Saturday, November 22, 2008

Sandy, What Will You Think Of Next?

Sandra Lee's SemEYE-Homemade Thanksgiving

I never heard of frozen chopped onions before. That was one of the things Sandra Lee stuffed into her Thanksgiving turkey. She also shoved 3 packages of mixed herbs (amazingly they were fresh!) into her turkey along with those thawed onions. She left the last batch of herbs kind of hanging out of the turkey, which she said would make a nice presentation. I'm not sure that stuff flopping outside of a cooked turkey would appeal to anyone...

She seemed very apologetic about using real onions in her onion tart. To counter the fact that the onions actually came from the earth and not a factory, she made sure to also add onion soup mix to the filling and, of course, it went into prepackaged pastry.

Sandy made quite a few dishes. This is what you’ll have to have in your pantry or freezer if you want to make her recipes:
Alfredo Sauce Mix (recommended: McCormick)
some kind of premade potatoes that come cut up in chunks and I think they’re cooked…
Store Bought Cornbread
Frozen Diced Onions, thawed
Italian Herb Marinade Mix (recommended: Durkee Grill Creations)
1 packet Garlic Herb Sauce Mix (recommended: Knorr)
1 can Refrigerated Biscuits (recommended: Pillsbury Grands)
1 box Sugar-Free Cranberry Gelatin (recommended: Jell-O)
Pumpkin Pie Spice

I’m very sorry I wasn’t paying attention when she made the gravy. I have a feeling something far more evil than Gravy Master went in, but I didn’t see. Even the Food Network must have realized how bad the recipe was, though, because every time I searched for it, it kept saying error.

Sandy did have one authentically good idea. For her Roasted Butter Herb Turkey, she formed the herb butter that she was going to shove (there was a lot of shoving in this hour) under the skin of the turkey into a log and chilled it in advance. Then she cut it into disks and it went under the skin much more easily and evenly. Of course, she DID add some powdered poison to it.

When Aunt Sandy started lecturing about Native American culinary traditions and then took out a packet of butterscotch pudding and corn muffin mix, I was ready to tomahawk her. It only seemed fitting that she cooked it for 3 hours in the slow cooker.

She ended with the most awful sounding cocktail (sweet vermouth, gin and white cranberry juice) made by an Italian friend of hers. I can only imagine that when he saw the onion soup mix in the meal, he went running. So should we.


The Short (dis)Order Cook said...

Aunt Sandy exists for one purpose, and one purpose only - to be made fun of. I think the only reason her show gets high ratings is that people watch it to make fun of her.

I only watched a little of this episode, but from what I could tell, this took just as much time and effort as a regular Thanksgiving dinner.

Sue said...

Hey Rach,
This is what is incomprehensible. She'll be going along and her cooking looks reasonable enough and then all of a sudden she'll take out a packet of dehydrated, sodium-packed, artificial-laden gunge and throw it into whatever she’s cooking, when the recipes were fine without that crap.

Maybe she’s been using all of this for so long that she’s addicted to it. Or maybe Knorr and Durkee give her a huge bonus for each mention of their products.

Ramya Vijaykumar said...

Frozen onions wow that sounds really exciting new ideas and new recipes for thanksgiving...

DebCarol said...

Problem for me is ~ whenever I watch Aunt Sandy I need a double dose of whatever "cocktail" she is serving. That is the only way to get through her show.

Emily said...

Hahaha, I think I've seen this episode before. That pudding sounds weird.