Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Cake Boss Bosses And The Sisters Rule

Okay, NOW we're talking! In this week's installment of Cake Boss, we get to meet Buddy's seemingly endless supply of sisters. There are Grace and Mary, Lisa, Magggdddeeellleeennnaaa, Lucy, Ethel and Cloris. Oh, maybe not, but close enough. 

Easter week sounds like it's the bakery's Black Friday. They are uber-busy with 2000(?!!) people in the store every day compared with two to three hundred. 

Mary (middle sister) and Lisa (youngest sister) complain that the CHALK-o-lit cupcakes stink. Buddy says not to insult the 300 pound, sensitive-as-a-little-girl baker that created them. The sisters storm out (actually they're kicked out) of the kitchen. THIS is good stuff. 

The problem MIGHT be that this little business has too many managers. Every sister has "manager" after her name. Did Mama tell Buddy to do that to keep the peace? I'm just saying there can only be one Big Cheese in the bakery. 

Cakes are being made all over the place, then Buddy has a consultation. It's a local charity needing a cake for THIS Saturday! Oh puleez! He agrees. It's all so fake. I get that this is a "reality" show, in other words, it's NOT REAL, but NO ONE would come in a few days before a holiday and demand a huge cake. Buddy would have said Fuhgeddaboudit! But on the show, he gets to work making bunny lips out of Fahn-DAHNT and modelling CHALK-o-lit.

Buddy tells us that the bakery is 99 years old and for all those years they've made a traditional Italian Easter bread called Casatelli (sp?), which is a braided yeast dough topped with hard boiled eggs. Yup, the cooked eggs go into the oven ON the bread. 

Buddy says some folks color the eggs, but they leave theirs white. Buddy is an absolute whiz at braiding and shaping the dough. He has the delicacy of ballet dancer in his short stubby fingers. I'm not kidding. He's got game!

BTW, I found this beautiful recipe, where the eggs ARE colored. Also, here they are placed on the bread dough uncooked, because they hard boil in the oven while the bread is cooking. Makes sense to me. 

Except for one thing...I do have to admit when I saw Buddy making this, all I could think of was the salmonella clinging to the eggshells getting all over the bread. So, I guess boiling the egg WOULD dispense with that problem, but then so would just cooking them in the oven, I suppose. 

Buddy goes upstairs to find that the Easter cake baking isn't going as quickly as he would have hoped. He grabs a piping bag, pipes icing in what looks like fast forward, then spreads another filling on and tops it with more cake...all in seconds. If ever there was a case for wanting something done right then do it yourself, this is it. We've seen his masterful decorating skills, but I have to say Buddy has it all - baker, shaper, all-around cake maker. He says they all have to "spit fire" this week. 

The Easter egg breads come out of the oven and the Nay-Sisters are at it again. Mary and Lisa say they look burnt. Uh-oh, they're hurting the feeling of another (rather hunky looking this time) baker. I hope he doesn't whack them, except I think he may be married to one of them.  (It turns out later, he's married to Grace.) 

Buddy puts together the bunny cake as if it hadn't been perfectly planned in advance. Kinda dumb. 

Oh goodie...more sister drama. Grace decides that for the first time, she wants to cook Easter dinner for the family. Oh come on, I know this is a reality show (hence not exactly real), but you are never going to convince me that the strong-willed women of this family don't have stuff like that planned out months, if not years, in advance. 

BTW, Grace is the OLDEST sister and guess what? She's ANOTHER manager. "I think youse are going to be pleasantly surprised" she says. They agree that dessert will be good...

Out of all this mayhem, Buddy whips up 3 gorgeous birthday cakes for 3 family members. I liked the flower pot one with tulips for his mom the best.

It was a really realistic replica of a flower pot with CHALK-o-lit crunchies for the dirt and beautiful flowers made from gum paste. 

Buddy could have been a Renoir if he hadn't been born in a bakery. He really is an artist. 

Buddy's Flowers:

Now look at Renoir's flowers.

Next are are some shenanigans with big Frankie dressed as a bunny, handing out brownies. The worst part was that the people on the street didn't seem to even notice his costume AND they didn't care about the BROWNIES!!! Were they crazy? I guess if I saw a large sweating man in pink brandishing a carrot and handing out food, I might pass too. (Actually, it was the dirty apron that offended me the most.) 

Ooh, we see sister Maggdddeeellliiinnaaa for the first time. Where have they been hiding her? The sisters agree that Grace's Easter dinner will be long as they all eat before they go. 

More cake drama, the icing for the Easter cake's bunny falls off minutes before they have to deliver it. Not for one second do I believe that all is lost. Of course, the group comes to the rescue. It's all good. The cake is delivered in one piece and the kids are happy. 

