Back Into The Swing Of Things With Pioneer Woman Plus to Scald or Not

Pioneer Woman with Ree Drummond

Spring Burning
Grilled Chicken Sliders
Grilled Potato Bundles
Blackberry Pot Pies
Grilled Corn with Bell Pepper Butter

Vanilla Bean Ice Cream

Pioneer Woman is certainly one way to get back to blogging. There’s always something to talk about with Ree and her crew. But, first, just so you know, I really haven’t fallen off the face of the earth…just the computer. What’s been taking center stage lately is my renovation and my wedding. Okay, it’s not technically MY wedding, but D(aughter) calls it that to get on my good side.

My latest projects have been to pick out tile and plan D’s bridal shower. I had no idea that a new bathroom had the potential for so much tile and that there were so many napkin possibilities for a bridal shower. Each one cuter than the last… The funny thing is that I’ve been spending tons more time (and effort) “designing” the napkins for the bridal shower than I’ve spent picking out tile for the ACTUAL shower.

A friend told me that the tile was going to last a lot longer than the napkins, so I should get my act in gear, but what could be more fun than looking through 50 shades of purple and deciding whether the text should be foil or not?!! The napkins are finally done, but I’ve found another shower (bridal) project that is endless – Tissue Paper Flowers.

I started by making them myself, until D said they looked like something people would blow their noses with. She wasn’t being horrible, it was true! So I ordered some from Etsy. Really great, EXCEPT I still have to unfold the million layers of tissue to get them to the flower stage. Gosh, what difficult problems I have!

Let’s talk about some real world issues. Ree is cooking for Lance Ladd (Happy Father's Day!) and the kids after they’ve spent the afternoon “burning” the fields or outback or whatever. Is that a good idea with the drought they’re having? I’m hoping they know what they’re doing.

Ree takes a drive “up to” the lodge to make dinner. I had no idea it was so far from her actual house. She’s driving forever on dirt roads to get there. I guess it’s in in the back 40. I love that expression. I always talk about our back 40 when I go from the end of the deck to the back fence…which probably isn’t even 40 FEET, much less 40 acres.

They show the family (sans Ree) driving fire trucks out to the pasture. Oh my! This burning of fields is a really big deal that takes the whole town to help. I’m feeling uneasy that a 16 year old is driving one of these things. I guess kids grow up faster on the range than in these here parts. I wouldn’t even let my kids light a match until they were 20.

Ree is grilling most of dinner…in keeping with the day’s activities. She’s starting with dessert, though – homemade vanilla ice cream. I like that she takes 2 quarts of heavy cream from the fridge. What could be wrong with that? Oh, it’s half and half. I guess I can live with that.

Ree warms up the half and half with some sugar. Interesting. I always add the sugar to the egg yolks for the base of the custard. She splits a vanilla bean and scraps out the seeds and adds both to the pot. She beats egg yolks in a mixer and then tempers them with some of the hot half and half mixture. Nothing wrong here, but it does feel weird to me that the egg yolks are sugar-less. Next Ree pours the tempered eggs (removing the vanilla bean pod) back into the half and half. She cooks it for a few minutes, stirring all the time.

About scalding the cream, in the olden days (you know, way back in 2000 something and before) recipes would always direct you to scald the milk for a custard. Nowadays, that’s not the case. Scalding used to be necessary before milk was pasteurized to kill bacteria. We don’t have that worry now, but there’s another reason for it. Scalding kills an enzyme in milk that hinders the egg yolks thickening. Some believe that custard just doesn’t set the same way with non-scalded milk.

I’m pretty set in my ways, so I always heat my milk and/or cream for a custard. I like that it dissolves the sugar and I may be imagining this, but I also like the flavor of heated-up milk. I could be making this up, but milk tastes sweeter to me after it’s been boiled. Even if I’m making a cold latte, I boil the milk first. I was once refused hot milk in an iced latte at Starbucks, because it was against the rules. So I had them make me a regular latte and I asked for a large cup of ice. Out of eyeshot, I poured it over the cup of ice. Perfect.

PS One more thing - Scalding milk in bread-making gives the dough a better volume, because it kills an enzyme that inhibits the development of gluten and prevents the dough from rising properly. 

