Happy New Year!!!

Wow, who would have thunk it? New Year’s Eve again? I have to say a big thank you to everyone who has clicked on these pages in the last year and beyond. Without you, this blog is like a tree in the forest falling silently…or however that goes.

To all of you that I’ve been lucky enough to connect with through comments, emails, tweets and even phone calls, a special thank you for reaching out…and letting me do the same. THAT’S the greatest thing about blogging.

Most of all, I want to wish you all a Healthy New Year. Without that, nothing else much matters. Take care of yourselves and the people around you, so you can have the most wonderful new year possible.

Now, how in the world can you make this eggnog recipe fit into a healthy lifestyle? By making it exactly once a year! Enjoy and have a Happy, Healthy and Delicious New Year!

Ahhh, Don’t You Just Love Christmas?

The beautiful tree…The presents…The special dinner…with wonderful champagne…The blood…The emergency room.

All I can say is…the best laid plans…

It all started well enough. Just a lovely, lazy day…until I went into the kitchen. Actually, that was going okay too.

The soup was finished...

I had made the custard for the floating islands the day before. I made the meringue that morning. The recipe is at the end of this post.

I had softened onions and added spinach for stuffing.

Then I started on the boning of a nice big chicken, which I was going to stuff with the spinach mixture, roll up and tie tightly, then roast it and serve in it slices.

Don’t read this next bit if you’re squeamish.

Unfortunately, I had a run-in with a pair of kitchen scissors. As I was cutting through one of the bones on the chicken, I actually snipped right through my finger – my pinkie on my left hand. I immediately thought, I am NOT going to pull a Jamie, so I took paper towels (lots of them) and stemmed the flow (a bit) and got two bandaids on REALLY tight. I used compression and held it above my heart and it seemed to stop.

I went on with things for a while. The incompletely-boned chicken I decided would become butterflied chicken. I got that into the oven and I simmered the beginnings of the spinach stuffing in cream and called it creamed spinach. I even began the risotto.

Then I realized that the bleeding really wasn’t stopping. I took off the bandaids and it REALLY wasn’t stopping, so I summoned H and said perhaps we needed to make a little trip to the hospital. Right before we left, the chicken came out of the oven and was wrapped tightly in foil.

At the hospital, I learned that there had been many “lacerations” that day, all from preparing Christmas dinner. Someone had stabbed herself drying her knife; someone had had a rather serious run-in with a mandolin; there WAS a person who had fallen off her horse, but that was incidental to Christmas. I was the only one who had done the deed with scissors, so I felt a bit special and happy that no one could criticize my knife skills.

FOUR stitches plus one tetanus shot later...we were on our way home.

(See? I wasn’t faking and we’re talking about a tiny pinkie.)

The kids had heated up what they were supposed to and put the chicken into a hot oven for 10 minutes. Actually, (somehow) it was perfectly cooked.

The best part? The champagne, lots of it, which didn’t seem to hit me as quickly as it usually does.

I recommend it after every hospital visit.

So, ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas and please don’t become a statistic of careless kitchen deeds, like I was.

Floating Islands (serves 6, generously)

Printable recipe here

Meringue

8 whites

1 tsp. cream of tartar

1 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 250°F. Butter and sugar (very well) a large soufflé dish (about 8 cups).

Beat whites until frothy on medium speed. Add cream of tartar. Beat on high speed just until soft peaks form. Add the sugar by tablespoons, turning down the speed just as you add the sugar and then returning the mixer to high. Beat until very stiff and glossy.

Put into prepared baking dish. Bake in preheated oven for 35 minutes, or until skewer comes out clean. Cool on counter. Meringue will fall…a lot. Cool, cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. It may be baked early in the day for that night.

Prepare custard.

Custard

3 cups milk (1% is fine)

2 cups heavy cream

6 yolks

¾ cup plus 2 tbls. sugar (see note)

2 tsps. vanilla extract

Bring milk and cream just to the boil in a medium saucepan.

Beat yolks and sugar until pale yellow with mixer. SLOWLY, beat ½ cup hot milk and cream mixture into yolks. Keep beating. Slowly, pour in remaining hot milk and cream, whisking all the time. Rinse out saucepan and return mixture to it.

Cook over medium heat, stirring all the time, until custard measures 180°F on a candy thermometer. Strain mixture through sieve into clean bowl. Cool to room temperature and add vanilla extract. Chill for at least an hour. Overnight is fine too.

To serve, cut meringue into fat wedges and place each in shallow bowl. Pour custard around meringue. Serve immediately.

Note: One cup of sugar is a bit too sweet. ¾ cup isn’t quite sweet enough, so this is 2 tablespoons shy of a cup.

Top Chef All-Stars - Cooking And Competing On A Tennis Court

Top Chef All-Stars - Advantage Chef

The chefs head to the bar. Why does it look like they’re drinking coffee? Casey misses Dale. Tiffani is really short. I mean in stature, not in temperament. (My) Dale says he can’t think about the win (last week), he has to move on to the next thing.

Padma is in the kitchen with Tony Mantuano. I liked him on Top Chef Masters.

The Quickfire Challenge is to make stuffing. They’re calling it the “Swanson great stuffing debate: create a stuffing to win the debate.”

Whoop-dee-doo. THAT is sooooooo easy. I would just make this one. The only thing is I don’t use Swanson broth. On Thanksgiving, I use the turkey stock that’s simmering on the back of my stove.

Oh, there’s a twist to the Quickfire. They’re taking away the chefs’ knives and all their utensils. Well, it’s not they’re making a soufflé and expecting them to beat the whites with their hands. Maybe that’s not SO bad, but can they use their teeth to rip things in small pieces? Probably not. The winner gets immunity and $20,000. That’s one heck of a stuffing. They have 45 minutes to cook.

Carla is starting with quinoa. Casey is making an Asian stuffing.

Fabio compares a chef cooking without tools to a surgeon doing open heart surgery with “only his finger”. Fabio runs his parmesan cheese over the metal shelving of a bakers rack to grate it. He calls it genius, except what if it’s covered in dust? Or how does he know that rack hasn’t been cleaned with bleach. Ick.

