Monday, November 2, 2009

Cake Boss - Sweet And Swamped

Cake Boss with Buddy Valastro

Candy, Crash & Crisis

Buddy is making a candy cake for Dylan Lauren, the daughter of Ralph, and owner of Manhattan candy store, Dylan's Candy Bar. Buddy has brought back tons of Dylan’s candy to use on the cake. The bakery folks want to get their hands on it. Buddy says not so fast. It’s for a cake. Buddy pronounces Dylan’s last name like Lore-WREN, but I believe that is incorrect. It’s pronounced LORE-en, with the emphasis one the first syllable.

We see the candy store and it IS awesome. Buddy is meeting with Dylan. She says Candy Land came to them to help celebrate its 60th birthday. She says it’s a really big deal for them. (I love Candy Land. Aside from everything else, it’s so pretty.) She’s happy because Candy Land was her inspiration for the store.

Buddy is soo funny as he listens to what Dylan wants on the cake. He’s amused because she’s describing the Candy Land characters as if they’re real people. (I didn’t even know Candy Land HAD characters.) He thinks she’s kind of whacked. He says (to us), “We don’t got no Gummy Bear forest in Hoboken, NJ”.

Buddy tells us that his Candy Land cake will be a big rectangle with two circular cakes on top. He’ll put the Candy Land road on, Dylan’s logo, lollipops and the characters that I (and apparently Buddy too) knew nothing about. And then they’ll finish it off with a bunch of candy.

Mauro counts the (29) bags of candy to make sure no one steals any. (I guess he’s “the enforcer”.) The “girls” are going to do the figures, Buddy, Mauro and Remy are doing the cakes. They put two huge rectangular cakes down on a board and cover them with French cream. I wonder if that’s Crème Chantilly, which is just a sweetened whipped cream, often flavored with vanilla. Dunno.

Then Buddy adds chopped up peanut butter cups. (I KNEW there was a reason I holding back some peanut butter cups from my Halloween basket.) They dirty-ice this MASSIVE cake.

Buddy goes to see how the figures are coming along. He says he has great artists working for him. (It takes one to know one, Cakeman.) Daniella is making the Cotton Candy Queen with modeling chaw-co-lot and fahn-dahnt. Toni is making an ice cream cone figure and Christina is making Chocolate, the bunny. Sunshine (Buddy calls her Sunch – cute) is making homemade candy gummy bears.

We see the sisters squeezed together downstairs handling millions pieces of paper. They’re all talking at once. Maddalena says Buddy needs someone JUST answering emails. Grace says they need to tawk to him calmly (not exactly their modis operandi).

They go up the stairs to the bakery and interrupt Buddy. Lisa tells him not to get twisted. Grace, the oldest sister, says he needs to hire an assistant. Buddy says, “Daddy never had an assistant.” Mary says she’s not a secretary, she doesn’t take messages, blabbady, blah, blah. Maddalena says, “Less stress on us will be less stress on you.”

Mary, her voice beginning to raise, “We’re here to help!”’ “I dunno,” says Buddy. Then they all start tawking at once and, finally, Cake Boss says, “Okay, find me an assistant.” Buddy says, “Grace, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” That is just so…I don’t know…brotherly. You gotta love a family that works together, plays together and eats cake (lots of it) together.

Buddy says how busy he is. We see him consulting with a couple on their wedding cake. (She looks like this may not have been her first time at the rodeo.) She wants a square, clean-cut (what does that mean?) cake, with maybe a red accent.

Buddy decides to make a 3 tiered chaw-co-lot cake with a chaw-co-lot mousse filling. YUM. “The simplicity of the tiers is what’s going to really make the stenciling pop.” He mixes deep red gel color into royal icing. He uses royal icing instead of buttercream, because it dries faster and better. He holds a stencil on the cake and spreads a red royal icing over it and, voila, there’s a beautiful design on it.

Buddy always supervises when they do this, so “it’s done right.” Buddy says he oversees all of the custom cakes and that they do them like an assembly line, to be more efficient. He tells us they get 50 or more specialty cake orders a week. WOW! He says they’re “the bread and butter” of the bakery and “We gotta crank them out”. He tells Stretch (wait, is that Ant?) to get his ass up to the bakery to pick up a cake to deliver.

The sistahs come in. They seem to travel in a pack. They bring up a personal assistant candidate, Tom, a young kid, to meet him. He stretches his hand out to shake Buddy’s hand and Buddy just sighs in an exasperated way.

The sisters think Tom is cute. They squoodge his face together and pinch his cheeks. They say they like him and that he’s smart. One of the sistahs says, “Tom, say something smart.” Tom says, “Your sisters are very beautiful.” They jump up and down with delight.

“If it’s gonna make my sistahs happy, I gotta give it a shot.” He tells TOM he has one chance. He says okay you start NOW. The sisters jump up and down. Buddy says that his sistahs better know that Tom is for HIM, not them! (10 seconds ago he didn’t even want an assistant.)

Buddy gets back to work on the Candy Land cake and in walks a kid, a little mini-Mauro. It’s Buddy Castano, Maddalena & Mauro’s son. He’s wearing chef’s whites and he sees the 29 bags of candy for the candy cake and goes, “OOOHHHH Dad, what’s this for?” Mauro says it’s for a candy cake they’re doing. “Can I have a piece? Can I? Can I? Can I? Mauro keeps saying no. Can I can I can I? NO! “Are you kidding?” “No, I’m not kidding.” “WHY?” Because it’s for a customer.

