O Emeril, Emeril! Wherefore Art Thou Emeril?*

It’s official. The Food Network's connection to Emeril Live will be confined only to afternoon repeats.

Fine Living (shown in a little more than half the Food Network’s 90 million homes) has picked it up. Starting July 7th, they will show a new Emeril Live every Monday night with repeats the other six nights, after an initial premiere week of five original episodes. It will be shown in the same time block as his corporate boss Martha Stewart’s show every weekday evening.

The big news here is that this prolongs the life of Emeril Live and leaves open the possibility of future seasons. The Scripps Network does own both the Food Network AND Fine Living. I guess they felt that Emeril's high profile would be of more benefit to Fine Living.

Good luck to everyone’s favorite Cajun chef.

*Yes, I know that doesn't really mean "Where are you Emeril?" but I couldn't resist the poetic sounding title...

Martha and Emeril Make A Sweet Deal

Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Inc. announced yesterday that it had bought the rights to much of Emeril’s food empire: his books, television shows, kitchenware, food products and his Emeril.com website.

They paid $45 million in cash and $5 million in stock, but the price could rise if certain financial goals are met. They did not acquire the portion of his company, Emeril Homebase, which is the base of operations for his restaurants and charitable foundations.

Interestingly, the Food Network didn’t see much future in his brand, but Martha did. And her Omnimedia is doing very well these days. They announced a revenue increase of 22% in their 2007 fourth quarter results.

According to Emeril, “By affiliating with a larger company with means, infrastructure and reach, we know we can maximize (our) great potential.” And here I thought the only place left for him to market himself was Mars…

Anyway, good for you, Emeril. Maybe you’ll give RR a run for her (lots of) money in striving for complete world domination.

The Food Network's Top 100 Recipes of 2007

The Food Network Newsletter arrived the other day announcing their Top 100 Recipes of 2007. It was actually interesting.

Some of their newsletters are a bit busy with SO MUCH to look at, I end up not reading anything…20 egg recipes, 50 cocktail recipes, videos, latkes, blintzes AND gingerbread houses. I prefer targeted searches for recipes, comparing like with like…

Back to THIS newletter, though...one problem is what exactly do they mean by the top 100 recipes of 2007? Is it the top downloaded recipes from the Food Network website? The top searched for? The most commented on? I guess it’s probably the most downloaded, but, why oh why, would Swiss Steak be number 13? I guess Miss Paula must have many fans. And a nice recipe, but certainly nothing earth-shattering, Easter Pie, a ricotta filled free-form baked good from Giada, is number 17.

Number One, Creamy Macaroni and Cheese, belongs to Paula Deen as does Number 100, Bobby's Goulash, plus 47 recipes in between. She is the most represented food network host by far.

Coming in second, but a mile away, is Giada with 14 recipes – ranging all the way from #12, Chicken Tetrazzini, to #85, Linguine with Shrimp and Lemon Oil.

The Food Network Kitchens supplied 10 of the top 100 recipes of the year, and poor Ina came in with 7 recipes, her highest breaking the top 20 at #18, Crunchy Noodle Salad.

Cutie Tyler followed closely with 6 recipes on the list. That ass Alton (I only say that because of the comments that he disses his heavyweight fans) had the top 2 of the top 3 recipes (in other words numbers two and three) AND numbers 41 and 95. That’s quite a spread. Emeril also had 4 recipes on the list.

Wonder of wonders, RR had only 4 recipes, but I’m putting an asterisk next to her name, because one of them was a recipe that Emeril did. Sandy wangled her way on to the top 100 with recipes 65 and 79. I guess America just couldn't live without Bat Sandwiches and Spider's Nest Dip.

Lovely Sara Moulton made the top half with recipe #42, Gruyere Potato Gratin. The last Food Network personality on the list is The Surreal Gourmet, whoever that is, with recipe #25, Beer Can Chicken.

What does this all mean? I guess that Paula has many internet savvy fans, which I'm delighted with. I’m relieved that RR was barely on the list, but also a bit baffled. I get that people search for her syndicated show’s recipes on THAT site. But if she has so many shows on the FN, then why aren’t more people looking for THOSE recipes? Of course, they’re terrible, but that doesn’t stop her from being all over the airwaves.