Carla is hitting an onion with a frying pan. Tre is smart to freeze everything so it can be smashed into small pieces. This whole thing is kind of dumb.

These are the dishes. Tony says, “Very nice” to Jamie’s quasi matzo ball in a “fortified broth”.

Carla is funny. She calls her undercooked quinoa Un-Dente. She tells us that it’s not a $20,000 dish. It’s not even a 20 cent dish and then she asks Tony if he needs some floss. He laughs.

Spike tells Tony he used lemongrass spears to plate up his food. Tony says, ”Ingenious.” He says, “Great” to Richard’s stuffed onion. And Tony seems to really like Tre’s southwest cheesy bread pudding. “It’s got a nice kick to it.”

Dale’s sounds intriguing - Crab and oyster stuffing with olives.

Fabio’s polenta looks good and he tells Tony about his cheese grating method.

Least favorites – Carla’s quinoa was undercooked. Tiffani F’s stuffing was “overly sweet”, which she knew. Casey’s came off “as a plated appetizer”, not as a stuffing, according to Tony.

The best - Tre’s – “Well-balanced in its spiciness”; and Marcel’s. Tony liked Marcel’s stuffing and the bird he stuffed it into. (How did he even have the time to do that?) Which one wins immunity and all that dough? Tre! He is totally thrilled. He runs up and hugs Tony and Padma.

The Elimination Challenge is to cook at the US Open. They pick tennis balls to choose teams. They’re playing “culinary tennis”. Each chef has to make a healthy dish and then serve it head to head against a chef from the other team. Each dish that wins earns a point for the team. The first team to get to four points wins. Goodness! How long did it take them to think of this?

The two teams confer back at the house about strategy. The yellow team thinks they should put their weakest dish first against the other team’s strongest dish. Who’s going to determine which is the weakest?

Jamie wants to stay out of trouble and not get involved in any strategy planning. We’re seeing a lot of Jamie this week. Is that a sign that she’ll be gone?

They shop and the next day they go to the US Open challenge. They’re all talking about how they want to make healthy food for athletes. Antonia says she was never athletic in high school, she just smoked a lot of weed.

Fabio is making gnocchi again and makes it all by hand because he doesn’t have the proper equipment.

Casey is excited by her farro. Jamie is having a problem with her chickpeas. Angelo checks his mackerel and decides it’s too slimy to use. He asks Tre for some of his fish, Tre suggests Angelo use some of Tiffany’s tuna. She’s not into all the game playing, so she says fine.

Tom comes in and asks Jamie if her team has a strategy. Jamie says she can’t divulge it. Tiffani F. also says she can’t talk about it, but the loose-lipped, Chatty Cathy Spike and Angelo spill it immediately. They say they’re putting out their worst dish first. They assume the other team will start strong, perhaps with Richard’s dish, and thus the other team will have “wasted” its best dish. Tom smirks when he hears it. Actually, Tom always smirks, so it’s hard to know what he thinks about their strategy.

Carla cuts her finger BADLY….half her fingernail comes off. Dale is in awe of how she “manned up” and just wants to get it bandaged up and get on with her cooking.

Antonia reminds us of Jamie cutting her finger and going off to the hospital for two mingy stitches. I really do not hold that against Jamie, since she had no idea at the time that it wasn’t more serious. Carla thinks that since she (Carla) cut OFF part of her finger, there’s nothing to stitch up, so why leave the kitchen? She covers her hand with a huge glove.

Jamie’s chickpeas are still not done. Spike tastes his shrimp and they’re not good, so he cooks another batch really quickly without seasoning them as much as he would have liked.

They go out to the court…I’m told by the tennis expert in my house that that’s the Armstrong court, the second show court at the U.S. Open. Marcel says that when he stepped out onto the tennis courts, he felt like a gladiator entering an arena.

Spike, Jamie, Angelo, Tre, Tiffany, Tiffani, Casey and Spike are the yellow team. The others are the orange team.

The chefs (the male ones in particular) are sooo into this competition. Jamie is still not sure if her chickpeas will be done. They find out that Fabio is going first for the other team and they think his dish will be good. Spike, in particular, thinks Jamie should definitely go first with her uncooked chickpeas. She refuses, because she wants more time to get her chickpeas soft.

Casey finally volunteers. Spike is incredulous that Jamie isn’t going and their strategy is going to pot. (Sorry, Antonia, not literally.)

The judges are tennis player Taylor Dent, Tom, Padma, Gail and Tony. They all love Fabio’s whole wheat gnocchi. He wins the round. He goes WILD.

Marcel wants to go second, but Dale’s edamame dumplings need to be served now, so the orange team’s Dale goes against Tiffani F. “Two strong dishes,” says Tom. Padma prefers Dale’s dish, but the rest vote for Tiffani. So each team has one point. The chefs go wild…again.

The next pairing is Angelo against Marcel. Taylor loves them both, but the rest like Angelo’s dish better. He goes REALLY wild. Angelo jumps on Tre in jubilation. Marcel is po’ed and can’t believe that Angelo wins by presenting his food on a spoon once again. I don’t really remember him always doing that.

We’re seeing a lot more of the yellow team, so clearly they’re going to lose. They keep struggling over who should go next. Jamie says (to us) that she’s happy that Angelo won and they may get enough points to win without her having to go at all.

Tiffany is up against Antonia. The judges are pretty divided and Antonia wins. Her team goes pretty crazy too.

Richard is up against Spike, which Spike is not happy about. Angelo keeps putting his two cents (and some yuzu gelée) into Spike’s dish…which doesn’t make Spike happy.

Tony says neither protein was good in either dish, but that Richard’s tabboleh saved him. They really hate Spike’s shrimp and so Richard wins. Mike and Dale are completely beside themselves. Spike is “extremely upset” because Jamie is nowhere to be found. There’s a shot of her kind of pretending to do something behind (and under) a table, but it’s clear she’s trying to hide to prevent herself from having to go.