Back to Ree, she adds the cooked custard to 3 cups of cold heavy cream.  Hmmm, so she scalded half the cream and the other half she used cold. Adding it cold WILL cool down the mixture faster and allow it to get into the ice cream machine faster. But I heat all the cream and milk to make the custard and then I cool it overnight, so it’s really cold.

By the way, my typical vanilla ice cream recipe is 5 cups of milk and cream to 6 egg yolks and 1 cup of sugar (actually, I take out 2 tablespoons). Ree’s has tons more sugar…6 cups of cream and half and half to 8 yolks and TWO cups of sugar.

Oh, Ree says she does sometimes chill the mixture first, but if you have a good ice cream machine, it will do it for you. NO, don’t assume that.  If you put a warmish custard into an ice cream machine, it will never get cold enough to do its creamy, velvety, whole point of ice cream thing.  It will never get beyond that super slushy phase within the time the ice cream machine is designed to run. My Cuisinart countertop ice cream machine loses its cool (literally) after about 35 minutes, although I never let it go past 25 to 30 minutes. (It says to turn it off after 45 minutes.) First rule of ice cream, start with a cold base.

While the ice cream is churning, Ree explains why they light their ranch on fire every spring. Apparently burning is “an important part of pasture management”. It makes the grass more nutritious for the cattle. Oh, and it “helps revitalize the prairie”. Who wouldn’t want that? They burn a perimeter around each pasture first and then put THAT fire out so the main fire in the middle of the pasture doesn’t spread. I sure hope nothing goes awry with their plan.

Ree takes the ice cream out of the machine. It looks a little soft. WHAT did I say? ;-)  She packs it into containers and puts it in the freezer until dinner.

Next up is individual blackberry pies. Ree adds sugar to frozen blackberries in a pot and then adds vanilla extract and heats it up. Nope, don’t do that. Add the vanilla after it comes off the heat, so you don’t burn all that expensive flavor away.

Ree cooks the blackberry mixture just until it comes to the boil. (That poor vanilla!) She adds lots of cornstarch to a little water and pours it into the blackberries and simmers it and then cools it. Again, don’t subject your vanilla to the same raucous boiling that the cornstarch requires.

Ree rolls out her pie crust. She made it by mixing flour (with salt), SALTED butter and shortening. Way too much salt, but salty stuff is so popular with dessert these days. I would never buy salted butter (the only good use I’ve ever heard for it is toast), but it might make a heartier tasting pie crust that contrasts nicely to the sweet berries. Maybe.

Ree mixes it all with a pastry blender and then she adds a beaten egg and cold water and white vinegar. WHY would she add vinegar? She doesn’t say, but it’s supposed to make a flakier crust because the acid inhibits the development of the gluten and the vinegar also prevents overbrowning. I’ve never added vinegar, but I have used lemon juice occasionally. Now that I think about it, it would make sense for a pie that bakes for a long time – pecan pie or a deep dish apple pie.

Ooh, so what have we learned? Vinegar in pie crust inhibits gluten and makes a flaky pie crust and scalded milk in yeast doughs does exactly the opposite. It ENCOURAGES the development of gluten. Do I have that right? Yup, I think so.

One other comment about Ree’s pastry. She says to use cold water. That’s not good enough, it should be ICE water. You’re trying to keep the butter or other fat as cold as it can be before it goes into the oven. Ree forms her pie dough into a disk and chills it. Oy, of course she does. And I know that’s what most people do. I have to mention (you’ve probably heard it before) my own weird method of dealing with pastry.

As soon as it’s mixed up, I roll out the beautifully pliable dough between two sheets of plastic wrap. It’s such a complete pleasure to work with soft dough, unlike dough from the fridge that you have to fight with and beat with a rolling pin. Mine is pliable and relaxed and delightful. And you’ve protected it from sticking with the plastic. (I have used foil too.) Then I lay the dough round on the top of an overturned baking sheet and refrigerate it for at least 30 minutes. I can also freeze it like that, which means I can get the messy and hard part of making a pie crust out of the way in advance. If I’m making a pie that day, I just take the dough from the fridge and fit it into the pie dish and maybe chill it just a bit longer before filling and baking, so it keeps it shape. 