I am confused by the Contessa’s light showing. The only thing I can think of is that so many people have her books that they don’t bother searching for her recipes.

And, of course, the absence of my fav, Michael, can be explained by his banishment to the Siberia of the network's schedule. If you're not watching him in the early hours of Saturday am, then you're not downloading his recipes. But where are Bobby and Mario (there are still TONS of his recipes on the site)?

The stars that are front and center have the most popular recipes, I suppose. But that still doesn't explain the lack of RR on the list. Maybe the culinary fate of our country is in better hands than I thought. And just think of all the business that the heart surgeons will be getting...

The largest percentage of recipes are in the chicken category, followed closely by desserts. Beef is next with Pasta and Holiday recipes following suit. The rest are side dishes, pasta, potatoes(?)(!) – why did they need their own category? – seafood and pork. Are we to take from this that the largest percentage of Americans are eating chicken, not necessarily prepared in a health conscious way? And that we’re eating almost as much pork as seafood?

I've said it before...my favorite shows, my favorite chefs and hosts are those that TEACH ME SOMETHING. If I want to watch a travel show, I'll go to the National Geographic Channel, where I can get alligators thrown in for nothing. If I want a decorating show, there's HGTV. And if I want mindless entertainment, there's no end of channels to choose from.

This is the final tally:

Top 100 Recipes by Host
Paula 47
Giada 14
Food Network Kitchens 10
Ina 7
Tyler 6
Emeril 4
Alton 4
RR 4*
Sandy 2
Sara 1
Robin Miller 1
The Surreal Gourmet 1

Top 100 Recipes By Category Chicken 27
Desserts 20
Beef 12
Pasta 8
Holiday 8
Side dishes 8
Seafood 6
Potatoes 6
Pork 5

You would think the FN would have had an intern to do the statistical analysis, but whatever…

* Recipe number 64, Yummy Mummy, was done on Emeril Live, but it's RR's recipe.

Bobby Sells His Wares

The always cute Bobby Flay will be selling a line of kitchenware at Kohl's next spring. It will be produced jointly by The Food Network and Kohl’s Department Stores.

Is there any Food Network Star who isn't shilling merchandise?
I don't actually mind, though. Emeril's pots are good, Mario Batali's pots are sensational and stunning, and I'm sure Bobby's will be fine.

Apparently, he is the first of the Food Network's celebrity chefs to collaborate with the Food Network on these products. I'm not exactly sure what that means, except that I guess he'll have larger marketing opportunities, coupled with a smaller piece of the pie.

I was rooting around for more information and I found a page on the Food Network website I didn’t even know existed. It's a list of products offered by every single host on the network from Al Roker to Wolfgang Puck. (Remember, they don't think we're terribly educated, so they alphabetize by first name.)

Many of the hosts only have cookbooks on that site, but some have interesting products. Paula Deen, for example, has a small appliance that measures the fat globules in your bloodstream after eating one her meals. Okay, not really, but she does have a machine which cooks an egg and an English muffin simultaneously.

Luckily, there are only cookbooks listed for Sandy. RR has hundreds of products on the site, including this aptly named Garbage Bowl, which, funnily enough, is sold out. I guess after misguided folks try her recipes, they need some place to put the atrocious food, before it goes to its final resting place: the garbage...Am I being too harsh? It IS a good looking bowl.

"Emeril Live" No Longer

After more than 10 years on the air, Emeril Live has been cancelled. The Essence of Emeril will stay on, but it doesn't look like there are any new Emeril series at the moment. Apparently, his audience is skewing older and is not as attractive to advertisers.

Frankly, I think the Food Network needs Emeril more than he needs them. He has a vast empire of, firstly, 10 restaurants - let's not forget that HE, unlike many newer FN hosts, is a CHEF. Secondly, he has written a dozen cookbooks, many of them fabulously successful. Thirdly, he's licensed his name on products from cookware, knives and tableware to teeshirts and clogs. AND there's his foundation, which is doing wonderful work with various children's charities. So an hour less on the FN is just going to give him more time to conquer more universes.

