Wednesday, January 2, 2008

5 Ways To Look Like Giada

Oh, sorry, the story on The Today Show this morning was 5 ways to be a better cook, but, frankly, the tips from my title would have been more useful, except for one authentically great tip. I'll give the others first.

Earlier in the show, Giada showed us how to peel a pineapple. The camera work was poor and she dropped the peel on the ground, which I found endearing, actually.

Later, she showed us how to peel garlic, using a rubber tube (she called it plastic), which I've been using for years. She admitted she had never used it until this morning...then WHY WAS SHE SHOWING US THAT? Dumb! She also showed us the real way she does it, banging it with the flat edge of a knife.

The next cooking dilemma addressed was an acidic tomato sauce. Is that really a major predicament that folks have? The oldest trick in the book is to add a pinch of sugar. Giada peeled some big hunks of carrots and put those in. I've often seen her adding chopped carrots to a tomato sauce, which would be a lot more sensible than an oversized lump of carrot.

She showed us how not to cry from a onion. She cut the ends off and then peeled it under running water. I have NEVER seen her do that on her show and maybe we don't all want wet onions.

This next one was a doozy. To get moist brownies (WHO has a problem with that? Just use a decent recipe and don't overcook them), she adds SODA (albeit fancy Italian soda) to BROWNIE MIX! Giada, your first problem is the brownie mix!!! Do whatever you want in the privacy of your home, but don't go showing us brownie mixes mixed with orange soda in the magnificent demonstration kitchen on the Today Show!!!

Anyway, she likes the orange flavor with the chocolate and sometimes she uses cherry soda. Her husband likes Coke, which can only lead me to believe that she's making this brownie mix every other day because she has so many variations.

The other brownie tip is to prevent them from getting hard. She says not to cut them when they're hot, because you let all the moisture escape. I can't decide if that makes any sense. Does steam escaping from one corner of a brownie pan really effect a brownie 8 inches away? Where is Alton when we need him?

Other tips:
Put hard brown sugar in the microwave covered with plastic wrap (I NEVER cover anything with plastic in the microwave. I use a glass lid or wax paper) for 30 seconds to revive it.

If you're refrigerating a layer cake in its box, put a cut apple in with it to keep the cake moist. (Is this really a pressing problem for people?)

But the tip that WAS useful was this:
Spray the metal blade of your food processor with Pam before using it, so food won't stick to it. (She also reminded us to do that when measuring honey.) THAT is an excellent idea. The way I get gunge off my blade is to empty the food pro of as much of the processed ingredients as I can get to easily. Then I put it back together and pulse it one more time. THAT will clean the blade off beautifully.

Well, I guess if we can't LOOK like her, we can cook like her, except for the brownie mix part...


Tracy said...

Did they mention that Giada is pregnant? I saw an article that said she's due in April. I told my husband, knowing what he'd say:
"Does that mean her boobs will get bigger?"

Emiline said...

Sadly the answer is, yes, Tracy. They will become bigger, and Giada will aquire 5 additional TV shows.

All of these tips were just weird. I don't think I'd follow any of them. Except for the PAM thing.
I've never had hard dry brownies. It's too difficult to slice hot brownies. You won't get a clean cut. It's not to keep the moisture in.

Heather said...

You're not going to like this, but I have a confession to make...

I hate Giada. The sound of her voice, her bobblehead, and the way she opens her cavernous mouth as far as it will possibly go when she forms even the simpliest of words drives me insane. I don't know if you've seen a clip of South Park, but it reminds me of the way they animate Canadians. No offense to Canadians intended. Some of my best friends are ...

I know she speaks Italian, but I'm not jazzed by the way she has to introduce every blessed food item in annunciated Italian - "Parmigiano-Reggiano", "brew-sket-TA!", "Pro ZSUT - TOE!" - would it kill her just to say Parmesan? Does she have to spend a half and hour wrapping her mouth around every sylabble of evry word? I'm fairly certain we all know she pays $20 a pound for the good stuff, but we get the point. I know prosciutto is an italian ham. Stop explaining. Drop the accent.

Maybe now that she's with child she's reel in her ta ta's a bit and stop trying to shake them out of her top in FN's answer to soft-core porn.

End of rant. I hope we can still be friends, though. (Hey, I LOVE Ina!)

Sue said...

Hi Tracy,
I suspect that everybody’s husband had the same reaction. Sigh…

You’re so right!

About the brownies too. What a weird thing to have her say about brownies. I guess that’s what happens when you use more and more mixes.

Hi Heather,
The picture of her on the cover of Redbook is exactly what you’re talking about. It completely looks like a cartoon. From the look of things, I don’t see any let-up in the chest chasm category.

And you forgot my favorite word (NOT!) of hers - Spaaaaaaahhhh - Giiiiiiiiiiit - Teeee.

Now if you hated BOTH Giada AND Ina, that would be a problem, but I can live with your antipathy to Giada. Maybe there are quite a few people that I can't stand that you would just love. Vive la difference! (And that wasn't in Italian.)

Tracy said...

Oh yeah, my husband also likes to imitate her. "Now we'll use some par-ma-SIANNO re-gi-ANNO..." OK, it's hard to type it but you get what I mean. So he doesn't ONLY stare at her boobs. He actually remembers something that came out of her mouth.

It's actually a shame, considering she's a trained chef, that she's known for her boobs.

Sue said...

Hi Tracy,
Let's just hope the college boys that are drooling over her are actually learning a few things about cooking...

Michael said...

I can think of 5 ways to like Giada!