Back to Ree’s pies - She cuts out the rolled out dough just big enough to cover her baby cast iron skillets. I love those. And I do love having special equipment for every little thing in the kitchen, but I have to admit those are not in my pantry. Life is too short to have EVERYTHING and individual cast iron skillets are not part of my stockpile (at the moment). I suppose you could use big ramekins or whatever you use for onion soup, for example.

Ree uses a ladle to get the filling into the skillets. She tops them the pastry rounds and brushes the crusts with egg wash and vents them. Meanwhile, we see the family starting fires…and putting them out. Ree bakes the little pies at 350°F for 20 to 25 minutes until they’re browned.

Apparently, the burning is going okay. We see scads of smoke and fire. They’re refilling the water trucks. Probably a good idea.

The pies come out of the oven.

Next are potatoes. Ree chops unpeeled russet potatoes into big chunks. She mixes in some chopped onion and puts them in heavy duty foil squares with a chunk of butter.  That’s a bit dull. And no salt? Oh, she adds some cream on top AND salt and pepper AND some paprika AND some chopped parsley. That sounds better. She folds up the squares and puts them on a hot grill. They cook for 30 minutes. (I find sometimes potatoes never cook through like that. I would be tempted to dump those potato pieces into boiling water for about 90 seconds and then proceed with the recipe.)

Ree finishes up the meal by making grilled corn with bell pepper butter. She processes really cold butter with 3 colors of peppers. She says to add a jalapeño too, if you want. Salt and pepper go in and she pulses it until it’s all combined. It looks chunky rather than smooth. Ree adds the flavored butter to individual foil packets of corn. She wraps them tight. We see Ladd hurling himself up into the cab of a big truck.

The corn packages go on the grill, not on the hottest part, Ree says. (Won’t they steam rather than grill? I guess that’s what she’s going for.) Ree puts chicken on the grill for 3 minutes on each side. (They’re boneless breasts.) She adds pre-sliced cheddar to the chicken. Oh and the chicken was marinated in vegetable oil, garlic, Worcestershire sauce, lemon juice and chopped onion.

Ree plates the chicken (before the family has arrived) and takes everything else off the grill.

One last thing to do. She fries bacon for the sliders. The kids and Ladd arrive. Their faces are covered in soot and their clothes smell like smoke. They wash their hands and sit down at the table. Ick, I would want them fumigated before they touched any furniture. Ree is much more relaxed. They eat whatever she’s made and drink water from jam jars and are very happy with their little pies and ice cream. Luckily, their fire-mongering went well, and they didn’t need that jam jar water to put out any blazes.

Pioneer Woman Celebrates A Good Kid’s Birthday Plus My Favorite Ina Game

Pioneer Woman with Ree Drummond 

Alex's Birthday

Iny's Prune Cake with Buttermilk Icing

Rosemary Focaccia

New York-Style Chopped Salad

Herby Ranch Dressing

Ice Cream Flower Pot Desserts

There were lots of repeats on the Food Network this weekend and I had no intention of watching Pioneer Woman. But what could I do when there was so much to say after I watched it for just a minute?

It was daughter Alex’s 15 birthday and “after a morning of ranch work with the family”, Ree was making her Great Granny’s prune cake for the birthday. Interesting choice. I do love prunes with chicken so why not in a cake? But for a 15 year old?

The kids and dad are working hard “shipping cattle”. Let’s not think too hard about that. Maybe they’re being shipped from one bucolic field to another. And, after all, if we’re going to eat meat, we shouldn’t look away from how it gets to our plates. (Although, of course, we can support healthier more humane ways of that happening…if there is such a thing.)

But hold on for a sec. Let’s consider this ranch scene for a moment. One of my favorite games is putting Ina in imaginary settings where she would be ever so out of place. 

Let’s imagine Ina and Jeffrey herding cattle out yonder in Oklahoma…in their twin BMW’s. Would they have the tops down? And would Ina have a jaunty bandanna tied around her neck? She would probably make the best of it by making lots of friends and mixing up a pitcher of lemon drops to serve to the ranch hands. “How easy is that?” (OH! Ree’s ranch hands are teens and younger…Never mind.) Would Jeffrey bring his work with him or would he help Lance barbecue a side of beef for dinner?