My favorite Emeril Lagasse TV moment was the special he did where a school won a lunchtime makeover. He went into an elementary(?) school and served lunch to the kids after working with the hilarious old-fashioned lunch ladies. I also liked that he visited with the kid who wrote the winning letter and cooked his family breakfast. He seemed easy-going, charming and very warm.

I guess in a food television world where telegenics is more important than knife skills, Emeril was bound to move on sometime. Let's just hope he's still available to turn around a lunchtime menu or two.

Notes About Food Network Chefs

I caught Emeril on Regis and Kelly Lee (as Dave Letterman says). Apparently, they're spending some time in New Orleans to highlight all the progress that's been made. When asked how things are, Emeril replies, "Everyday gets a little bit better." From your lips...

Emeril tells them that he came to N'Orleans 25 years ago to take over
Commander's Palace from Paul Prudhomme and work with the Brennan family. I'm glad he mentioned all those folks. I want to believe that Emeril is as nice a guy as he appears. But I could be wrong, because he's obviously trying to do in Reege. He's making a Hot Crab and Crawfish Pasta with ONE AND A HALF CUPS OF HEAVY CREAM! Not exactly what the doctor ordered after heart surgery. Reege smiles weakly as he looks on, thinking...if I want to stay alive another year, I won't even LOOK at this. They come back after a break and, luckily, he doesn't even have a plate in front of him. Emeril talks about Cafe Reconcile and he does a bit about other restaurants in New Orleans.

Next on the Rachael Ray Show, she must have broken some record for talking about one's husband. Oh, he loves this or he loves that....He LOVES to shop...and so on. Rockin' Ray (I'm trying out new nicknames - but that one sounds like I approve of her cooking) must have mentioned him 30 times. I have no idea if this show was taped before all the stories about her husband, but if it was after, I have to say I kind of admire her strategy here. Rather than answering for the umpteenth time questions that are really no one else's business, she's decided to make it clear in a more subliminal way that things are fine and she's very much sticking with him.

Here's Rachael Ray counting the ways her husband is so wonderful:

Emeril Shows His Generosity

The Emeril Lagasse Foundation is donating over $500,000 in grants to fund culinary education and summer camp programs in different areas in and around New Orleans, which have been affected by Hurricane Katrina. This will bring the amount to over $1,000,000 that Emeril's foundation has given to the area since January of 2006.

The organizations to benefit include Save The Children and The United Way of Greater New Orleans, a summer arts camp at the Contemporary Arts Center in New Orleans and a brand new culinary arts program at New Orleans Center for Creative Arts (NOCCA).

Good for you, Emeril.

All About The Food Network Awards

There's a bit of red carpet footage, before the 9 o'clock hour. I'm going to be really mad, if they started early and I missed something. No, it seems ok. Various Food Network celebs are arriving. Oh, there's Giada being interviewed by Unwrapped's Marc Summers. Dave Lieberman looking very under dressed. All these folks look like they're coming out of the very same limo. They just switched the numbers to make it look like they're in different cars. Oh, there's Nigella's chest followed by the rest of her. My MY! She is getting quite prosperous, isn't she?

The show is starting. Emeril comes out. Good choice for host. He's very warm.
He tells us that a select panel from the Food Network Kitchens chose the nominees...and presumably the winners. Doesn't that make this whole thing bogus? Aren't they just picking the companies or products that partner with the Food Network on a regular basis? Isn't it kind of odd to have an awards show where you don't who the judge or jury is...

Ah well, back to the festivities. Rachael and Giada present the first award. I was a little worried about how ANYONE would look standing next to Giada, but RR handles it ok. They are giving the award for HOT Chocolate. Oh, I get it...it's the best chocolate company. And the nominees are...a company that uses fair trade cocoa beans, some real gourmet guy and a cool gal that makes chocolates in exotic flavors. I don't know about you, but I'm rooting for the fair trade guy. Rachael opens the envelope. Giada announces the winner. It's the gourmet guy from Garrison Confections. They don't even let him up on the stage. He's handed the award by some middle aged guy. Is that George Duran? I think it is.

