Friday, July 30, 2010

Tweet To Win Pastry Lesson And Lavish Hotel Stay

In honor of Executive Pastry Chef Richard Ruskell’s eleventh appearance on this Sunday’s Food Network Challenge, the gorgeous Montage Beverly Hills hotel is offering his fans (or anyone reading this) a chance to win a two night stay AND a private pastry lesson from the chef himself.


Chef Richard Ruskell

Guestroom at the Montage Beverly Hills

How? Just go to Twitter, follow the Montage Beverly Hills and tweet this:

I want to taste #ChefRuskell’s creations @MontageBH! http://bit.ly/9liWxc.

Full details and rules here. Contest runs until August 3rd.

Seems easy enough to me. Maybe he’ll teach something like this:

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Boqueria - Tops For Tapas

Flash back twenty plus (plus) years ago when H(usband) and I were lucky enough to be living in Madrid. That’s when I began to love olives, as well as olive oil. The anchovy stuffed olives, in particular, were a revelation to me and, served with an icy cold Jerez seco, they were a most delightful snack.

Anywhoo, one day a loooooong time ago, H and I were standing in line in Madrid waiting to buy tickets for something or other and we began talking to an American couple behind us. They ran a bed and breakfast and had actually written a cookbook, so we were giving them lots of food suggestions. We told them they had to check out all the Tapas Bars. They exchanged an odd look but…whatever.

We told them what to order, what to expect and so on. It turned out they thought we had said TOPLESS bars and so they were less than enthused. (Did I mention they were a really nice gay couple?) Ever since then, I’ve been very careful with my pronunciation whenever I recommend TAPAS. And, gosh, do I have a place to recommend!

A few weeks ago, a bunch of H’s work buddies, ANOTHER great group, met up at Boqueria, (the one on Spring Street) to try the tapas.

H and I know our tapas pretty well, so we were psyched. By the way, the word TAPA means lid. Traditionally, whenever you ordered a drink at a Tasca or bar, it would come with a little plate of snacks placed on top of the glass, like a lid. The tapas at Boqueria were fantastic, with some real standouts that will definitely have us going back.

Pan con Tomate, grilled bread rubbed with tomato, garlic and olive oil, was really flavorful. It was a like a simple mini-pizza with a great crunch.

Pimientos de Padrón (Shishito Peppers) were slightly sweet and slightly hot at the same time. A nice little bite.

The White Sangria was also sooo refreshing. Be careful, though, it’s easy to drink it by the pitcherful.

We moved on to the Croquetas. Ah, the Croquetas Cremosas! This was my favorite dish of the night. Some were filled with a creamy mushroom mixture, others were studded with Swiss chard. So soft and luscious on the inside, fried to a textbook crispness on the outside. I love them and I loved THESE.

I didn't even remember that the dates were stuffed with almonds AND a Valdeón blue cheese (Dátiles con Beicon), because I was concentrating on the perfectly charred bacon that was wrapped around the sweet, sticky dates. The bacon was muy rico. Charred, yet not burned. I love sweet and savory, so to me that’s a perfect bite.

One aside - One of the gals with us is a part owner of the restaurant. Of course, that definitely got us a table during a busy time, but I have no doubt that everyone there got the same great food we did. AND, as far as the service goes, I looked around to see how the staff was treating the rest of the folks (who didn’t know an owner), and it looked as if they were all treated well too.

Back to the food:

The Tortilla was delivered in a lovely big chunk with some great bread. The board also had some flavorful pieces of chorizo, a must-have on any tapas platter.

Thank goodness they forgot the Albondigas (meatballs), because I’m not sure where I would have put them (my purse, maybe), but there's always a next time.

We couldn't forget about dessert and there were two wonderful renditions of Spanish desserts that I love:

Crema Catalana is my all time favorite dessert, Spanish or otherwise. It’s so velvety, without a hint of the rubberiness that crème caramel can have. Think pudding with a sugar crust. It is pure smoothness on the spoon with the wonderful hard sugar crust as a perfect counterbalance. THIS was a good one.

You can also think Crème Brûlée, even though I think Crema Catalana is much richer and creamier. Spaniards believe their dessert predates France’s Crème Brûlée and there are a couple of differences.