Team Orange is one point from winning. Orange’s Carla goes next against Tre. Casey’s not happy that it’s Tre, because he has immunity and if he loses he can’t go home, so there’s a greater chance that the other losers will go home.

Tre says Angelo asks if he can do anything for him and Tre tells him he can cook his fish. Why are they telling us this? I guess because Angelo ruins Tre’s dish, maybe.

Carla’s peanut soup, which no one on her team liked, beats Tre’s dish, but the only one who dissed Tre’s salmon was Gail, who said it was a bit overcooked. The others just really liked Carla’s soup. She hoots it up after she wins. Her teammates jump over barriers to get to her.

Spike is really mad that they didn’t follow his strategy. Tiffany says (to us) that his strategy was stupid. Jamie says (to us) that she just dodged a bullet and she SAYS she didn’t plan it that way, it just happened. Yeah, it just happened by her refusing to go and take a bullet for the team and hiding under the tablecloth so she wouldn’t go.

They show a bit in the stew room of the chefs dancing and Mike Isabella being really goofy. I don’t think he’s acting, though.

Mike asks if Jamie is upset that she didn’t get to go. She says yes and no, because she was sorry she didn’t get to present her food. Yeah, sure she was. Spike is still po’ed and says Jamie should have gone first. He tells us that because she had the worst dish, she should be up for elimination. That’s hard to argue with.

Padma comes out in short shorts and asks to see Richard, Fabio, Carla and Antonia. They are the winners.

The winner gets a trip to Italy. Padma asks about their strategy. Richard says their strength was they didn’t HAVE a strategy. The judges loved all the food. They don’t say anything bad about Richard’s lamb. And the winner is Carla!!! Oh goodie. And I think everyone is pretty happy for her. It’s hard not to be. She’s so great. She comes out hooting to the stew room.

All the yellow team’s chefs who lost a point go in, in other words, NOT JAMIE. Meanwhile, out in the stew room, Richard gives it to her and says,”JAMIE, you’ve got a story going now.” She says she’s insulted by what he’s saying. He says “It’s an ODD story.” Jamie asks, “Because I haven’t cooked?” EXACTLY…and for two weeks in a row.

The losing chefs are in front of the judges and Padma asks about strategy. Spike tells them about how they basically didn’t follow their plan and that other people had their hands in his dish (like Angelo).

Tony tells Tre his salmon was overcooked.

We see in the previews that Padma says to Casey that her “hearty grain was hard to digest”. Casey almost sounds like she’s going to pull a Jen and says “It was MEANT to be hearty.”

Back in the stew room while the judges deliberate, Spike says he should have told the other chefs to keep their hands off his dish. Tiffany says at the end of the day, they’re all responsible for their own dishes.

The judges discuss. It’s hard to know which dish they disliked the most.

The chefs come back in. And it’s…Spike. That doesn’t seem that fair, given all their comments. They liked his soup, just not his underseasoned shrimp.

Do you think it was fair that Spike got sent home? I don’t and neither does he. He says he got screwed and that “some people's” strategy was just not to serve their food. And other people’s strategy was to screw up other chefs’ food. He says (to us), “Jamie, this is a competition and at some point you’re going to have to compete.” True, very true. He says he still thinks he’s the best of the best.

Jamie was off the hook two weeks in a row and that begins to raise some questions. The first week I don’t blame her for. You’ll see why in my next post. But remember how I said that these chefs seem more self-assured and professional than in their original seasons? Well, not Jamie. She seems to have lost that spark of self confidence that she had when we first met her.

Next week is going to be awesome! The chefs are cooking against Tom. I hope they all trounce him, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

I'll Be Home For Christmas…and in the kitchen.

Isn’t that how the song goes?

Is your Christmas dinner menu all sorted out? I used to serve a repeat of Thanksgiving dinner every year, which made planning really easy. I don’t have a family of leftover lovers, so I don’t do a turkey redo these days. Usually, the only constant is that I start with Scallop Chowder.

Scallop Chowder (serves 4 to 6)

Printable recipe here.

1 onion, chopped

2 carrots, diced

2 tsps. unsalted butter

2 cans chopped clams

clam juice, milk and/or cream

1 large red potato, peeled and diced

6 sea scallops or ½ lb. baby scallops

Soften onions and carrots in butter until completely translucent. Drain canned clams into measuring pitcher. Set aside clams.

Add clam juice, milk and/or cream to make up to 4 cups. (I usually buy a bottle or two of clam juice, add a few spoonfuls of cream and make up the rest with milk.) Add potato and bring to the boil. Lower heat, cover and simmer 15 minutes.

Add clams and scallops. Simmer for 5 minutes, just until scallops are cooked and the soup is hot. Serve at once.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

For the main course tomorrow, I’m going to debone a chicken and stuff it with a spinach filling, then roll and tie it up to make a roulade-type thing.

I’ll serve that with my version of Ina’s “Risotto”. Remember her easy method of cooking the rice in the oven? It’s really in the style of a pilaf, but that doesn’t sound as good. (I still feel a few pangs at calling something risotto when it’s not cooked on top of the stove with constant stirring.)

This is her recipe. Here’s mine.

My Version of Ina’s Version of “Risotto”

1 onion, chopped

2 tbls. olive oil

1½ cups Arborio or carnaroli rice

1 cup white wine

4 cups vegetable of chicken stock

1 cup Parmesan cheese, freshly grated

2 tbls. butter, sour cream or mascarpone

1 cup frozen peas, thawed

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Cook onion in olive oil until soft in a large heavy-bottomed Dutch oven. Add rice and cook for one minute on medium low heat, stirring all the time.

Raise heat to medium high and stir in white wine. Bring to the boil. Stir in 3 cups of stock and bring to boil. Stir once more and cover and bake in the oven for 45 minutes.

Remove from oven and over medium/low heat, stir in one cup of stock, Parmesan, 2 tablespoons butter, sour cream or mascarpone. Lastly, stir in peas and serve hot.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow and that Santa is greatly generous to everyone in your house. I wish I could deliver a bundle of goodies to each of you with a giant hug. Merry Christmas! Have a great one!

