Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Cake Boss – A Fire Breathing Mother-In-Law And A Jewelry Bedecked Birthday Cake...SORRY! That Should Be The Other Way Around

Cake Boss

A Blindfold, A Bikini and Breathing Fire

We see scenes of the busy bakery. Lewis comes in for a crazy birthday cake. This year he wants a Tiki party – luau, flowers, fire eaters etc…just your usual tame little birthday shindig.

He tells Buddy he wants flames to come out of the cake. Buddy is taken aback…for only a second before coming up with his idea of a Tiki god with fire shooting out its mouth. We see Buddy on the phone negotiating with a fire “breather”. Wow, his job is multifaceted. The cake is for 125 people and will be made of alternating layers of chaw-co-lot and vanilla sponge with a truffle filling between the layers.

Buddy’s cousin Vinny, (does EVERY Eye-talian-American have a cousin Vinny?) strolls in – thick gold chain and all – and needs Buddy to make his fiancée’s bridal shower cake. He’s marrying Buddy’s wife’s sister, Daniella.

Buddy tells us about all the happy couples from Carla’s bakery: His parents, of course, and then in Buddy’s generation, there is Mauro and sister Madddaaalllennna, sister Grace and Joey, Lisa and Remy and Buddy and his wife, Lisa. And now Vinny and Daniella.

They decide on a suitcase theme and Buddy shows him pictures and it’s a done deal - 3 tiers in a pink fondant.

Buddy shows us an industrial mixer from 1925. Awesome. Then he takes a moment to listen to Mauro griping about all the work that has to be done. Buddy says all he’s doing is icing a cake, which is the easiest part. (Naturally the Cake Boss thinks it is).

Buddy says Mauro should be doing it like lightening and that he (Buddy) could do it blindfolded. Challenge proffered AND accepted. If Buddy CAN ice a cake blindfolded AND make an icing rose, Mauro has to hand out cupcakes in a grass-skirted hula outfit.

Mauro goes to grab the, surprisingly at hand, blindfold. What happens in that bakery when the cameras are off?

The entire bakery staff seems to have assembled in short order to watch…almost as IF this was planned...naaahhh, couldn’t be.

They get quite a show as Buddy performs his magic. He handles the turntable with ease and ices the cakes smoother and straighter with NO eyes than I could do with an EXTRA set (or two) of eyes. THEN (just to display his brilliance even more) Buddy holds a flower nail in his hand and darned if he doesn’t make an absolutely BEAUTIFUL rose AND place it on the cake, still blindfolded. Even Mauro has to give it to him.

Frankie brings back a shopping bag filled with hula supplies, including a grass skirt big enough to cover a Tiki god the size of a volcano. Mauro wears it with a coconut shell bra (the size of ear muffs), which is tied on with LOTS of extra string. He goes downstairs to the bakery and hands out cupcakes. Would you take one or would you run screaming from the huge man in a grass skirt? Maybe for cannoli I’d approach, but cupcakes? I’m not so sure. Mauro goes around asking the customers if they wanted to get lei’ed.

Buddy gets to work on the shower cake, which will be chaw-co-lot cake, with hazelnut filling and chaw-co-lot ganache. Fantastic.

Lisa, Buddy’s Mrs., and Buddy’s mom-in-law, Glawria, stroll in and wanna tawk about the shower cake. Apparently cousin Vinny wasn’t authorized to make the selection and they’re both appalled at the idea of a luggage cake. It doesn’t match the theme (jewelry?!!) at all. Horrors! Glawria wants what Glawria wants.

“Don’t these people communicate?” Buddy asks US. “Don’t they know that they shudda and came to me togedda?” Yeah! You tell them! But Buddy only protests feebly to Lisa and Glawria, because there’s no way he’s going to alienate Glawria. She seems to be in the same alpha female vein as Mama. So Buddy is stuck having to make another cake at the last minute. Imagine the groom thinking he could have some input!

Luckily, they can use the same basic tiers. Buddy tells us about Daniella, one of his decorators, who will be making the central element of the cake. Buddy finds a vintage jewelry holder in the shape of a bustier-ed and bustled female mannequin and Daniella will make an edible replica of it. She studied fine arts at school and using modeling chaw-co-lot to her is no different than using clay. I find that fascinating. Sunshine prints out edible decals which get put all over the cake. Gold paint is added for details.

Buddy moves on to the Tiki head. He has to build a wooden dowelled support structure to hold the HUGE head. They screw things in and add Rice Krispie treats underneath to make the head more stable. It is the size of a small mountain.

Buddy is proud of Daniella’s work. She is an amazing artist. To the jewelry cake, he adds a purse and shoe and lots of jewelry pieces, all made out of fahn-dant and modeling chaw-co-lot. It is superb looking.

They add torches to the corners of the Tiki cake platform. Buddy says he wants to test the cake to make sure it won’t melt when the guy breathes fire on it. He takes a spray can of…FIRE(?!!) or is that compressed air that he blows on a gas lighter type thing? Whatever. Frankie is ready with the fire extinguisher and Buddy puts some flames through the pipe that serves as the mouth. He judges it ready for prime time.

They deliver the cake to the Tiki party. The torches are all lit. Buddy greets Lewis with a big hug. Then he brings out the fire breather and the guy breathes - actually SPITS - fire through the hole in the Tiki god’s mouth. To tell you the truth it’s kind of gross. You can’t tell me that there isn’t plenty of saliva all over that cake. I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole…on fire or not.

The next scene is just as wild. Buddy’s sister in law’s HUGE bridal shower is more elaborate than most weddings. Mama, cousins, sisters, Glawria, of course, and the entire family are there. Buddy brings in the cake. It looks like it matches the (overly) ornate flocked wallpaper. Daniella is thrilled. She tastes the cake and loves it. Buddy and his team’s incredible work take the cake once again. Give me a choice between a spit-laden Tiki cake or a bedazzled purse and shoe, I’ll eat the shoe…everytime.

6 comments:

Nandini Vishwanath said...

Thsi show seems like fun! I want to see!!

What time does it come? TLC?

ChubbyChineseGirl said...

Sue, it's so encouraging to see you kept your blog. You inspired to me restart mine!

Sue said...

Nandini,
It IS fun to watch, although it does seem clear that many of the situations are kind of set up. But Buddy is charming and sooo talented.

CCG!!!
Welcome back! I'm so thrilled to hear from you. Yup, I've been here this ENTIRE time. Your latest restaurant reviews are wonderfully written. Great job.

ChubbyChineseGirl said...

Sue thank you so much for the encouragement and your kind words.

What is this Foodbuzz all about? I heard about the Townhouse event, hopefully I'll be able to make the list for the next event! =)

Making Recipe said...

so what time this show starts....nice blog tho...

Sue said...

Hey CCG,
Go to Foodbuzz and just start surfing around. Of course, there's fantastic blog posts you can read, but you can also check out what people are saying about the restaurants that you visit...and so much more.

Hi Making Recipe,
Cake Boss is on on Monday's on TLC at 10 pm on the East Coast. It's not on THIS Monday, though, and returns on August 10th. They play millions of reruns.