Crema Catalana is cooked on top of the stove, rather than in the oven in a water bath like a Crème Brûlée and that makes it easier to make. Also Crema Catalana is typically made with cornstarch AND egg yolks, while a Crème Brûlée has only egg yolks. You would think I would prefer the cornstarch-less custard, but no, the Crema Catalana is the perfect custard dessert.

Also very, very good at Boqueria was the Spanish flan, which is like crème caramel. (BTW, flan in France is much thicker and served in slices and often topped with fruit like apricots or plums.) This Spanish flan was beautifully made. YUM!

Also on the dessert menu are wonderfully hot and crisp Churros with a deep, dark, thick hot chocolate for dipping. In Spain, those would be served for breakfast, but somehow I managed to choke them down. So good!

Boqueria is perfect for a few Tapas with drinks or you could make an entire (delicious) meal out of three or four, or maybe or five or six tapas. ;-)

I would have been happy with just the Croquetas and Crema Catalan, though. And I guarantee you don’t even have to know anyone to have a great time and great food.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Last Week's Cookbook Lalapalooza Results And Even More Cookbooks To Give Away


The results of Week 3 of the Cookbook Lalapalooza are in!

Sarah wins Eating Local. Chaya wins Tips Cooks Love. (Multiple entries are definitely the way to go!) And Pam wins Cider Beans, Wild Greens, and Dandelion Jelly.

Congratulations and thanks to everyone for entering. I’ll be in touch with the winners for mailing info.

This is the last week of my Cookbook Lalapalooza with Andrews McMeel Publishing. A big thank you to them for their wonderful cookbooks and thanks so much to everyone who has entered so far. This week’s cookbooks should inspire any cook. Check out the rules for entering at the end of this post.

Mary Mac’s Tea Room, 65 Years of Recipes from Atlanta’s Favorite Dining Room by John Ferrell is a fantastic collection of Southern recipes served in a well-known Atlanta tea room. They may call themselves a tearoom, but these are big-flavored recipes for dishes that go way beyond teas and scones. Chicken and Yankee Dumplings and Country Fried Steak and Gravy are just two hearty recipes to bring the South into your own kitchen.

Georgia Peach Cobbler (serves 8 to 10)

from Mary Mac’s Tea Room by John Ferrell

Posted with permission


2 pounds fresh fruit or 1 (16-ounce) can sliced peaches in heavy syrup, undrained
1 cup plus 3/4 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 teaspoons cornstarch
8 tablespoons (1 stick) salted butter, cut into small pieces
1/2 cup shortening
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup ice water (with crushed ice)
2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) unsalted butter, melted


Preheat the oven to 350˚F. Peel and slice the fresh fruit. (If using canned fruit, taste before adding the sugar.) Place the fruit in a bowl and add 1 cup of the sugar, lemon juice, cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla, and cornstarch. Toss together gently. Pour the sweetened fruit into a 13 by 9-inch baking dish and dot with the butter pieces.


In the work bowl of a stand mixer with the paddle attachment, on medium speed, beat the shortening, salt, and the remaining 3/4 teaspoon sugar. Gradually add 1/2 cup of the flour to the shortening mixture and mix together lightly. When the mixture becomes stiff, add 1 tablespoon of the ice water. Repeat the process until all the flour and water is used. The mixture should be soft, but not wet. Cover and let chill for 30 to 40 minutes. Roll out on a floured surface to a 13 by 9 1/2-inch rectangle.


Cover the fruit with the pastry, crimping the edges. Make 3 or 4 slits in the pastry with a sharp knife for steam to escape. Brush the crust with the 2 tablespoons of melted butter. If using fresh fruit, cook for 1 hour. If using canned fruit, cook for 25 to 30 minutes at 400˚F. The cobbler is done when the pastry is golden. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream.


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The next two books are by Sara Engram and Katie Luber, the founders of The Seasoned Palate Inc., an organic spice company. In The Spice Kitchen: Everyday Cooking with Organic Spices, they’ve put together a great collection of recipes that use their different spices in wonderful ways.

I love the sound of the Blackberry Vinaigrette with white balsamic vinegar and dried orange zest. Their Spicy Middle Eastern Chicken Skewers, fragrant with, cinnamon, cumin, coriander, ancho chile pepper AND turmeric, would make be wonderful wrapped in a warm pita. Chile, Orange, and Coriander-Rubbed Pork is also deliciously appealing.

Chicken Salad on Croissant

from The Spice Kitchen by Katie Luber and Sara Engram

Posted with permission


This salad also works well with turkey. In fact, it’s the perfect day-after-Thanksgiving sandwich.