And what would Ree do if she found herself at Ina’s? Would she wander around the Contessa’s spread, thinking how many cattle could live out in back forty? She’d probably gaze at Ina’s pantry with the longing of someone who has to drive 45 minutes to buy a bottle of vanilla.

Anyhoo, back to earth. I don’t want to be difficult, but just in the initial few seconds of Ree’s first recipe, she’s given me plenty of things to harangue her for comment on.

PW is taking her flour from a bag with the edges folded down. That’s a smart way to avoid catching the cup of the rim of the bag, but it’s a dumb way to store flour. Get yourself a large plastic container or wide-mouthed jar that can hold a bag of flour. Do the same with the sugar. You’ll save the equivalent of 4000 woman or man hours over the course of your life by not having to fiddle around with a measuring cup in a bag of flour - edges folded down or not. (I admit that time estimate may be just a bit off…depending on how much baking you do.)

Next problem. Ree adds a teaspoon of nutmeg to the cake batter. It looks like she’s gotten it from a bottle. It could never taste as fresh as newly ground. There’s no reason not to have a few nutmeg berries (they're actually called "seeds") in the cupboard. They honestly last FOREVER. Really. Plus most recipes don’t call for that much, so it’s a cinch to grate a small amount. Unless you’re making eggnog in bathtub-sized batches, grate fresh nutmeg every time you use it.

Ree does take the time to sift her flour, spices and leavening. Honestly, I mostly just stir them up (if they’re lucky), but I also don’t compress my flour as I take it from the container.

For the wet ingredients, Ree mixes sugar (it’s not a wet ingredient, but never mind. I’m just happy she’s taken it from a big jar…Yay!) with 3 eggs, a big teaspoon of vanilla and a cup of canola oil. WHY doesn’t she use safflower oil? You know have I thing about canola oil, plus I despise its taste.  (You could also substitute some applesauce for the oil, if you wanted to lighten it up.) She mixes the batter with a little whisk. I would definitely use a fork.

BTW, if you always keep the fork in contact with the bottom of the bowl as you’re beating, it will NEVER splash over the sides.

The wet ingredients get mixed into the dry ones and then Ree stirs in a cup of buttermilk and adds the prunes. She readied the prunes by cooking them in water until soft for about 8 minutes and then draining and mashing them. Frankly, wouldn’t even chopped up prunes be good?

The batter goes into a well-buttered 9 by 13 glass dish. For some reason, Ree feels she has to justify the size of dish she’s using. She says others have made the cake too thick or too thin and this one will work just fine. Hmm. We’ll see about that. It does look kind of flat before baking. Maybe she SHOULD have used a different pan. It bakes at 300°F. for 35 to 40 minutes. That’s low. Definitely make sure your oven is preheated if you’re using such a low temperature. Ree says. “Grandma Iny was adamant. Do NOT overbake this cake,” (which would be hard at that low a heat anyway…)

I HATE baking stuff at 300°, except meringues, which might be baked even lower. I find that cakes and brownies take FOREVER and they never really cook in the middle.

Ree moves on to Iny’s icing. She stirs together a cup of sugar and a cup of buttermilk in a medium saucepan. Then she adds butter, baking soda and just a bit of corn syrup and vanilla. I don’t approve of adding the vanilla at this point. Add it after the sauce or icing has come off the stove.

Ree says to use a candy thermometer to check the temperature because she doesn’t want it to go as far as the caramel stage. She “stops the cooking process before it gets to the soft ball stage”. She doesn’t tell us what temperature that is, but I will. 235°F. is the beginning of the soft ball stage, so take the sugar mixture off the heat right then or JUST below that. Remember it keeps cooking after it’s removed from the heat.

The icing looks really foamy, which is from the baking soda. That will make a softer mixture which will be easier to pour.

Ree takes the cake out of the oven. It does look really thin. The kids and dad come home. Ree says to pour the icing over the cake right when it comes out of the oven. (The only reason I can see to have a cake that thin, is that there’s more real estate to benefit from that yummy icing.)

Ree puts one candle in and lets Alex blow out the candle. She cuts the birthday girl a piece of cake and serves it on a pretty yellow plate. No garnish? Not even a berry or two? Eh! I used to give my kids a beautiful breakfast in bed for their birthdays. (Don’t be that impressed. I made THEM do the same for me.)

