Sunday, January 6, 2008

Ingrid Lite

Simply Delicioso with Ingrid Hoffmann

Spa Day
Yellow Quinoa
Yummy Avocado Sopita
Grilled Mahi-Mahi with Black Bean Salsa
Roasted Pineapple with Whipped Cream

Good, they cut the frozen-friend business at the beginning. And Ingrid seems a bit toned down, as well. Less makeup, no cleavage, less-blond hair. Interesting. I like it actually. She's doing a lighter menu to give herself and her friends a spa day, beginning with avocado soup.

She tells us her trick of freezing an onion for 30 minutes before chopping it to avoid the tears. She slices it and adds it to a pan with...butter? Huh? I thought this was a light menu. Not that you can't use butter if you're watching things, but it's probably not the first choice. She adds salt, pepper, 2 smashed garlic cloves and a big hunk of dill. She cooks the mixture for 5 to 7 minutes until "nice and soft". If you actually want them "nice and soft", you'll need to cook them longer.

She adds avocados to the blender with 2 1/2 cups of 2% milk. WHY is she using milk in the first place? Why is she using TWO percent milk? And why isn't she just using calorie and fat-free stock? I guess I could see adding a half cup or so of milk, if she wanted to give the soup a smoother feel without cream, but ONLY milk. I don't think so. I guess her new look isn't affecting her lousy recipes.

She adds the cooked vegetables to the blender mixture and blends it until completely smooth. She refrigerates it in the BLENDER. Well, that's something new. I have NEVER done that or even seen it done.

She's cooking quinoa. If she says the word quinoa (pronounced Keen-Wah) one more time, I'll scream. She adds 2 1/2 cups water and salt to 1 cup of quinoa and cooks it for 20 minutes.

Next she makes a marinade for mahi-mahi. She mixes 1/2 cup soy sauce, 1/2 cup orange juice, 1/4 cup ketchup, a tablespoon of honey and fresh oregano in a plastic baggie that she has sitting in a measuring cup. Not a bad idea, I've done that...She adds chopped basil, garlic and lime juice and mixes it all together. She adds 4 pieces of 7 to 8 oz mahi-mahi.

Then we watch Ingrid wash her hands. (Well, it's better than watching her NOT wash her hands.) She puts it in the fridge for no longer than 45 minutes she says, because the acid could cook the fish. My rule is 30 minutes.

For a salsa type dish, Ingrid chops cherry tomatoes and scallions. She adds lime juice, salt pepper and cilantro. She gives canned black beans "a shower", so "WE control the sodium, not the can."

She chops a jalapeno, telling us to get rid of the veins and the seeds, where all the heat lies. (Uh-oh. I know someone who would have an issue with that.) She mixes the black beans in with the tomatoes and scallions, covers it and leaves it at room temperature.

She shows us the cooked quinoa.

Commercial break. Note to Food Network folks - Having a commercial for a toilet cleaner does not enhance the experience of watching food tv.

Ingrid drinks water into which she's infused cucumbers. Ick. She chops an onion and adds it to a pan with olive oil and butter (again?). She "finely juliennes" a green pepper...well, not exactly...and adds that. She stirs in 1 tablespoon of her homemade adobo spice. The ingredients include parsley flakes. Yeah, nothing says fresh like powdery parsley flakes. She adds garlic, canned green chilies and parsley, fresh this time. She stirs in the quinoa with a wooden spoon. NO, don't use that. It will mash it. Use a fork or metal spoon.

Ingrid removes the mahi-mahi fillets from the marinade. She brushes them with oil and puts them on a hot grill...for 12 minutes.

She saut├ęs rock shrimp in olive oil as a garnish for the soup. She tells us her trick for knowing when they're done. They form the shape of a C for cooked. O means overcooked. She pours soup in pretty green bowls, oh, and just to make it even healthier, she pours over MORE olive oil. That's some spa she's getting these recipes from. She sprinkles over toasted sesame seeds and little basil leaves along with the shrimp. It looks good, but particularly light?...I don't think so.

She flips the fish.

Oh, good, no toilet brush commercial, just a graphic one for acne cream. What ever happened to RR shilling crackers?

She serves the soup and the mahi-mahi with black bean salsa. Her gal pals are impressed.

She goes back into the kitchen (hey, Tracy, just like Ina) to prepare dessert. She sprays "buttered flavored spray" into a baking dish. No, I'm not kidding. She arranges bought pineapple slices over and rubs browns sugar on both sides. She puts them on a hot grill. (I hope she cleaned off the fish really well.) She whips 1 cup heavy cream with HALF A CUP of confectioner's sugar. Whah???!! What about that is spa-like? Nothing! She adds 2 tablespoons of rum (to boost its curative powers perhaps?). She serves the girls, offering more whipped cream at the end.

Well, Ingrid did seem a bit less wacky than usual, but avocado soup and whipped cream for dessert aren't exactly the way I would have gone for spa cuisine. But I guess if it got rid of some her Ingrid-isms, it was worth it.


Emiline said...

So, shrimp form the shape of a C when cooked...and they form the shape of an O when overcooked.
Hold on a second...let me process this in my head. I..must..remember this in the future.

I'm with you- I don't consider a lot of olive oil, healthy. I definitely don't consider heavy whipping cream healthy.

Kathy said...

I don't know what bothers me more; the butter, oil, avocado, powder sugar and heavy cream on a spa menu or the ketchup on that marinade. Either way, Sue do not cross to the dark side _ Ingrid still sucks! :) Once again thanks for a great blog.
Toilet cleaner in the comercial, thank God for Tivo!

The Short (dis)Order Cook said...

Why is it there is this new belief that monounsaturated = calorie free?

Tracy said...

Heh heh ... you know I love a food host leaving their guests to cook something. I am going to Tivo EVERY episode of Ina to prove to you that she does that! Not that I don't love Ina. She's ever so much cooler than Ingrid.

As for Ingrid and her whipping cream, hasn't she heard of Lite Cool Whip? ;-)

Sue said...

You're funny, Em.

You're right. I guess I was just so relieved that she downplayed a lot of her usual nonsense, that I was feeling charitable. I'm sure it won't last.

Her menu was so clearly NOT spa cuisine that it was weird.

You know, Tracy, it IS funny that she makes cooking ahead one of her cardinal rules, but I guess plating something is different than full-on cooking, like she did with her pain perdu. But I particularly like it when she brings Frank or someone else in (NEVER Jeffrey) to help her carve and then she ends up doing it anyway.

Colombiana said...

Hi Sue,
Thank you for your very entertaining AND accurate blogs about Ingrid. I have thoroughly enjoyed them! I happen to have met Ingrid many years ago (I live in Miami,) and she is even worse than imaginable. Her past is nothing to be proud of- got A LOT of dirt on "la chica...." and it is "no muy lindo!"
INGIRD SUCKS and as far as I know has never been into cooking, entertaining or anything similar...INGRID IS A FAKE in soooo many ways. !

Sue said...

Wow, Colombiana,
And I was only talking about her COOKING! Interesting tidbits...

Anonymous said...

columbiana is obviously jealous of ingrid...whatsamatta dear? ingrid dis you somwhere along the way??