½ cup mayonnaise, plus additional for spreading
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon dried orange zest
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 cups diced cooked chicken
½ cup Cardamom Candied Walnuts (page 112), chopped
½ cup sweetened dried cranberries
¼ cup finely diced yellow bell pepper
¼ cup finely diced celery
¼ cup finely diced red onion
2 tablespoons shelled sunflower or pumpkin seeds, preferably roasted and salted
4 croissants, halved horizontally


Whisk together the mayonnaise, coriander, orange zest, salt, and pepper in a medium bowl. Stir in the chicken, walnuts, cranberries, bell pepper, celery, onion, and seeds and gently toss the salad until evenly coated. Spread additional mayonnaise on the croissant halves if desired. Evenly divide the chicken salad between the four croissants and serve. Makes 4 sandwiches.


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The second book by Sara Engram and Katie Luber, Spice Dreams: Flavored Ice Creams And Other Frozen Treats, features spiced-up, rich and tasty ice creams like Cardomom Snickerdoodle Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches; Three Spice Chocolate Ice Cream and other frozen sorbets and desserts.

Mango Sorbet with Cumin and Cinnamon (makes about 3 cups)

from Spice Dreams by Sara Engram and Katie Luber

Posted with permission


This recipe for mango sorbet is a winner even without the spices. But cinnamon and cumin lend an appealingly adventurous streak to mangoes, so it’s a shame not to let the spices shine. We like the full teaspoon of each spice, but it’s fine to start with ½ teaspoon.


1 cup sugar
1 cup water
¹⁄8 teaspoon salt
½ to 1 teaspoon ground cumin
½ to 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3 mangoes, peeled, pitted, and cubed
2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice


Combine the sugar, water, and salt in a medium, heavy saucepan. Heat the mixture over medium heat, stirring gently, until the sugar has completely dissolved and the syrup is clear, about 5 minutes.


Whisk in the cumin and cinnamon, and continue to cook, whisking continually, for 1 minute. Remove the pan from the heat and place in a bowl of ice water to quickly cool the syrup. Let it cool, stirring often, for 5 minutes.


While the syrup is cooling, place the mangoes and the lemon juice in a food processor and puree until smooth. Strain the mango puree through a mesh sieve into a medium bowl. Add the syrup to the puree and whisk until smooth. Cover and refrigerate until completely chilled, at least 4 hours or overnight. The sorbet mixture may be stored in the refrigerator for 1 day.


Freeze the chilled sorbet mixture in an ice-cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Transfer the sorbet to an airtight container and freeze in the freezer for 2 to 4 hours before serving.


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Rules for Cookbook Lalapalooza

To win Mary Mac’s Tea Room, The Spice Kitchen or Spice Dreams, all you have to do is tell me which one you want - one of three ways:

1) Send a comment to this post. (Include your email address, if your name doesn’t link to it.)

2) Send me an email with Cookbook Lalapalooza in the subject line at FNMusings@gmail.com.

3) Tweet me at http://twitter.com/SueonFood

Enter as many times as you wish. ONE ENTRY per comment, email or tweet please. Contest open to US residents 18 years old and above.

This week's giveaway ends on Saturday, July 31st at 11:59 pm eastern time, when winners will be chosen randomly.

Top Chef DC – I Was THIS Close To Being Disgusted And Boycotting The Whole Thing Plus Girl Fight!

Top Chef DC – Cold War

Various chefs say they miss Timothy. I do too!

This week's Quickfire is totally weird and has nothing to do with anything. There are disgusting proteins on the table when the chefs come in. Then in walks Padma and Michelle Bernstein.

Wouldn’t it have been better to have Andrew Zimmern with all that funky stuff? Oh wait, they did that on Top Chef Masters. It didn’t particularly interest me then either.

The only funny thing is when Angelo picks Duck “White Kidneys” and Michelle tells him they’re actually Duck Testicles. Who knew?!! That ducks even HAD testicles, I mean. He decides to treat them like sweetbreads. I suppose that’s smart.

The other noteworthy thing is that Andrea is concerned that Michelle Bernstein is the judge. They compete in the Miami market and Andrea thinks the food in HER restaurant is every bit as good as Michelle's. Of course, Michelle is famous and Andrea is…a contestant on Top Chef.