THAT is so not realistic. In real life, someone would have paid hundreds (thousands?) of dollars for that cake. It would have been f'ed up and the baker wouldn't have cared. But this is good guy, Buddy. There are no fuhgeddaboudits here on reality tv, where if they want something to work out, it does. 

Back at Grace's, she's swilling wine and staring at her to-do list. She has a nice kitchen, at least. She sets off her smoke detectors as she cooks. Well, who hasn't done that? We see her pouring ginger ale over a ham (?) or turkey(?). For all I know, THAT'S the punch. Folks arrive. Someone is eating a bread stick with prosciutto or perhaps that's a cigar. They're not lingering over the food shots now. 

Buddy arrives, They're pretty careful about NOT showing HIS wife too clearly. Buddy helps out in the kitchen and afterwards says dinner wasn't too horrible. Buddy brings out the 3 birthday cakes and says, "I want the three of yuse to blow out your candles," as the credits roll. 

Good job, Buddy. You baked a prodigious amount of cakes. The miracle of Easter has been celebrated and the sistahs have left everyone's feelings intact...for the moment.


The Short (dis)Order Cook said...

Are you sure there is only one big cheeseCAKE in a bakery?
I never knew Easter bread was called that in Italian. My family always called it “Easter Bread”. I can remember one time my mother actually baked it herself and even colored the eggs in it. These days it’s strictly store bought.
I know I certainly don’t decide I want to host a holiday on the fly. That kind of thing take MONTHS of planning. Who are these people?
If someone were offering me free brownies I think I wouldn’t care if there was blood on his apron and he was wearing bunny ears and nothing else.

Sue said...

Okay, Rachel,
Next time I'm going to send you my post ahead of're going to comment and then I'm going to steal your comments and incorporate them into my post and everyone will think I am the funniest, laugh out loud thing on earth. Would that be okay with you?

AND I REALLY don't think that you would be concentrating on the brownies if Frankie had only the bunny ears on...

It never occurred to me that that was BLOOD on his apron, but NOW that's all I see! I can't fuhgeddaboudit.

Tom said...

Hi Sue,

I had to laugh when I read this one! But as someone who gets hit up for a lot of wine donations, I can tell you that it often happens at the very last minute. These events are almost always organized by volunteers who may not know how much time is needed, or it may have slipped their minds because they have a thousand other things to do. Happens all the time. There are two other possibilities too: either their original donor/baker backed out and they're stuck, or it's a calculated decision on the charity's part because they may get a sympathy donation if it's a last minute thing (I'm so sorry, could you please help me out, blah blah). Both of these have happened to me more than once. The last one is especially annoying because it's so transparent. This happened to me about a month ago, and the person then started talking about their large mailing list and how it would be a "win-win." I had to tell her that the name was perfectly right because she'd win twice and my company not at all!


Sue said...

Okay, Tom,
Maybe you're right and maybe those people just strolled into the bakery to ask for a HUGE cake to be made a few days later and there HAPPENED to be a camera crew there to capture Buddy's reaction. But...I don't really think so.

I totally agree with you about the wingnuts (I've been watching Juno too much) planning events and how disorganized they are.

I love your winwin response. Of course, a good cause is a good cause and we should always support them in we can. Ladeedah.

Anonymous said...

Cake boss not only comes across as is 100% FAKE! The last episode starred a friend of mine…she was acting. She told us that they hired her to act as a East side socialite. What a crock. Anyone who watches this show is wasting their time. I have no respect for a man who has to hire people to buy his cakes.

Zach said...

I agree with the poster who said this show is 100% fact. I can't being to name the times I have seen things happen in the show and was left thinking I just watched 30 mins of acting or paid actors. From the cake falling down the stairs (watch it again and see how deliberately it was done), to the part where he gets so angry at the cake throws a temper and smashes it apart. Or when his mom gets so mad at him for riding a motorcycle, she just happened to be waiting out back at the exact moment he came back on the bike. No one I know can stand this show, and I hope its on its last legs ad they are making a famous moron out of this tool.

Sue said...

Hiya Zach,
I kind of see where you're coming from, but Cake Boss isn't on CNN or even the National Geographic channel, so who says it has to be real? What IS real is Buddy's crazy family and Mama yelling all the time. I just can't get enough of it.

Endless Nameless said...

I liked the approach in this blog for the show. Instead of criticize it because of being staged or fake, you embraced it as a great entertainment, and enjoyed it because it is fun.

Although some parts are difficult for me to watch because they are too much fake... the overall show is well done.

Sue said...

Hi E.N.,

I LOVE Buddy. I don't care how staged the Cake Boss is. I just want to see Buddy interact with his wild sisters. Mama is a lot of fun too!