THIS Is What Top Chef SHOULD Be About – TOP CHEFS! Plus Tom Admits He’s Not Jimmy Page

We’re all busy, I know. I am REALLY going to attempt to keep this post to UNDER 3000 words. Let’s see if it’s possible.

We revisit the shock of Jen going home last week and Mike saying that Jen is a much stronger chef than Jamie. How about the fact that she’s a much stronger chef than MIKE?

PS There’s a postscript about Jen leaving Top Chef at the end of this post.

David Chang is in the kitchen with Padma and the chefs are in awe.

They divide randomly into teams of four by the order in which they entered the room. Fabio is happy to have Angelo on his team, even if Angelo “wears his pants a little too tight”. Alrighty, then.

Spike has no use for Stephen’s cooking ability, but says “he’ll be able to open a bottle of wine for us”.

For the Quickfire, each team has to test its mis en place abilities by prepping artichokes, lamb and garlic in the fastest time possible. Then they have to create a dish IN 15 MINUTES using all the ingredients they’ve prepped. No immunity, but the winning team members will each get $5000.

The Green Team of Angelo, Mike, Tiffany D. and Fabio finish their prep first. The other Dale reminds us of when Casey, on her season of Top Chef, screwed up a relay race, so she’s “killing the lamb” now. Antonia is peeling the garlic ONE BY ONE, instead of smashing them. Stephen, on a different team, is also doing his garlic way too slowly.

The Green Team finishes first. Oh, this is bad. Each team doesn’t have 15 minutes. They have 15 minutes from when the first team finishes (I think). It’s not a surprise that 2 teams decide to make lamb carpaccio.

Richard tells us he’s taking the lead for his team. I’m not sure the other members of his team agreed with that.

Many of the chefs are still plating with 30 seconds to go.

Carla, Dale, Marcel, Tiffani F.

Lamb Carpaccio Artichoke Chips, Artichoke Salad And Garlic Oil

“Thank you” is all David says.

Stephen, Tre, Richard, Spike

Crispy Lamb Chop With Artichoke 3 Ways

David asks about the spice in the dish and says, “Nice Job.” The chefs are thrilled with that.

Antonia, Dale L. Casey, Jamie

Lamb Carpaccio With Capers, Garlic, Reggiano & Salad With Artichoke

Padma comes up to their station and says “Hello ladies” not seeing (the other) Dale. They all giggle. No reaction at the moment from Dale.

Angelo, Tiffany D. Mike, Fabio

Lamb With Garlic, Tandoori Spiced Yogurt, Slivers Of Artichoke, Dill Salad

Angelo says, “We have a beautifully cooked lamb…” Shouldn’t he let David decide that? “Thanks, guys” is all they get.

Least favorites dishes: Antonia’s team - “The parmesan and parsley overwhelmed everything.” Angelo’s team - “I felt that the thyme and the dill sort of blew out the yogurt.” Angelo looks incredulous and he says (to us) that he’s embarrassed.

Favorite dishes: MY Dale’s team - “The carpaccio was a very unique way to serve lamb raw. It looked straightforward, but (it was) deceivingly complex.” Richard’s team - David liked the crispy lamb chop. “You have a lot of bold flavors, so it was a very tasty dish.”

And the winner is…Richard’s team. Well, (my) Dale was close.

The Elimination Challenge is rather awesome. Each group will go to one of New York’s greatest restaurants (I suppose that could be up for debate, but they are to going to some pretty awesome places) and then each chef will create a dish for the menu.

Angelo’s group gets Má Pêche and is thrilled. He says Má Pêche is “eclectic Asian food and straight-up yummy”.

Antonia’s team gets David Burke’s Townhouse. Spike’s gets the Italian restaurant Marea. I love Michael White. He seems like the NICEST, low key, soft-spoken chef I’ve ever seen. Let’s see how cutthroat he is on Top Chef. MY Dale gets WD-50.

Padma makes sure they know that they are working as individuals and their teammates ARE their competition. AND TWO of them will be going home. Fabio is bit flummoxed by having to cook French Vietnamese food.

Má Pêche is the first restaurant. The first dish is pickled watermelon with crispy yuba (wait let me look that up…oh, of course, it’s beancurd skin…what else could it be?)

“You have the depth of the sausage but then the corn kept coming back into play,” says Angelo. He loves the “pepper notes” of the arugula and how it “cleanses” the palate. He’s narrating everything that touches his taste buds and Tiffany is getting annoyed, really annoyed.

Fluke with pistachios and strawberries is served. Mike jokes that Fabio will make pasta no matter what they’re tasting.

At Marea, cutie Michael White comes out and tells the chefs he looks forward to seeing them tomorrow (when they cook a dish for him).

Sea urchin on crostini is the first dish. Tre says sea urchin is not his favorite and Stephen practically wants to shove it in his mouth. I think a fist fight is about to break out. That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but Stephen is really pompous as he explains to Tre that Marea is one of NY’s best restaurants.

Next up is Sea Bass with a mustard vinaigrette and sturgeon caviar. “Looks beautiful, very fresh, man” says Stephen. They all love it. Richard is a bit worried, because Michael’s dishes are so simple and elegant and Richard says he needs restraint and editing sometimes.

Wylie comes out at WD-50. Carla tells us her food is very different, but now she has an opportunity to marry classic with modern.

Carla looks beautiful this season. She has great skin. I wonder if she’s a secret vegan. And I do love her cocktail ring.

After tasting Wylie’s food, Carla gets nervous and now she’s not so sure she “can pull this off”.

They’re served aerated foie gras. Dale (mine) says it’s “perfectly executed in a way I’ve never seen.” Dale tells us that he read that Wylie loves eggs and he decides “to go for broke” and make an egg dish. That’s my Dale, a warrior to the end.