For whatever reason (and I’m totally with Andrea that it wasn’t entirely food oriented), Michelle puts Andrea in the bottom of the Quickfire. Michelle delights in telling her that her boar needed to be cooked longer. She says twice, in a very patronizing way, that her sauce was wonderful BUT…there were problems with the meat.

Alex and Stephen are also in the bottom. Michelle likes Tamesha’s Duck Tongue, loves Amanda’s Llama and Kelly wins with her Emu Egg Omelet.

Oh, one more thing about the Quickfire. Halfway through or so, Padma comes in and barks to the chefs to step to the left and take over THAT protein. I hate that! It’s soooo pointless. But it was positively amazing what the chefs came up with. Many of them DO have quite developed culinary chops.

The Elimination Challenge is to make a cold dish. Big deal. Oh, the way it’s going to work could get ugly, and thus, exciting. They’re divided into two teams by knife pull.

Absolutely amazingly, Angelo and Kenny are on different teams. Why is that important? Because the chefs from team A will taste AND JUDGE the food from the chefs of team B and vice versa.

THEN they’ll vote on one chef from the other team to be a winner and one to be up for elimination. Obviously, Angelo will engineer it so that Kenny is up for elimination. And probably, Kenny will do the same to Angelo.

They go off on the USS Sequoia to plan their dishes. WHY are they going for a pointless boat ride? AND in their chef’s coats, although there’s no cooking going on.

We learn that JFK held important Cuban Missile Crisis meetings on the Sequoia and Kenny makes the point (to us) that the tension between Russia and US during the Cold War is reminiscent of the tension between the two chefs’ teams. He understands very well that Angelo’s team is going to try to get every advantage and vote him in the bottom, which is a perfect tactic. (There may a touch of hyperbole there, but I guess when you’ve been trapped in a house for weeks competing tirelessly, you’re allowed a bit of an overstatement.)

Ed, sounding weirdly slurred, says the other team of Tamesha, Tiffany, Angelo, Stephen and Andrea will be judging his food and he doesn’t “think there will be no personal attack” on him or his food. Poor English aside, why are his eyes dilated?

This is good. Amanda gives Alex a piece of her Chicken Galantine to try and he doesn’t tell her he tastes a bit of cartilage in there. Funny.

The judges and first group of cheftestants go into the dining room. Angelo’s team is tasting the other team’s food first.

Oy, back in the kitchen, Kevin isn’t that sure about his dish. Ed presents his dish to the judges as a Vichy-Sway. Why are people so dumb? Vichy-SWAZZZZZZZZZ. There’s an “E” on the end of Vichyssoise, so you have to pronounce the “S”. It’s a simple as that. I vote for ED to go home, because he can’t speak clearly or correctly and he looks a bit cross-eyed at the moment.

Tiffany and Angelo are being horrible about Kenny’s lamb. OH, COME ON!!! Angelo even uses the word slimy. They weren’t nice about Alex’s dish either, but not as bad as what they said about Kenny’s.

They move on to Amanda’s dish. Angelo actually holds it up and SMELLS IT and says Amanda’s Chicken Galantine wasn’t cold enough and he could taste it congealing on his tongue. Goodness! Is he going to describe how he’s digesting it too?

Tom looks appalled at their reactions. Luckily, he stands up for Kevin’s dish. Oh, I think Kevin will win. Padma asks about the least favorite. Angelo speaks up, of course. THIS IS APPALLING. WHO do you THINK he says? He says Kenny’s vision was convoluted. It’s pretty clear that HIS isn’t and he wants Kenny out now. PULEEZZZZZ.

Surprise, surprise, Kenny is up for elimination and Kevin is up for the win. I am sooooo tempted to fast forward and see what happens…but I won’t. I DO always read the ends of scary books, though, and I love to hear EXACTLY what happens at movies. I can’t relax if I’m worried about who is going to be offed. If I know the end in advance, I can enjoy the whole thing much more.

BUT here, I don’t want the outcome to color my view of what’s happening. Plus it’s fun to almost always guess wrong.

The second team is no way as horrible as the first. Let’s see what they say about Angelo’s. Kenny says the topping on Angelo’s fish overpowers the rest of the dish.

Padma asks first who is up for the win. Kevin says he prefers Angelo’s. SEE? He’s nice and not going for all this gamesmanship. Tiffany is also a favorite of the others. The least favorite? Even Kenny says Tamesha, so he’s not skewering Angelo at all costs.