Paula Deen and Bobby come out. She's looking gooooood. She's giving out the Edible Entrepreneur award. Interesting nominees actually. The Boiled Peanut Catalog , Alicia Polak's Khaya Cookie Company that "creates opportunity one bite at a time by hiring men and women from townships across South Africa to bake handmade cookies and provides men and women with a steady income and a sense of pride and dignity." Well, how could you not want them to win? The last nominee is a nice looking man who invented the Plantain Peeler. Yeah, I'm still going with the cookie lady. The winner is YES!!! My pick - Alicia Polak. Oh, she's accepting her award off the stage too. Why are they doing that? It looks like they don't think these folks are good enough to rub elbows with the glitterati of the Food Network. That's dumb. This seems like it's going to be one long commercial for a bunch of random products.

Ice Cream is next. Alton comes out accompanied by Nigella's protruding frontal parts. He seems a bit frantic talking to Nigella. I think he's genuinely stunned by the size of her chest and its upfrontedness. He'd probably like to do his usual scientific exploration...BTW, Alton looks quite youthful tonight. Ice Cream nominees: Izzy's is a homemade artisan ice cream, plus they get a lot of their power from solar panels.The next, MooBella, is a truly cool ice cream vending machine that allows you to order the flavor of your choice with different mix-ins. Each portion is made to order. The last is a Goat's Ice Cream. Yup, that's what I said. Not Ice Cream FOR goats, ice cream MADE FROM goat's milk. I hope the goat wins. No, not the company or the owner, but the goat. Naa...Moo Bella wins. Technology will take it every time.

Paula's back with the Delivery Of The Month award. Aren't they getting a little desperate now?
It's between Bacon

Potato Chips

and A Whole Bunch Of Stuff

Both Bacon AND Potato Chips lose!!! Now we know this is fixed!!! The Z Club's bunch of stuff wins. Oh, no, they're not there, Paula will accept for them.

Now, Emeril's "dear friend" Catherine Zeta-Jones comes out with Aaron Eckhardt. They made a movie where they play chefs. They're presenting a scholarship to the CIA - all expenses paid for 4 years, plus a job in the Food Network kitchens (as long as they don't let the kid near Sandra Lee, it'll be ok).

They're going to tell us about all the finalists. The first one is a nice boy (with a blind mother), who loves to cook and help take care of the family. He's so deserving, they better give a scholarship to ALL the finalists. I'll be mad if they don't. Well...surprise...surprise Matthew Finkel is the ONLY finalist, and he indeeds wins and it's very nice and very moving. Although, even HE can't come up to the stage. Alton is dispatched to interview him from the aisle.

The next thing is WHAT??? Favorite Childhood Read. What does that have to do with the price of eggs???? Oh, they're all about food. Apparently, the viewers picked Green Eggs and Ham. Great...I'm still not convinced this was worth missing Desperate Housewives.

Sandra Lee is giving the award for best supermarket.

Of the 3, Trader Joes

Wegman's

and Whole Foods , they seemed to give the most florid description to Wegman's, so I wasn't surprised when they won.

Nigella and Bobby come out, with Nigella literally flailing her chest into Bobby's shoulder. Oh, I guess she couldn't really help it. They introduced G. Love. Who?? His song was accompanied by a montage of our favorite FN stars. Wonderful... I'm missing Carlos and Gaby for this...

Bobby is out alone now.

Ok, now we're talking. He thanked all the fans, really sincerely...he's snazzy.

Best Burger award is his to give.

Burgerville, uses local ingredients and has a "serious devotion to sustainability". There are 2 others, but they didn't win, Burgerville did.

Now Jason Somebody, some kind of ballplayer maybe, is giving the award for the best Ball Field Food. I can understand this award, because the absolutely only thing that makes the sheer boredom of a baseball game bearable is the food. I went to a game once - it was some team in California - and I started with a quite good hot dog with relish, then nachos with a delightful cheese sauce and I made a cup of really frozen Italian ice last four and a half innings! Boy, did I have to concentrate on scraping that sucker down to nothing. I didn't even have to take out my Sudoku. Anyway, the ball fields are vying for best food. It seems clear who the winner should be and it is Citizen's Bank Park in Philadelphia. Really, how can anyone can compete with a homegrown Cheesesteak.