Buddy says when little Buddy sees the candy his friggin’ eyes popped out of his head. It was like he had never had candy before. This is funny. Little Buddy sees the cake and says, “I don’t think every single spot has to be covered with candy.” Mauro looks like he wants to bop him, but Buddy actually feels bad for the kid. The next thing we see is the kid chewing on something and walking away. (Is that what’s wrong with the yutes of America?)

Buddy (big Buddy) walks into an office (that we’ve never seen before) and Tom is sitting at a computer. He tells Tom that he wants to get him lunch and sends him off saying he wants it YESTERDAY!

The sisters waylay Tom on his way out to dust the windows or something. Uh-oh, I predict mayhem will erupt. Buddy keeps working on the Candy Land cake. It’s starting to look great.

The sistahs keep giving Tom things to do. He’s worried that Buddy will yell at him. Meanwhile upstairs, Mauro snitches some candy and tells everyone not to tell his son. The candy road goes on the cake. It looks great.

Buddy is unhappy when Tom never comes back. He goes looking for him and Buddy starts yelling when he sees him. The sistahs interfere and they all scream. Tom is scared of Buddy yelling at him. Mary says this is just how we tawk to each other. Buddy says he’s going to use Tom like a stick to beat them with.

He calls Ant-Knee to deliver stuff. Oh, so it wasn’t Stretch. Ant is telling us how delivering cakes can be challenging at the very same moment that he gets hit. He calls Buddy. Buddy is amazingly calm and just happy that noone was hurt.

Tom gets into it with the guy that backed into him. He’s worried that Buddy is going to kill him. Buddy comes and gets him and he isn’t quite so calm now. They all start screaming, but finally Buddy says it was an accident.

Buddy notes that the cake is all right, because he himself put it together.

Back at the bakery, they finish the Candy Land cake. It looks awesome Buddy says. The more candy they put on, the better it looks. It IS amazing.

As they deliver it, Buddy says the idea of the delivery is to get the cake into the car and to the venue as fast as possible without any traffic, without any delays, potholes or detours. He should have added without any accidents too. And WHY isn’t he using his van?

They hit something and something falls off the cake. Buddy and Mauro have to go back to the bakery and repair the cake.

Funny, there’s a commercial for Candy Land.

They run back and get all hands on deck. The whole bakery gasps when they see the cake. All the figures tumbled off and ripped off one side of the cake. The top two tiers have to be replaced. Buddy says the party is in an hour.

He tells us he’s going to put the characters and the lollipops on when they get there. They deliver the repaired cake, which looks just as perfect as the first one. Dylan loves it. The guests are amazed. It all goes off perfectly.

I wonder if we’ll ever see Tom again…

And I just realized why he wasn’t madder at Ant-Knee. Ant-Knee is family. If he had been some random person, Buddy probably would have gone ballistic, but family is what it’s all about to the Cake Boss.


Shays’ Rebel said...

I’m sort of confused. I watched this show twice, because the first time I dozed off during parts. Now, there was a fat little boy, Buddy, who I don’t think was Cake Boss’s son, but did you say he was Mauro’s son, whoever Mauro is?

Anyway, fat child Buddy (I don’t mean “fat,” I really mean “calorically challenged,” but, well….) Didn’t CC Buddy accompany a cake deliverer and acted like a real a-hole? Was I dreaming? Was it a different show? I remember one show featured a moving robot. Maybe I was just delirious because I was watching it on my brand new, 37 inch, pancake thin television! (I had to work that in; I’m so proud of it.)

Well, back in my day (I hate people who say “back in my day”), but back in my day that little boy would have been smacked around a bit.

I think what made me so sleepy was that while I was waiting for Cake Boss to come on, I watched that poor, poor, “why does everything happen to me?” special on the woman who has eight kids and I don’t care. Kate, yeah, that’s her name.

Oh, yeah, and there was a scene where Buddy roller bladed. I can tell I’m gonna have to watch this again because I think I missed a lot! I’m thinking there were two shows, but maybe not. Anyway, I love Buddy, and if it weren’t for that harpy Kate, talking about her "fans," I wouldn’t have been so sleepy.

Shays’ Rebel said...

Come to think of it, I may have watched (and just partly) a Cake Boss rerun that they show before the “new” Cake Boss episode. If that’s the case, never mind anything I said. It was still Kate’s fault, though.

Sue said...

I was trying to confuse you. This candy show was from last week. For some reason, they've been airing TWO new shows every Monday. The robot was a new show from last night. (I'll get to it soon!)

Buddy is Big Buddy's nephew. He's the spawn of Mauro, one of Buddy's bakery crew and Maddalena, his sister. Yeah, I know what you mean about back in the day, but somehow I think there was a producer whispering to "little" Buddy, "Nag your dad." "Nag your dad."

You would have done better watching some gory autopsy on Discovery or how to buy a thousand dollar slow cooker on HSN than Kate. Although you are fortunate it wasn't an hour with Jon.

The roller blading happened last night. I will definitely be getting to that too.

Sue said...

Hey SR,
I don't know why they are airing two new episodes a week. It makes an awful lot of work for some bloggers out there.