It's Tamesha and Kenny up for elimination. Whew, I feel better. It’s obvious it will be Tamesha who goes home. It has to be. IF Kenny gets sent home, I'm boycotting Top Chef and going home too. Oh, I AM home...whatever.

In the stew room, Angelo actually says in front of Kenny that Kenny was his least favorite. Kenny is amazed, but takes it like the man that he is.

Kevin and Tiffany are called in and told they had the top dishes. I think Tiffany will win. And it’s…Kevin. Gosh, I AM bad at this! My local guy wins 6 nights at the Hilton Hawaiian village (including airfare, Padma adds. Duh!). He’s thrilled.

Kenny and Tamesha are called in.

If Kenny goes home, then I will eat my…I don’t know what, but I’ll be disgusted. It was soooooooooooo obvious that Angelo was spearheading a challenge.

Michelle is kind of witchy and tells Kenny that she didn’t enjoy ANY part of his dish.

OMG, ANOTHER commercial, promos, finally we’re back. Who’s going home?

It’s (it better be Tamesha)…so, WHO is it? Tamesha. WHOA, of course, it’s Tamesha. It couldn’t have been Kenny. Thank goodness, how could I ever have thought that it would be Kenny?

Tiffany says (to us) that Tamesha shouldn’t have let Angelo take so much control over her dish and Tamesha herself says that (to us). Whew, that was a close one. I need a drink(s).

Two interesting things on the Top Chef site:

In Tamesha’s exit interview, she says that when she saw Padma stroll into the dining room in high heels, she was absolutely awestruck. Well, actually, I couldn't understand a word she said, but that seemed to be the general sentiment.

And Eric does a video blog after each episode, which I usually skip because I have no patience for videos...after watching these episodes as closely as I do. But, I did watch this one.

(There was a transcript of his, unlike Tamesha’s. I guess that’s for folks who can’t stand videos like me or because his accent is a bit too strong.)

Anyway, Eric mirrored my remarks from the beginning of this post about Michelle. Describing Michelle’s treatment of Andrea, he makes a growling cat noise (or maybe it was the motion). I don’t like stereotypical portrayals of women’s dealings with each other usually, but I don’t think he was wrong. And, actually, even if Andrea had been a MALE chef from Miami, Michelle still might have peed on her (proverbially speaking) in a quest to establish Miamian dominance.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Get Your Bacon Muffin Recipe Here!


Where can you find recipes for Blueberry Marmalade, Bacon Muffins or a Kentucky Bourbon Cake? In Cider Beans, Wild Greens, and Dandelion Jelly by Joan E. Aller. You have until 11:59 pm tonight to enter my latest Cookbook Lalapalooza to win this wonderful collection of Southern Appalachian recipes. And Cider Beans…is just one of the books I’m giving away.

To enter ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TELL ME WHICH BOOK YOU WANT:

Cider Beans, Wild Greens, and Dandelion Jelly,

Tip Cooks Love

or Eating Local

Tell me in one of three ways:

1) Send a comment to this post or the original Cookbook Lalapalooza post. (Include your email address, if your name doesn’t link to it.)

2) Send me an email with Cookbook Lalapalooza in the subject line at FNMusings@gmail.com.

3) Tweet me at http://twitter.com/SueonFood

Enter as many times as you wish. ONE ENTRY per comment, email or tweet please. Contest open to US residents 18 years old and above.

This week's giveaway ends on Saturday, July 24th at 11:59 pm eastern time, when winners will be chosen randomly.

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Next Food Network Star - They Actually COOKED Tonight Plus The Best Line Of The Night – “I Like To Play With Myself”

And I Can't Help Myself From Being Harsh With One Contestant In Particular

The Next Food Network Star - Retro Palm Springs

The contestants gather in front of Giada and Bobby to learn about the first challenge. They each get a bunch of different ingredients which they have to make into a little snack for a specific occasion – Birthday party, Bachelorette party etc.

The prize? They get to present entertaining tips on the Cooking Channel. As if reading from a script, Giada says, “The Cooking Channel is the network for today’s new food lover who’s lookin’ for even more.” (Yes, she said LOOKIN’ as if to make it seem like the words just casually fell from her mouth.)

But hold on! I was looking for more and all I got was a stale yellow cake from some British person, a boring bunch of too easy recipes from an Aussie and That’s Amore running through my brain as I watched David Somebody in a retro Italian inspired food show.