The last restaurant is David Burke’s Townhouse. He’s a friendly guy too. The chefs sit down and are served a cocktail. It’s in a stemless martini glass resting in a larger bowl filled with water and a swimming fish. That’s what Casey says anyway...it’s kind of hard to see.

Scallop benedict with a sea urchin sabayon comes out of the kitchen. THAT LOOKS SOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD! Then comes “Angry Lobster” with a lobster firecracker, which looks like a huge plate of deep fried succulence. Jamie says the food is very whimsical and playful. Antonia describes it as being larger than life. That’s certainly what the roasted octopus looks like.

As Stephen is planning his dish, he tells us that fashion has become a major interest in his life, which is a better obsession than cocaine. What the hay?

The next day the chefs go back to the kitchens where they dined to create their dishes. THAT chef will be tasting their dishes.

I’m wondering if Antonia’s dish is bit too simple. She’s making peas and carrots. Carla is trying to merge her idea of comfort food with Wylie’s modern take.

They start at Marea. Michael White is at the table with Padma, Tom, Anthony Bourdain and Kate Krader, the restaurant editor of Food And Wine Magazine.

Here are all the dishes. Here’s what the judges say:

About Spike’s dish - Michael: “Texture is very important to me…Caponata is usually not so loose.” Uh-oh. Anthony says that Spike “didn’t do himself any favors using the word caponata”.

Kate thinks Richard’s dish is “elegant and tasty”. Michael likes the “shards” of bread in the dish. Tom thinks it’s good and Tony says it’s “flavor forward”.

Tom likes the garnish on Stephen’s salmon, but Kate thinks the dish is too aggressive. Tony says it tastes “like a head shop”. Too “herby”, I guess.

Michael says Tre is on the money. Tom: “Nicely cooked.” Kate: “Delicious”. Tony: “Tasty.”

The judges hail a taxi…really?...and head off to Má Pêche. Tony says HE wouldn’t want to be in any of these kitchens.

We see Angelo in the kitchen. They’re making it seem like at the very last minute he decides to throw some white chocolate onto the plate with his fish and chorizo.

David Chang is at the table with the judges. Tony: ”I think Angelo’s dish was really creative, very flavorful.” Kate: “Putting white chocolate on this fish sounds crazy and I think it has an exciting flavor to it.” David: “I like the salmon roe. The flavors were all bold and were all very well-balanced and it’s the sort of style that I like. It’s a very innovative dish.” Wow!

Mike’s dish is “solid” according to David. Tom loves the eggplant in it.

Tom is confused by Fabio’s dish. David thinks it’s too heavy and combines a lot of ingredients that he would never put together. Tony: Oh no, what’s HE going to day about Fabio? “I sense a really talented cook who got hopelessly lost in the forest.” Is that an intentional (and huge) diss to call Fabio a cook, instead of a chef?

They like Tiffany’s dish, but they think there’s nothing special about it.

The chefs get back in a taxi to go to David Burke’s townhouse.

David greets then and they sit down. Dale’s (the OTHER one) roasted veal loin with peanuts, popcorn AND French toast AND caramel sounds REALLY strange. Is he trying for the fried chicken and waffle type dish?

Antonia added scallops to her pea and carrot purée.

Tony thinks the smoke in Jamie’s dish adds nothing to it. David says the whole dish could have been more creative with “more wow factor”. Ouch!

Padma says, “It seems like Dale has a sweet dish that just has veal on it.” David actually likes the combination and how he thought about the dish, but just thinks the whole thing is too sweet.

Kate thinks Casey “had a brilliant idea…so smart” to serve halibut to look like a scallop. They all like the idea of a “scalibut”. David says they could put that on the menu. David also really likes Antonia’s dish a lot and says that could also go on his menu.

One more cab ride and one more restaurant. We see Marcel telling (my) Dale about when a sous chef at WD-50 accused him (Marcel) of “culinary plagiarism”. We learn nothing of the circumstances. Why would a sous chef at WD 50 even know who Marcel is? Sounds odd to me (and to Dale).

Tiffani is in the kitchen saying she shouldn’t have frozen her melons, which is probably a good life lesson for us all. Nothing good can come of frozen melons.

Wylie asks the judges as they come in if they’re still hungry. (How COULD they be?) And Tom says they’ve saved the best for last. I know he was just stroking Wylie’s…ego, but that’s not a good thing for the other chefs to hear, is it?

Anthony: “I think Tiffani lost control of this mission on the launch pad. I find the melon, which is a major component an intruder at the party.” He DOES have a way with words. Wylie: “I would have liked to have seen her pare one or two things off the plate. It felt just a little murky.”

Wylie likes the runny yolk in Dale’s dish. Tony: “I love Dale’s dish, he took a lot of chances.” Tom: “The broth tastes like breakfast. Really cool.” Wylie: “I see what you mean. Like buttered toast, almost?” Kate: “It’s got a lot of levels.” Wylie: “I agree.”

Tom says Carla did a nice job. Wylie thinks her shrimp and grits are a little safe, but well-prepared. Kate: “I think given Carla’s background, this was a smart way to go.”

Tony thinks Marcel’s dish is more restrained and timid than he thought it would be. Tom: “Even Marcel’s cucumber was bland.” Wylie says that Marcel used a lot of the equipment in the kitchen, but he’s not sure it was used to improve the dish. Wylie says they were all successful in embracing his philosophy of taking something familiar and playing with it.

THIS is such a good episode. The chefs are cooking and other (really great) chefs are talking about what they cooked. What could be better…besides tasting the actual food?

It seems as if Dale (mine) could be on top, as well as Casey and Richard. The chefs in trouble could be Fabio, Marcel, Jamie, Tiffani and the other Dale.

Back in the stew room, Carla is bragging about using the circulator “y’all”. They all laugh. She does have a really positive energy.

Padma calls in Dale, Antonia, Angelo and Tre. They had the best dishes. This is confusing. Is it that one person from each team is eligible for the win? Let me look. Oh, I guess it is. So because they likes Antonia’s peas and carrots so much, they couldn’t also choose Casey’s scalibut? I guess.