I think the whole purpose of this show was to have a big cap-off to February's Food Network South Beach Wine & Food Festival. Plus there was the bonus of having one and half hours of programming that they could promote up the wazoo.

Alton Brown introduces the Play with Food category.

There's Produce Portraits

Woman with Jello

Tortilla painter

- yes, he uses tortillas AS CANVASES

and a mosaic guy.

I want the Jello lady to win.. OH Good, SHE WON. Liz Hickok, you're one sick puppy.

The Humanitiarian Award Of The Entire Universal Galazy Of The World Forever Award is next. Oh, it's just the Humanitarian Of The World. OOH, the winner (there were no nominees, just one winner) is Floyd Cardoz of Tabla. I love him. He took a trip to New Orleans after Katrina and the plight of all the restaurant owners and suppliers really affected him. He mobilized his New York colleagues to use New Orleans products and he's a really good guy. OH, HE'S allowed up on stage. I guess because he's one of them. He's very emotional, accepting his award. I like him. He's lovely.

Rachael Ray by herself. First ever Hall of Fame Award goes to Julia. Well, of course, who else? That's nice. If they show Sandra Lee giving a quote about her, I'll gag. No, thank goodness, they didn't. Emeril, Bobby, even Paula...ok, we're safe. Emeril accepts on her behalf. He seems genuinely moved. They show scenes of Julia on his show. I remember that. He was so respectful towards her. "God bless you, baby, I love you", he says. Ditto. Only Emeril could get away with calling Julia "Baby". Nice moment.

Albert Pujols and his wife come out. What exactly are they doing here? Yes, I know he's with the St. Louis Cardinals. (I looked it up.) Oh, he explains why he's a presenter. His wife watches the Food Network. Oh, of course, that's why he's there...Huh???!!!%%%###!!! Well, she seems cute and nice, so they can stay. Oh boy, this is a big one. They reveal that Burgers and Fries won. Won what? Oh my, this is getting really dull, when they have to hand out prizes to fast food.

Just in time, the glamorous pair of Giada and Bobby come out. They do make a nice couple. Their award is Delicious Destination. Portland, Oregon is the first nominee. Their restaurants DO look good. Minneapolis, Minnesota is next. More sausages there than you can shake a stick at. Wait, their Mayor is really hot. I want them to win. Portland, Maine is next. They're going BEYOND lobster rolls, we're told. Why they would want to is beyond me. Portland, Oregon wins. The Mayor is on film. He's very grateful.

Ok, is it over yet? 11 more minutes to get through. Where was Ina, anyway?

Rachael and Sandra come out to present something or other about technology. Sandra's food is so shot through with chemicals and additives and poison that she's probably the right person to do this one. The first is an oven that cooks superfast. I'm not impressed. Then, there's an oven which is also a fridge. You can leave your meat or stew or anything in there in the morning, program it for sometime in the afternoon, and then when you come home at night, your meal is cooked!!! That is simply stupendous. That must win! The last is called the Anti-Griddle and apparently it freezes on contact. Why would I want to do that. I have no interest in making ice cream from a little pile of duxelles or sorbet from a blob of tomato sauce. No thank you. The Anti-griddle wins. NO! I want a RECOUNT!!!

Next, the viewers have voted on the appliance you can't live without. The winner is the MICROWAVE!!! Heathens! I use my microwave plenty, but who in their right mind would choose a microwave over a food processor??? You know what? Go ahead and keep your stupid microwaves. I just don't care anymore. I'm just waiting for this to be over. I don't know how much more I can take. Hey, where is Michael Chiarello? He was in the Red Carpet pictures. I haven't seen him. I guess they're saving him for something big.

They're back after a commercial. What? The show is over!!!! Already? Where DID the time go?