Back to the group. They made their stuff. Herb AGAIN overthought the whole thing. He is sooooooooooooooo going home. I would bet the farm that he’s on his way out. Oh, Brianna noise-dived too.

Aria? Not too good either. Bobby looks stunned by her actually. It wasn’t that bad. Oh wait, Bob says he likes Aria. OY, I have no idea what they want from her.

The one on the bottom – Herb and Brianna.

Who were the best? Tom and Brad both relaxed and both won. They will BOTH be presenting their tips on the Cooking Channel. Too bad I won’t be watching because I’ve completely forgotten what out of the way channel it is.

On to the next thing. Ted Allen comes strolling out and for some reason they seem flabbergasted to see him as they ooh and ahh!! He tells them The Star Challenge is to reinvent classic dish with a modern twist. And they’ll be doing it in Palm Springs in Frank Sinatra’s old house. That’s kinda interesting. I’ve driven by there.

Brianna gets Tuna Noodle Casserole that she’s not happy with. She’s going to make a Brie And Crab Casserole. That could be good or a gunky, gummy mess. Brad’s Chicken Cordon Bleu is going to be reinvented as Bacon Wrapped Chicken On Top Of Risotto. Why bother with the risotto? THAT could be a gunky, gummy mess.

The next morning they leave for Frank’s house. We see Brad without his hat (for a moment) and I totally don’t recognize him.

Ooh, they’re on Frank Sinatra Drive. (I love Palm Springs.)

Not Frank Sinatra Drive, but close by.

They arrive at Twin Palms and walk into the pool area (in the shape of a piano). I wonder if it’s open to the public. Oh, it can be rented. What a bargain! NOT!!!

Aria’s spin on Pigs In A Blanket is going to be Buttermilk Battered Shrimp With Crème Fraiche And Caviar. Is she insane? What do the two things have to do with each other?

Oy, I really think she’s going to have a problem this week. Aria actually tells us it’s NOT Pigs In A Blanket, it’s a modern twist. NO, it’s not a twist; it’s a complete u-turn in the opposite direction.

Brad also says he can’t figure out the connection between the two. Aria seems proud of the fact that she’s taking a huge risk. Well, actually she should be a bit more nervous than she is about their reaction.

6 folks sit down at a table set by the pool. Bobby, Bob, Susie, Ted, Maile Carpenter, editor of the Food Network Magazine and some other guy wearing a beat-up hat (AT the table) is there. Aria tells us it’s Cal Fussman. Who?

Anyway, she explains that Pigs In A Blanket are crispy with something salty inside and so is her shrimp. Bobby says, “You threw the pig right out the window.” She said she didn’t want to do pork again.

Ted immediately says, “It’s a strange choice to choose shrimp as the protein.” He doesn’t feel it pays homage to pigs in a blanket in any way. Susie kind of defending her, says she says she’d done pork a lot.” Bobby, almost nasty, says, “SO WHAT! Pork Belly would have been awesome.” Bob likes the dish however and Susie likes her energy. OH, Cal Fussman is from Esquire, they did say that earlier. He liked that she took a risk.

Tom’s spin on Lobster Thermidor is a Lobster Fennel Napoleon. At least the main ingredient is the same, but nothing else is. I don’t know if they’re going to buy the puff pastry idea.

Tom grilled the lobster without oiling the grill and he says it looks like a lobster massacre. Maybe that’s why he’s an unemployed chef. Can you imagine if he ruined a night’s worth of lobster?

He’s happy, though, with the way it looks. He presents it to the committee, thinking it would be good to tie in a Frank Sinatra story. That’s fine but he goes a little off the rails when he describes visits with his grandmother, his parents’ divorce, grandpa dying, grandma belting out Frank Sinatra (after a few whiskies) all in ONE SENTENCE.

Ugh, get to the food a’ready. He finally gets to the dish and he’s talking about how he likes to mix it up in the kitchen. He actually says, “I like to play with myself.” He stops short and looks appalled. Bobby says, “Thank you, Tom,” and he’s dismissed. They actually like the dish.

Lucky for Aarti, she got deviled eggs, which is easy-peasy to make in an Indian style. Plus she said she’s never even had the other dishes before. She’s making a Devil-ish Egg Curry over Red Rice Pilaf. But she has a lot to do and some of it is going wrong. She says she’s feeling a little bit out of her element as she walks up to the table. That’s never good.

