Kobayashi, who brought world attention to tournament eating and has won the Nathan’s event 6 times, held his own event today and has been feuding with the Major League Eating organization over the “slave contracts” (Kobayashi’s words) that they have been requiring participants to sign. 

In a particular distasteful incident, Major League Eating PAINTED OVER Kobayashi’s face in a mural depicting eating tournament history. That’s pretty low.

Where today’s gustatory guerilla action will take Kobayashi, no one knows. But you have to admire a person who fights through 69 hot dogs (and buns) with no mustard-colored champion’s belt at stake, just for the pure glory of it. 

Joey Chestnut Triumphs At Hot Dog Fest While The First-Ever Women’s Competition Is Covered In A 3 Minute Wrap-Up

Happy Fourth of July! And as any fan of competitive eating knows, today is the 96th annual Nathan’s Hot Dog contest, otherwise know as "A Battle of the Ages" or "The Mount Sinai of Mastication", held in Brooklyn, New York’s Coney Island.

New this year is a women’s bracket for the famous hot dog eating competition. In a pre”game” interview, George Shea of Major League Eating called the female competitors “the Suffragettes of the Stomach”.

This is a big day in the history of gender equality. The women wanted a women’s-only competition and they got it, although many of its entrants can hold their own against the men.

But, why oh why, was coverage of the women’s event limited to a 3 minute segment? The ladies were described as the “greatest gurgitators” of the world by Espn reporter, Renee Herlocker. (What an unlikely name for a female sports reporter.) She told us of the rivalry between the great “Black Widow” of the “sport”, Sonja Thomas (all 105 pounds of her) and Juliet Lee, “Lovely Juliet Lee”.

The 9 women entrants had to eat more than 20 hot dogs to qualify.

One of the (male) anchors said the women on stage seemed “more like a Junior League meeting than Major League eating.”

What the hamburger?!@#$%@? If that’s not a smarmy downplaying of the ladies’ considerable accomplishments, I don’t know what is!

The results (as reported a half hour after the competition finished):

Juliet took the lead early on. One of the anchors remarked that she might have pulled a “Pippa” and upstaged the Princess of Coney Island, Sonja.

But it was not to be. The Black Widow triumphed, as she has so many times before, by ingesting (I don’t call what she just did “eating”) FORTY hot dogs. (She did NOT, however, break her own record of 41.) Juliet Lee and Stephanie Torres tied for second by downing 29 hot dogs AND buns each.

When asked if she was going to be hungry tonight, Sonja said, “Oh yeah! Right now I’m full of hot dogs, but I can eat something else later on.” I love her optimism!

Then on to the men’s competition, which was obviously the main event, as evidenced by the amount of coverage it got in comparison to the gals.

Here are the rules for those who unwisely want to try this home:

Competitors must eat hot dog and bun

10 minute time limit

Dunking may not exceed 5 seconds

Automatic DQ for “reversal of fortune”

There’s one more thing. A yellow card can be issued for “messy eating”. I have no clue what that means. Actually, the whole thing looks so messy that I have to admit I have to look away and just listen to the commentary. It’s way too gross to actually watch.

Oh, as far as trying this at home. Major League Eating strongly discourages that and has a special message on its website for those who might try it:

Safety is the first consideration in any sport, and MLE insists that all sanctioned competitive eating matches take place in a controlled environment with proper safety measures in place.

MLE will not sanction or promote any events that do not adhere to proper safety regulations and the league believes that speed eating is only suitable for those 18 years of age or older and only in a controlled environment with appropriate rules and with an emergency medical technician present.

MLE strongly opposes and discourages home training of any kind. MLE also strongly discourages younger individuals from eating for speed or quantity under any circumstances. MLE urges all interested parties to become involved in sanctioned events -- do not try speed eating (at) home.

Hmm, maybe if an “emergency medical technician” is needed for this event, one might rethink participating in it. But this is America, land of the greedy and home of the gluttonous (and I mean that in the best possible way), so what better place to watch Joey Chestnut defend his title?

The contest starts with lengthy video packages about the main contenders. They finally get to it and Joey Chestnut takes the win again with 62 dogs. (In 10 minutes!!!) Was it a good idea, do you think, to have a Prilosec commercial for getting rid of heartburn IMMEDIATELY following the win?

Pat Bertoletti came in second with 53 and Tim Jones followed with 45 dogs and buns. Significant achievements, certainly…

This was Joey’s 5th win of the champion’s mustard belt. Holding a bottle of Pepto Bismal (I guess Prilosec didn’t contribute the really big bucks) and his winner’s belt, Joey said the humid conditions didn’t affect him. And with a kiss of the pink bottle, we are left to wait until next year for another brush with jingoistic, gurgitating greatness.