Our House

Is A Very Very Fine House

Oh, you're probably thinking I'm talking about my real house. No, I'm referring to those cute little china replicas of Dutch houses that KLM has been giving out in business class (and first class before that) for over 50 years. Each has a shot of Bols genever inside its small china frame.

I saw this story in the Wall Street Journal (they are so painful about giving access to non-subscribers) this morning and I raced to my (somewhat grown up and gone) daughter's room after remembering these on the bookshelf:

I think H must have brought them home from a business trip and they spent years sitting quietly on a shelf. Who knew how valuable they were or how desired?!! I'm so happy we never opened them (or that no kid took a secret swig) which kept their full value intact. Actually, they are a very affordable collectable, often starting just under 10 bucks a house on Ebay or less for the miniatures.

Since 1952, KLM has issued different houses made using the same process as the famous blue Delft pottery and tiles. The final layer of glaze gives the houses a super shiny luster.

There are 88 houses now with a new one coming out in the fall to celebrate KLM's 89th birthday. The most remarkable thing to me is that the airline continues giving them out even in these austere times. It is a great gimmick for KLM, though, with the WSJ reporting that they are avidly collected. It sounds like the moment the plane takes off the jockeying begins in business class.

The good news is we have two of them, the bad news is we have to get our gin elsewhere.

The Miracle of Fruit Or How To Get Goat Cheese To Taste Like Cheesecake

And Guinness To Taste Like A Chocolate Milkshake

It almost sounds too good to be true. Last week, the New York Times reported that there is a small berry-like fruit that makes all food eaten after it taste many times sweeter. And proponents of Synsepalum dulcificum (also know as Miracle Fruit) hold trendy tasting parties to promote this little gem of a berry.

I had never heard of this fruit before. What’s particularly unusual is that the Miracle Fruit is not sweet itself. Apparently, (I’ve never tried one, I’m definitely going to be on the lookout though – even if a single berry can cost $2) you’re supposed to chew the fruit and let the flesh coat your tongue. Then something amazing happens. Sour things, like lemons or limes, can be eaten without wincing. It makes everything taste sweet for up to an hour or so.

It almost sounds like LSD for the tongue, where you’re experiencing a substance-induced alternate reality. Not having experience with either, I think the Miracle Fruit might be the safer.

The plant comes from West Africa, but unless you live in south Florida or Hawaii, you have to grow it indoors in the States, which sounds eminently doable.

I’m all for things that make the world a sweeter place. Maybe if this fruit were distributed more widely, it really could work miracles and not just on our taste buds.

Beautiful Giada Does Lots Of Beautiful Vegetables

Everyday Italian with Giada De Laurentiis

Giada's Vegetarian Favorites
Italian Lentil Salad
Grilled Tofu with Asiago and Walnut Pesto
Goat Cheese and Herb Stuffed Radicchio Leaves
Rigatoni with Creamy Mushroom Sauce

A new Everyday Italian is about to start. Why did they wait so long to air one? (I DID miss a few Saturday's.) Will Giada be pregnant…very pregnant or is this an episode they’ve been holding for many months?

Giada is strolling through a forest…no, a park…no, a vegetable garden. Not terribly pregnant, if at all. Wait, in her intro, she does looks a bit more… zoftig…but those could just be the camera angles her show is famous for. YOU be the judge. Whatever the case, she looks beautiful.



She starts with a rigatoni dish. Her shirt(?) does look a bit bigger than usual, but who knows?



Olive oil goes into a big sauté pan. (Remember, if you get married, that will be my wedding gift to you. It’s absolutely indispensable.) She chops 2 shallots and a garlic clove and leaves them to sweat.

(Giada, hon, to help with pregnancy digestion issues, I really recommend getting rid of the green stem in the center of the garlic. Even when cooking it and not pregnant, I always do.)

She throws 2 handfuls(!) of salt in pot of boiling water. The rigatoni goes in.

Giada slices mushrooms for the sauce. She’s using shitake mushrooms, button mushrooms “for body” and crimini, which she says have good flavor and a firm texture. She adds them to the shallots with a bit more olive oil.

She adds ½ cup white wine (way too soon. I think). NOW she’s adding vegetable stock. How about browning the mushrooms first? Giada does say to turn up the heat. She wants to cook the mushrooms fairly quickly, so they don’t sit in the stock too long. But she definitely didn’t cook them enough BEFORE she added the stock.

She chops chives, as she tells us how much she likes their color and fresh oniony flavor. Giada adds salt and pepper to the mushrooms and then checks the pasta. It’s ready. She quickly adds 1 cup of mascarpone cheese to the mushroom mixture and scoops in the pasta with some of the water clinging to it. She mixes it all together and dishes it out into a lovely green pasta dish.

That reminds me, did you know that if you’re interested in eating less (who isn’t), serve your food (preferably blue) on blue dishes, wearing something blue, in a room painted blue…

Giada grates some Parmesan over the pasta for its “nutty bite” and finishes off the dish with some chives. She serves herself, admiring the rigatoni. Good job.

The shot of the lentil salad looks great. Giada seasons the water for the lentils. Wait a sec…Some folks believe that you shouldn’t add salt to lentils before they’re cooked, as with other beans, because the skins will toughen. Others say that it doesn’t matter as much. I add salt at the end.