Ok, this is the final scoop. Emeril was affable enough, but he didn't really have much to do. Nigella was a good sport to participate in this pointless exercise. Paula's vibrant personality shone through. Giada and Rachael HAD to be there, since Rachael is the rock star of the FN and Giada is close on her heels of being a part of everything last darn thing in the universe that you can cook or sell. And Bobby was one hunk of telegenic chefness, just waiting to be let loose at his grill or, at least, at the margarita station.

But, really, it was a worthless way to spend a Sunday night.

Emeril - If Only I Liked His Recipes Half As Much As I Liked Him

I love Emeril. I think he's like a big cuddly teddy bear. I love the way he runs onto the screen with that prizefighter countenance and infectious enthusiasm. But..I wouldn't touch his food with a ten foot pole. Wait, let me amend that. His RESTAURANT food looks fabulous, but his recipes on the Food Network just don't appeal to me. I thought by watching his Chefography, I might come up with the answer to my indifference, but I'm more confused than ever. Learning about his life and the growth of his career makes me admire him more as a person. His food, however, stills holds no allure.

He is a native of Fall River, Massachusetts, a town with a huge Portuguese presence (including his mother's side of the family). Alot of wonderful from-the-homeland cooking went on, which interested little Emeril. He worked for a dollar an hour, washing dishes when he was 10 years old. Now THAT'S impressive. By 12, he was actually beginning to cook, learning everything he could, not because he HAD to work, but because he wanted to. WHAT was in their water?! During his school years, he worked nights (I don't mean evenings, I mean friggin' NIGHTS - 11pm to 7 am!!!) and THEN went to class...again, not because he had to.

He also loved music and was offered a scholarship at the New England Conservatory of Music. But it was the lure of the stove that drove him, so he went to Johnson & Wales and graduated in 1978. He cooked locally and here and there. In his 20's, he applied to and was hired at Commander's Palace in New Orleans as Paul Prudhomme's replacement. That's when he really found his way. He hadn't known anything about New Orleans cuisine, previously. 7 years later, he learned enough to open his first restaurant, Emeril's. He put together a loyal management team that helped him build 9 restaurants from New Orleans to Las Vegas and Atlanta to Miami.

Emeril was tapped to do a show on the Food Network. Does anyone remember "How to Boil Water"? Would you believe that I once taught someone how to boil water? Topics included what the bubbles look like when they're REALLY boiling, as opposed to not quite, almost and barely boiling. Anyway, the folks from the FN soon realized that Emeril was a bit overqualified for that show. DUH! And they came up another concept or two. When he finally hit the airwaves in "Emeril Live" in 1997, his star really began to rise. It was the first hit on the Food Network and his audience loved him. (I would still like to ask the people, did they love his recipes or just HIM? I know what I would say.)

He took his show on the road to different cities, playing in huge arenas. San Francisco Bam! Las Vegas and Chicago Double Bam!! He says, in spite of the huge business he's built, "it's still all about the food." Yeah, it's still about that godawful food. WHAT is my problem? Am I un-American? I went back and leafed through some of his cookbooks and looked at his recipes online. They leave me cold. They're either boring or a dumb combination of ingredients or a waste of valuable time putting it all together. I really can't explain. I love the man to pieces. Why am I so completely unmoved by his recipes?

We go on to learn about his multimillion dollar merchandising empire. People wanted a souvenir of his restaurants, so starting with books, one thing led to another and now he's selling everything from bottles of spices to knives and pots. (The All Clad pots, by the way, are very good.) And needless to say, Emeril shines at book signings.

This chefography covers one more very appealing aspect of Emeril. He's not afraid to share the spotlight with his famous chef friends. We see Charlie Trotter, Rick Bayless and Bobby Flay, among others, invited onto his show to bask in the light of his royal bam-ness. (I must say I do love a man dressed in clean crisp chef whites. Add a long white apron tied TIGHTLY at the waist, and you've got me at hello.)

We finish up with a list, a LONG list, of all of his good works and our visit to Emeril's life is complete. Except for one thing. How his personality can be so captivating and his food be so UN-riveting is still a mystery to me.