Aarti’s spiel isn’t good. She says this is a good dish to make when you don’t have a lot of money. Bob says you’re at Frank Sinatra’s house in Palm Springs, maybe we don’t wanna be thinking about a budget. Good point. AND Susie got no curry on her dish. Not good either. Then Aria tells US that THIS could be HER chance to move ahead…Umm, I think not.

Commercial for an after party on the Cooking Channel. DARN! I would have loved to have seen that. Have they done that before? I’m watching on Tivo, so I had no clue that was on. Of course, it would have meant I would again have had to do deep research into exactly what channel the Cooking Channel is on.

Brianna has burned the bread crumb and wild mushroom topping for her tuna noodle casserole remake. She actually admits to the judges that she burned the crumbs. They like the dish, though. Cal says the dish sold itself. Bob says it had to since Brianna didn’t help it at all with her presentation.

Herb is making a healthy version of Beef Stroganoff. He feels good about it. The judges take a bite and really hate it, but they like HIM. Susie wants him to quit with the healthy food and go with his Cuban roots.

Serena is making an Italian puff pastry (frozen puff pastry) dessert. What does that have to with a Pineapple Upside Down Cake? Apparently it doesn’t, according to Bobby. And Maile says her puff pastry wasn’t even baked all the way through.

There are still more people?!! Oh gosh, Brad. His Bacon-Wrapped Chicken dish does sound good, but he’s got all the excitement of a wet dishrag. Seriously, HOW DID THEY PICK THESE PEOPLE?

The Food Network had to have gotten a bunch of videos from better choices than many of these folks. Do you have to sign so MANY disclaimers, and be available for SO long and agree to so MANY conditions that the pool of people becomes smaller and smaller and smaller until you’re left with an Italian lawyer (Does she actually practice law? At least that would be one thing she was good at.) Or a cap-wearing, bland, third tier cook? Really!

I’m going to be harsh here and say that there is nothing that could come out of Brad’s mouth that would interest me. Even Adam Gertler (HATE that last name) had some verve and elicited a reaction from people, even if it was negative. Brad doesn’t even register on the impression scale. Boring, bland and blasé.

The words “I’m excited” coming from Brad are like someone else barely registering a pulse. Okay, his presentation is good…for him. He has a couple of good lines where he says that he wanted to make Chicken Cordon Bleu HIS WAY. (Everybody should have said that.)

Brad said he’s had doubts, but NOW he’s confident. He’s also 5 weeks late and a million dollars short, which is what it would take to convince me to watch a show starring him on the Food Network.

They all liked his dish and his presentation. Bob says, “He was magic”. NOT!!! He was the way he should have been all along, but he was not magic. He was a soft-spoken, sweet, skinny, unexciting guy. Give me the beast any time!

We’re back in the judging room. Let’s find out who’s out of there. BTW, Brianna is wearing a beautiful one-shoulder dress.

They say Serena doesn’t seem like an expert in Italian cooking. Ya think?!!

Herb’s dish was unsuccessful and he should have gone where he felt more comfortable – Latin cooking, although he says that’s why he was a fat little kid. So stay Latin and cut the fat. What’s the problem?

Bob says Tom’s expertise is diminished by his rambling.

Susie says Brianna was so negative about her dish even before they even tasted it. Brianna admits she has a problem getting personal. Bobby says relaying tips within a personal story is the best way for people to relate. Yes and no, I think. If you give an exciting, informative cooking demonstration, I don’t think anyone has to know squat about your personal life.

Oh gosh, listen to this: BOB SAYS BRAD REMINDED THEM ALL OF THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD WITH HIS EFFORTLESS STYLE. Puleez! Just because he didn’t stare at them like a deer in the headlights (THIS TIME) does not mean he’s been transformed into Emeril.

They tell Aria they liked her food, but even though she tries AGAIN to make a connection between fried shrimp and a hot dog in pastry, they don’t buy it. I actually agree (for once)!

Bob didn’t like Aarti’s food or presentation. And the winner is…Brad...of course, it is. This is dumb.

Aarti, Herb and Brianna are in the bottom three. It’s gotta be Herb who’s going home. And the loser is…Brianna! Gosh, I’m so bad at this! I think that’s a big mistake. Herb is not going to win and Brianna I could see possibly pulling it out.