The prize is sooooo random – a six night trip to New Zealand. WHAT does that have to do with the price of eggs?

Tony asks Dale if he knew that Wylie Dufresne was “a notorious egg slut”. Dale says he did.

The winner? It better be MY Dale. And…IT IS!!! GO ME!!! I mean, go HIM! I hope everyone realizes how outrageous it was that he went home so prematurely last time.

They send back in Tiffani, Fabio, the other Dale and Stephen. My Dale tells them to stand up to the judges. Carla says they should be nice. Antonia says, “Don’t pull a Jen”.

Tony is going out of his way to be solicitous to Fabio and he says many people have a hard time understanding David Chang. He continues that when painters lose their way, they tend to overpaint. Fabio doesn’t disagree.

Tom actually spars a bit more with Fabio than Tony does when he says that his cassoulet was over-reduced and didn’t have enough sauce. Fabio says he didn’t see anything like that in David Chang’s dishes. Tom says you have to have what the dish requires.

Stephen says he feels frustrated because he considers himself to be an expert in Italian food and wine and he blew it. Tom asks what he did wrong. He said he had elements in his mis en place that never should have made it onto the plate. Tony says there was an overwhelming flavor and scent of sandalwood that was really unpleasant.

Tiffani KNEW that she should remove the melon from her dish, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

I’m thinking it’s like when Oprah says to listen to that little voice in the back of your head. Of course, she’s talking about when you get into an elevator with a stranger and you just know he’s a murderer, but you don’t want to seem unfriendly, so you stay on the elevator and something bad happens. Here Tiffany is fighting for her culinary life and she should have followed her instincts.

Tom says, “Texturally, the whole thing fell apart because it was watery and mushy.”

Somewhat oddly, Dale (the other one, of course) explains his dish by saying, “Townhouse, it’s like food with jazz hands,” so he wanted “to embrace the sense of humor and kitsch.” Tom says the problem was he gave them a breakfast dish with veal on it.

Okay, the judges chitchat some more after the chefs go back to the stew room. Tony says it’s a fine line between homage and parody and that Tiffani was parodying what Wylie does. Tom says it was one technique too many.

The chefs go back in. Tom’s best line: “Stephen, you may have great knowledge of Italian food. I have great knowledge of Led Zeppelin. It doesn’t make me Jimmy Page.”

And it’s…Stephen and Dale to go home. I’m sorry about Dale leaving. He seemed like a great guy, jazz hand reference notwithstanding.

Stephen says he was cooking a lot more in Season One of Top Chef, but now the other chefs are just better than he was. I agree that, aside from Stephen, many of the chefs seem to have a lot more cooking under their belt. They seem more confident and comfortable than before. Top Chef started in 2006, so if they were on in the early seasons, they’ve had a bit of time to hone their skills.

I’m just happy that this season of Top Chef is so much more watchable than the Sean-plagued Top Chef Just Desserts. I’m counting on my favorite Dale to get all the way to the finale and triumph at last.

PS Jen called in to talk to Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live. (PLEASE don’t ask me how I know this, except to say that Tom was one of the guests and SO I felt it was my duty to watch.) Jen was sooo bland, you would have thought it was Barbie on the phone. Tom reiterated that on her last week’s episode, he didn’t mind that she pushed back. (I guess he likes his chefs feisty.) When asked if she regretted going back on Top Chef, she said no, even with that outcome. Yeah, right.

PPS I made it!...at just a hundred or so words UNDER 3000 words!

Bon Appétit Desserts Cookbook Winner!

Not at all surprisingly, (because of her many entries), Sls(atlmuzikfanzinc) has won the Bon Appétit Desserts Cookbook giveaway. Congratulations! Sls, I’ll be contacting you to make mailing arrangements.

Thank you to all who entered with their comments, emails and tweets.

Giveaway Reminder

Go here to win this:

(You have until Friday, December 17th, 2010, 11:59 pm eastern time.)

Top Chef All-Stars - Jen Goes Ballistic And Tom Takes It!

Top Chef All-Stars - Night at the museum

We dive right in with Dale (not MY Dale) saying how tough this whole Top Chef thing will be. Fabio says it was a wake-up call to be on the bottom last week.

They walk into the Top Chef kitchen and Spike immediately recognizes Joe Jonas standing next to Padma. Should he even know who Joe Jonas is? I can’t tell if that’s weird. AND Spike calls him “a rock star” and a “teenage heart throb”. Certainly the latter is true, but the former? Anyway…

Antonia is thrilled because her daughter is a Jonas Brothers fan. (My) Dale has NO idea who Joe Jonas is. He’s thinking he might be a pastry chef. If I didn’t love (my) Dale before, I love him now.

The Quickfire challenge is kind of inane. The Museum Of Natural History is having a sleepover (are they running out of Quickfire ideas?) and they each have to create a midnight snack for the kids. Joe Jonas gets to choose whose snack they serve.

Richard thinks this is difficult and spouts some inanity. ”Joe Jonas is…a pop icon, so he’s probably eating filet mignon cheese doodles.” Joe Jonas tell them he wants something original, but that the kids won’t have utensils or plates and the snack will be served in a brown paper bag.

THEN, Joe Jonas, jokester extraordinaire, tells them that they have 30 seconds to complete the challenge. KIDDING!!! Hardy-har-har. They really have 45 minutes and the winner will receive immunity and an advantage in the Elimination Challenge.

Dale says that kids are the pickiest eaters of all.

MY Dale is po’ing people off, because he’s taken all the sugar to his station.

We learn that Marcel’s mother took over all the food at his school to make nutritious meals. (???) How did she do that?

They’re all rushing around.

Richard says he was a “husky” kid and he used to “make” cereal with heavy cream. Maybe I don’t hate him after all.

Dale says, “Healthy food sucks, unhealthy tastes good.” He says the kids are going to be wired and he says he should lace his dish with Nyquil.

Before you call him out for being a jerk, he’s kind of right. Kids, in general, aren’t taken with what adults consider to be healthy food. And if you were in a competition and your entire future depended on making something that kids would definitely like, NOW is not the time to bring out the kale. (You know I’m right.)