Next we see Alex with her friends opening birthday presents. She IS a sweet girl and I like how she says she loves everything with lots of thank-you’s. That’s good training and it DOES take a lot of that. (Before my kids’ birthday parties, I used to practice situations of what to do if the birthday kid hated something or if he or she got duplicates. So we had a secret signal and whenever I put anything on top of the mantel - so it would stay pristine and unopened - that was their sign that we’d exchange it for something else AFTER the party. BUT they had to be gracious in that moment.)

There are a few other things that I appreciated that Ree DID do. She proofed her yeast before mixing up her focaccia dough. Actually, it was good that she MADE focaccia dough in the first place. I do wish, though, that she had thrown some whole wheat flour in there.

Oh, I spoke too fast. She’s losing me again. After the dough is mixed and risen, she says, “I LOVE sticky dough.” NOW we know she’s a poser. Sticky dough is necessary sometimes, but does anybody really LOVE it? It’s a big pain.

Ree kneads half the dough with fresh chopped rosemary. (The other half is being put away for another time.) She drizzles olive oil on a baking sheet and put the dough on top. She drizzles over a bit more olive oil, covers it and lets it rise for another hour.

I also like that she’s making a real ranch dressing with lots of fresh herbs. 

She chops chives, parsley, basil and oregano. C’mon Pioneer Woman disparagers, THIS is a perfectly good recipe. No tricks or flourishes, probably just like your grandmother made (if she had ever heard of ranch dressing.)

Actually, it may be a little gloppy. Mayo, sour cream and buttermilk with herbs, vinegar and Worcestershire sauce. Now I can’t decide what I think. Is it garbage or homemade goodness? (…which I know can be the same thing.) Basically, they’re eating white bread (with rosemary and lots of olive oil) with a salad doused in mayonnaise. Maybe that isn’t so great.

Well, these kids get an amazing amount of exercise, so I guess they can have any salad dressing they want.

Ree finishes the focaccia by putting fingerprints all over the top, adding more olive oil plus salt. She bakes it at 400°F. for 30 to 40 minutes.

Ree is making chopped salad because she and Alex had it in New York where it was chopped up tableside. So PW is pulling together lots of ingredients for the girls to have what they want. The girls pick their fixin's and PW chops them up with two knives on a big cutting board and then dresses the salad with the ranch dressing. Not a bad idea, but the only protein is hard boiled eggs. And there are so many other healthy things she could have added -shredded red cabbage, snow peas, edamame. And, seriously, why couldn’t she have added some seared chicken breasts and/or grilled shrimp? AND where is the bacon??? Maybe Alex doesn’t eat meat? Good luck to her on the ranch.

Dessert is weird…for 15 year olds. Ree serves up pound cake in flower pots with chopped up Oreos as dirt. Remember the dessert that Friday’s (I think) used to have (maybe still does?) on their kid’s menu? It was called Cup O’ Dirt and it had gummy worms and chopped up Oreos over pudding. 

Ree starts with a clay flower pot (she didn’t even say it should be clean OR new…ew) She puts some disks of bought pound cake on the bottom that she had cut out with a cookie cutter.

Next Ree sticks a straw the height of the flower pot into the middle of the cake. She spoons in softened ice cream right up to the top of the pot and freezes them. Just before serving, Ree puts gummy worms on the top and covers them up with ground-up Oreos. A very pretty Gerber daisy gets stuck into each straw as a final flourish, and, voila, a dessert fit for…an eight year old.

 

But you know what? I’m not going to give her a hard time, because what mother doesn’t want to keep her kid young forever? For all I know, my son is still eating Cups O’ Dirt, but he probably wouldn’t want it publicized all over the place. So let’s pretend for Alex’s sake that dessert was a bit less jejune.

Boys, Girls and Pasta Primavera Plus What Does It All Mean To Pioneer Woman?

Pioneer Woman with Ree Drummond

Girl Time and Burger Time

Fry Sauce

Pasta Primavera

Perfect Bacon Cheeseburgers

Perfect French Fries

Cantaloupe Granita

I’ve said this before. I don’t hate Pioneer Woman, BUT am I alone in thinking that this "Girl Time and Burger Time" show was a throwback to a time that I don’t really want to go back to?

This is how Ree puts it at the beginning and then at the end of the show: “The guys are away for a couple of days so it’s quality time for us girls and that means plenty of gardening, which WE love." (Yeah, right…) "And Pasta Primavera, which is the girls’ and my idea of heaven.”

Later: “Then it’s back to the real world – THE GUYS ARE COMING HOME! What better way to welcome to them than with one of our family’s favorite meals - perfect Bacon Cheeseburgers and homemade French fries and luscious ‘fry sauce’”? That last thing turns out to be Russian dressing, BTW.

Is it going overboard to think that Pioneer Woman is a bit of an anachronistic fossil, who is a horrible example to her girls and an even worse one to her sons?

Listen, I’m all for Girls Only occasions – shopping, drinking cosmos, going to chick flicks. But when these “special” days involve Girls Only manual or household labor, I just think WTH?

On “Day One” of “Girl Time”, PW asks the little Pioneer Teen-gals what they should all do while the boys are away.  They say, “Work in the garden.” 

Does Ree seriously expect us to believe that these two American teenagers are actually picking USING a hoe over shopping like one? But somehow, Pioneer Woman has two daughters who prefer the land over the mall.  

It’s not that I’m against manual labor for kids, especially if they’re doing something that I’m supposed to do and now I don’t have to, BUT I’m against GIRLS ONLY manual labor in exactly the same way that I would be against an activity reserved only for boys. (Okay, the boys can have football, as long as the girls can be way ahead in college attendance.)

Ree leaves the girls slaving in the garden, while she starts the Pasta Primavera. She isn’t allowed to make this when the guys are around BECAUSE REAL MEN ONLY EAT MEAT. She should tell that to the arteries of her little boys in 40 years (heck TWENTY!) when there’s a problem. They DO get a lot of exercise, but does that counteract the effects of a complete lack of a plant-based diet?

The basic idea of Ree’s recipe is to sauté the vegetables in groups depending on their cooking time. Butter and oil go into the pan before each band of vegetables gets its turn. Carrots and broccoli go in first with a red pepper thrown in at the end. That gets put to one side and, after more butter and olive oil, the next bunch goes in – yellow squash, zucchini and mushrooms.

Ree tells us she’s so glad that she has daughters so she has automatic help in the garden every year. AHEM. Boys can weed too! “There’s something about country boys. They do NOT like helping with the garden. They just want to have grass everywhere…” I guess it’s for their roughhousing and wrasslin’ and tumbling around like BOYS do.

Ree removes the second group of vegetables. She adds more olive oil and more butter – we’re up to 6 tablespoons now – to the pan with half an onion and some garlic.

Next she adds wine, because she can’t do that “when her husband is around, because he can detect the slightest amount of wine in any recipe and who needs that hassle?” She adds just a little bit, because “her girls are joining” her. I wish she would make a project of sneaking as much wine as possible into everything her hubby eats. I think he could use some loosening up.* (See note at end.)

Ree adds chicken broth next and reduces it by half. We see the girls picking lots of basil (which Ree had requested) and putting it in a pretty woven basket. Lo and behold when they arrive at the house, they’re holding only a few sprigs in their hands. (Creative editing, I guess.)

Ree adds a ¼ cup of cream, seasonings and Parmesan and then frozen peas with the cooked vegetables and stirs that together. She says, “I just love it when my husband and boys go out of town. Just kidding, just kidding,” she hastily adds, lest we think she means it.

A bit more cheese and the chopped basil gets added to the pasta and Ree serves it up. Ree asks her girls what they should do with the 24 hours they have left until Daddy and the boys are back. They say (kind of under their breath and very well-rehearsed) “Gardening!” Ree is delighted.

The rest of the show is taken up with Ree forgetting about her special time with the girls and rushing around making sure everything is ready for the guys when they walk in the door.

She says since the guys will be home they need to bring the food “back down to earth”. Ummm, aren’t vegetables the most down to earth you can get…literally???!!!

Ree peels and deals with FIVE pounds of potatoes. She shows us different ways that she gets them into French fry shapes – with a knife; with a metal French fry molder; and a plastic box with blade assembly.