Padma and Joe return. Antonia tells Joe her daughter would be very excited. Joe likes her muffin. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.) Richard’s white bread with stuff on it sounds (and looks) gross. Joe says it's “wonderful”. I like Spike’s carrot and potato chips with a dipping sauce. Tre’s homemade cracker with jam and bacon sounds fabulous.

Casey makes…oh my gosh…a chocolate bacon lasagna. That does NOT sound good. Mike IS funny…he thinks that sounds “HORRIBLE. I just wanted to throw up when I heard that.” Jen looks appalled as well.

Dale makes some treats that have tons of sugar in them and that’s not even MY Dale.

Jamie makes cheddar biscuits with homemade applesauce to dip them into. I think that would make them soggy. Joe likes the applesauce. (Joe seems to be giving Jamie the eye. I’m not sure he realizes that she plays for the other team, except he DID say that he does watch Top Chef. )

Tiffany D’s dish is a rice pudding that was supposed to be served in easy-to-handle mounds, but it was too warm and kind of fell apart. Not good.

Padma says “very nice” to (my) Dale’s corn cake, which looks absolutely delightful.

Fabio is funny when he says that in Italy a midnight snack is some roasted “cheeken” and some pasta, but he makes a lovely concoction of apple slices coated with different chocolates and then dipped into kid-friendly marshmallows and other stuff. That sounds good. The kids probably won’t appreciate the candied ginger, though.

Tiffani F. (oh, she spells her name with an “I”) makes a rice crispy snowball, which actually looks right on the money.

Angelo is an annoyance. He says he’s made “Cheese crisps 2010, the new evolution.” What does that even mean? New Evolution sounds like one of those wholesome, whitebread singing groups wearing coordinated, jewel-toned, Andy Williams-type sweaters. (All you youngsters, look up who Andy Williams is.) Plus Angelo’s snack has Old Bay Seasoning, which I wouldn’t think kids would like.

Stephen makes a snickerdoodle sandwich, which doesn’t sound so bad, although Spike has a sneer on his face.

(BTW, is Joe the married one? Oh no, he’s the one dating Ashley Greene. I actually have no idea who she is, but I DO know that he doesn’t wear his purity ring anymore. Wait. Let me make sure…I’m going to look closer to see. Nope, no ring.)

Mike makes an Horchata (that’s impressive) and a chocolate coconut corn bar. He describes it as cookies and milk.

The worst dishes, according to Joe Jonas – Tiffany’s - her rice pudding thingie was too messy - and Mike’s (really?). Joe didn’t feel that the chocolate was strong enough. Mike says he’s embarrassed.

Stephen’s was on the bottom too. Joe thought the stuff in the middle didn’t work well with the cookie base. Joe kind of sounds like he knows what he’s talking about.

His favorites – Spike’s and Tiffani’s and he can’t decide between the two, so Padma says they’re serving both to the kids at the museum and THEY will decide. The chefs are not big fans of that idea. Dale (not mine, but it could have been) says they’re called brats for a reason.

The two winners have to prepare their snacks for 150 kids and they get to choose teams to help them. It ends up that Tiffani’s team has all the gals, except Carla and the other Dale. (That) Dale is funny. He says his team is like the Spice Girls with a body guard and Spike’s team is “all the cool guys and their babysitter, Carla.”

Jamie is unhappy that she has to help someone else get immunity. It’s an uneven number, so Padma asks Fabio whose team he wants to be one, since he hasn’t been picked. He picks Spike’s team just to get him mad. Spike calls him Fabian.

My Dale and Angelo are amused by Jen barking orders. In other words, she’s treating this like a professional kitchen situation and they think that’s funny. My Dale isn’t happy about working on Spike’s dish and not making his own. It’s like, he says, asking him (Dale) to make dinner without allowing him to buy the groceries, or making chicken soup with chicken dung. Funny.

They arrive at the museum and admire all the dinosaur bones. The kids arrive and they run in and get their bags of snacks. Spike works the crowd and “campaigns”. The kids seem to like Tiffani’s snacks more. Jamie’s not into the whole thing and tells us that she has no interest in having children…ever. Joe and Padma walk in and the kids go wild(er). Joe has them vote for the Spike’s red team or Tiffani’s blue team. Tiffani wins by FAR and she wins immunity and an advantage in the next challenge.

Tom walks in as they’re leaving. NOONE is happy to see him. Angelo says, “Here the guillotine comes.” Remember “Sosa Consulting Group, President”?

By the way, this is all being reported to you by Sue Gordon (Food Network Musings Blogging Group, President; Lover Of Chocolate Group, President; Great Potato Salad Maker Group, President; Wearer Of Lime Green Sneakers Until They Can Be Worn No More Group, President. Sorry, that last one was a secret. Not A Good Secret Keeper Group, President.)

Tom’s first words? “Your Elimination Challenge starts now!” It’s after midnight! THIS is why Top Chef is so NOT JUST about the cooking. If you’re someone who actually needs sleep, you won’t do very well. It makes me think of the Outwit, Outplay Outlast motto, especially the Outlast part.

Almost no one is thrilled. They get to sleep on cots in the Hall of North American mammals. They have to make breakfast for the kids and their parents and service starts at 7:30am. Tiffani says, “This is crazy fun,” and that the other chefs should reserve their crankiness for their real lives.

Tom tells them they’ll be cooking with what’s in the museum’s kitchen and in two teams – one will follow a T. Rex’s diet and cook with eggs and meat and dairy only, the other will follow a brontosaurus diet and uses fruits, vegetables and grains. Tiffani picks the T. Rex menu.

We learn that Stephen would prefer to be in his downtown loft and that Tre likes to sleep naked. They try to decide on a menu without knowing what’s actually in the kitchen. Some of the guys go on a flashlight tour of the museum and miss out on their maybe 45 minutes of sleep. Fabio says they walk through animal “corpse” and skeletons and dinosaurs.

They get up at 3:44 am. Tre looks hot without a shirt. They run into the kitchen at 4 am. The fruit and vegetable team has lots of stuff to choose from. Tiffani says she made an assumption that the carnivore was an omnivore. Not.

Then Jamie cuts her hand BADLY. She needs stitches. Fabio says he BROKE his finger in his season and just splinted it up with a fork. This IS a little different.

Casey’s says T. Rexes eat Brontosauruses, so they should be good. She also says Jen’s pork belly tastes like wet bacon. We ARE seeing a lot of Jen. Could that be a sign of bad things to come?

Angelo asks Carla to slice Marcel’s plums in small pieces. She’s not happy.

Jamie comes back and says she got TWO stitches, which Tre and Dale (the other one) are not impressed by.

The folks arrive. Antonia says the kids are looking at their dishes like the chefs are crazy. Carla says the kids get it.

Here are all the dishes.

Katie Lee (no Joel anymore) is the guest judge. Isn’t it awkward when Padma says that Katie was the host of their first season? Ohhh, I want to see how Katie is with Padma and vice versa.

Katie does seem to be sticking rather close to Tom. The judges sit with kids. They all like Fabio’s and Stephen’s gnocchi. Padma is sitting right next to Gail. Katie is on the end next to Tom. Every shot is either Gail and Padma or Tom and Katie. Tiffani and Stephen from Season One remember Katie.

Uh-oh, they don’t like Jen’s bacon and eggs and Tre’s sauce for the fish is too bland. Clearly the meat team is going to lose.

Oh, the judges had split up and were actually sitting at different tables. Gail says their kids liked meat and didn’t like vegetables. Tom says his and Katie’s kids liked the vegetables.

Okay, unfortunately, I really think Jen is going home. Earlier, she told us her father said something about coming in second is still losing. Plus we see a preview of Jen screaming at the judges. Oy!

There’s a bit with Fabio, who Richard describes as the mayor. He greets and talks to everyone while plying them with his gnocchi.

Back in the stew room Padma calls in Team Brontosaurus. They are the winners.

And they show Jen AGAIN. She says she only cooks for the judges now and not for the 150 people. Dale says that’s selfish, which I don’t get. If the judges don’t like your food, it doesn’t matter how much the stupid people they bring in for each episode like it.

At judges' table, they say they liked everything from Team Brontosaurus.

Oh look! Katie is sitting next to Padma. And she gets to announce the winning dish. And it’s the banana parfait from Angelo, Marcel and Richard. Marcel says (to us) that if it had gone to one person it should have been him, because he made the most components on the plate.

Team T. Rex comes in and Padma says one of them will be going home. Jen is kind of making faces as Tom is talking. Tre says he knew the sauce was salty because it over-reduced. Tom is amazed by that. Why didn’t Tre thin it out with water or stock? He really should have thought of that. Maybe that will be enough to send him home and not someone I like.

Then Padma says to Jen that she (Jen) looks really pissed off.

THIS IS NOT GOOD and she is SO going home. She is NOT playing smart now.

Jen says she doesn’t think she or her team deserves to be here. Oh gosh, it gets worse.

Gail asks if she tasted the other team’s food. She says OF COURSE I DID and gives a huge smile, kind of mocking Gail’s smile.

Gail asks her what she didn’t like. Jen says I thought we were better. And then Jen says, “Gnocchi for breakfast?” And rolls her eyes.

THEN IT GETS EVEN WORSE.

Tom asks why they plated everything on one plate. Jen says YOU’RE THE JUDGES and smart enough to take different plates if you want.

Tiffani grimaces. Jen is making it soooo easy to send her home. Gosh!

Tom says he IS smart enough to know that and that maybe somebody on their team should have been smart enough to know that too! Jen is going down the river. Fast.

Then Antonia rats Jamie out for leaving and says all the other chefs on the team would have duct taped their fingers up and gone on with the cooking.

Gail says there a problem with the proportion of the eggs in Jen’s dish. Jen says, “I disagree with you.” Tom says her pork was seasoned well, but the eggs were bland. Jen says, “NO WAY! It wasn’t bland. The egg was seasoned perfectly. The bacon was very strongly flavored. It was smoky, it was spicy, it was everything I wanted it to be.”

Noone can believe this exchange.

She continues, “I will fight to the death on this. Zero doubt in my mind it was under seasoned.”

Tom says were going to have to agree to disagree on that one. We will, says Jen.

WHAT IS SHE THINKING? SHE’S ASKING TO BE ESCORTED FROM THE ROOM.

In the stew room, Jen says she yelled at the judges more than they yelled at her.

At Judges’ table, Gail says she’s never seen anyone so angry. I LOVE TOM. He says if someone’s going home it’s over a bad dish, not because they talked back to him, which he doesn’t mind at all. I love him. He is sooooooo strong and stalwart, SO maybe it WILL be Jamie, because they really couldn’t judge her anything.

The chefs go back in. They liked Tiffani’s and Dale’s dish. They get excused. Tom goes down the line saying how crappy various things were. Tom even says he admires how vigorously Jen defended her dish, but that doesn’t make the dish better.

And it’s Jen whose going home. She laughs and doesn’t move.

Jen says she’s shocked and that maybe she was too vocal. Ya think?!! She says she doesn’t know why she’s going home and that second place is still losing and she wonders what her father will say about second to LAST. “I feel like I was robbed and I don’t think it’s right.”

As she leaves the stew room, the chefs (and we) hear this, “It’s bull bleep…..it’s not even bleeping close to being even bleep on the bleep bottom, not even bleep close. The judges got it wrong.”

I’m not sure why, if she had that attitude, she even came back and I’m sure she feels that way NOW. This episode WAS slightly disturbing with talented Jen showing more anger and cussing more than even (my) Dale.

BUT, at the end of the day (and I hope Jen tells her father this) this disappointing appearance means nothing about her ability as a chef. It just shows that Jen doesn't kiss up to the judges on reality shows all that well, which isn’t really a characteristic that chefs need, is it?