That last one is interesting. Ree puts the potatoes on top of a grid-like blade and then pushes down really hard. The potatoes get cut into perfect long fries as they fall into the box below.

Ree prefers this method because she says it allows her to get her aggressions out. Hmmm, interesting. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t see the plastic box that the French fries are trapped in as a metaphor for her own life, but I kind of do. (I may be reading more into all this than is warranted…but I like figuring out the esoteric meaning behind kitchen equipment.)

Ree soaks her potatoes while they wait to be cut and she soaks them after cutting them too...in order to remove excess starch. She’s still talking about how great her French fry cutter is. “There’s something strangely satisfying about getting all these aggressions out. I never knew I had such anger inside of me”  Wow! She’s really letting loose. See what happens when she’s man (and boy)less for a few days.

Back to the French fries, Ree says to soak them for at least 2 hours. It takes off the starches from the outside, she says, which can cause a problem when you fry them.

                         

Now she’s on a cooking countdown, because my, oh my, the guys will be home soon.

For the “fry sauce”, which is a sauce TO GO WITH THE FRIES, (lest you thought it was something more complicated) Ree mixes equal amounts of mayo and ketchup and calls it a day. I have no problem with that, but how about a bit of pickle juice and a chopped pickle? Oh wait, that might qualify as a vegetable and so the boys won’t eat it. Gawd!

Ree is apparently a proponent of the James Beard method of burgers. She adds a bit of heavy cream (with some Worcestershire sauce and seasoning) to her ground beef. She has 3 pounds of beef and she’s making SIX burgers, which, she proudly tells us, means that each burger will be a half pound each. I know there will be some shrinkage, but isn’t a burger that big kind of unnecessary?

Ree makes 6 identically-sized burgers, just by eyeballing it, which is kind of impressive. As she does that, she completely coats the griddle with butter and gets three buns going. Why do I think that the 3 buns made in advance (and, thus, not the freshly crisp and crusty ones) will be for her and the girls? And the boys will get the ones fresh off the grill…’cause they were away doing MAN things and they’re hungry!!!

Ree drains and dries the potatoes really well before frying. Next she is doing exactly the right thing. She follows the classic approach of twice-frying the potatoes in two different oil temperatures. The only thing that’s weird is that she acts like she invented the idea. She says she used to fry them in a single pot of oil and they didn’t come out right. Now that she gives them two fryings, they are perfect. Well, yeah, that’s how the French do it, and they know a thing or two about fine cookin'.

Ree fries the potatoes in vegetable oil first at 300°F for 5 minutes to soften them, but not to brown them. Then she raises the temperature to 400°F and fries them for a few minutes more. She does take them out a bit prematurely for my taste. (I like them browner.) But Ree makes the point that they continue cooking after coming out of the oil. She also reminds us to put hot oil on the back burner if you have kids around. 

She’s happy Ladd (Lance?) isn’t around because he always eats all the fries before she can serve them.

Ree cooks the burgers and tops them with cheddar. She sprinkles some sea salt on the fries and assembles the burgers on the “yummy buttery buns” and tops each one with a piece of bacon. Her timing is perfect, because, lookie here, the boys have JUST arrived. Ree yells Yay! Little Whoever He Is says “Hi Mama.” She piles the burgers on the plates with fries. Not even a tomater on the plate. I’d even count ketchup as a vegetable at this point.

The recipes list a Cantaloupe Granita. I don’t know where I was when she made that, but maybe I would have been in better mood if I’d seen a lovely finish to the meal. (PS Adding a bit of vodka to it would ensure that it didn’t freeze solid. Oh, but maybe Mr. Cow-Husband would object.)

So what have we learned? It’s more fun when the guys are away. (Can’t really disagree.) And gardening is the main thing to get accomplished during that precious time. (Couldn’t disagree more.) 

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*Note: I’ve really come a long way (or regressed you might say). Apparently, at one time, I was completely against Ree sneaking alcohol into Ladd’s food.  Now? Not so much. The kitchen appears to be the one place where Ree has a modicum of independence and I think she should do whatever she has to in order to hold on to her own identity…even if it’s a splash of vodka or wine here and there. A few shots probably wouldn’t hurt either.