Giada adds French green lentils to boiling water and begins to chop the remaining vegetables. She peels and halves a cucumber lengthwise and slices it into little pieces. Into a bowl it goes. She cuts up and adds red pepper and scallions. She zests 2 lemons over and adds green and red grapes that she has halved. She chops toasted hazelnuts. Giada toasts them at 350°F for 10 minutes ‘to intensify the flavor”. (I use a microwave.)

Giada checks the lentils. She likes them al dente, soft on the inside with a little bit of a bite. She drains them on a wide platter to cool them faster.

She moves on to a vinaigrette. She rolls a previously zested lemon and squeezes it through her hands into a bowl. (I never do that...too many little cuts.) She adds salt and pepper and whisks in 1/3 cup of fruity extra virgin olive oil. (I would use a blender with a dash of mustard perhaps to hold the emulsion.) She tosses all the vegetables in with the lentils and pours over the vinaigrette. Beautiful. She tastes it and loves it.




The next dish is grilled tofu, which can be a problem if it’s not nice and crispy. Giada is making one of my favorite pesto variations to go along with it. She places parsley, a few sage leaves, one garlic clove (with the stem firmly in place), ¼ cup chopped walnuts - untoasted, I would have - and ½ cup asiago cheese (which I hate every time I use it) in a food processor. OOH, Giada’s using grapeseed oil. Yum! Have you ever used it? It tastes warm and rich, almost like a nut oil, without a specific nut flavor. Try it.

The ingredients get puréed in the processor. The pesto goes into a bowl.

Giada slices a block of tofu in half diagonally and then again on the diagonal to make 4 pieces. Then she cuts each triangle into 3 pieces.




She oils the grill and puts on the tofu. Giada salts and peppers each slice. After 2 minutes, she turns them and cooks them on the other side. No s and p on the second side?

Giada plates them. A bit of pesto goes over each one. She tastes it.



Hmm, I’m not sure she liked it. There was a slight hesitation after it hit her taste buds…

Weird commercial with Ellie um-ing and ah-ing. I don’t buy it.

Next is “a five star salad” to make at home. Giada heats one cup of olive oil to 300° and then cools it for 5 minutes. (Then why heat it in the first place?)

She chops 1/4 cup each of parsley and basil. She adds 1 teaspoon of dried thyme (not fresh?) and salt and pepper. Giada chops THREE garlic cloves with the big fat green stem still in there (just waiting to give her indigestion). She slices 3 scallions and mixes everything together with the oil.

Aaah, the reason you heat it up is to bring out the flavors in the herbs and garlic.

Giada spoons a bit of oil in the bottom of a baking dish. She lays ½ inch goat cheese slices on top. She adds more flavored oil on top.



She covers the dish and chills it in the fridge for 4 hours. Wow! I would eat this, but I might not wait 4 hours for it.

Giada serves the goat cheese in pretty leaves of radicchio. She places one slice of goat cheese in a pretty red leaf. I don’t even like radicchio that much, but this is gorgeous, actually really beautiful.



No one uses color like Giada, on herself AND her food. This last dish was simple, stunning and delicious. Giada, I know you’re taking care of Jade, but don’t forget about us. Come back soon.

Oooh, Rachael Ray Is Scary!!! NOT!!!

As much as I would love to see Rachael Ray carted away for her culinary transgressions, pulling her latest Dunkin' Donuts online commercial is complete and utter insanity! To suggest that an ad with her wearing a Middle Eastern style scarf was sending secret messages to terrorists is to miss the truly culpable part of the ad, shilling crap to the American public...

You know, on second thought, maybe taking it off was a great service... whatever the reason.

Top Chef - Spoilsport (That's Me) Alert

Spike wins the Quickfire with excellent butchering and fine meat cooking. He may lose the opportunity to participate in the finale, because, even with the first pick of ingredients, he chooses to use frozen scallops.

The episode progresses. Stephanie's solid. Lisa is less jerky because Dale's not there. Richard is kind of insecure. Spike pisses off the guest judge and Antonia is so calm and self-assured that, to me, she comes off as a bit pompous and patronizing.

What a shame, Spike loses. Ah well...no me importa.

White Sangria For One

No, don't feel sorry for me. I wasn't alone on Memorial Day, H had beer. I spent the whole day planting tomatoes and other stuff I had bought, so I didn't actually get to the store until after 4...No fancy menu, except for a few REALLY great things. Please email me for my Honey Mustard Dressing.



I have no idea where I got the recipe, except that I know it isn't mine. It takes 30 seconds to make in the blender and has exactly 4 ingredients. It is the MOST delicious rendition of that dressing that you will EVER have.

I threw that on chicken breasts and then grilled them. Too bad they were basically steamed (not too much gas in the old barbie I guess). Then they got served on hamburger buns with more dressing on top. TOO GOOD!!!

We had my standard peppers and onions - slice one yellow and one red pepper and one red onion. Put them into a LARGE nonstick pan. Coat with 2ish tablespoons of GREAT olive oil, press in a garlic clove or two and sprinkle with kosher salt. Turn on the heat to medium high. Cook, stirring until you feel like stopping. I like it kind of charred, but whatever. This is the only time I don't soften my onions before adding additional ingredients.

I also served tons of bits and pieces that I didn't make. Remember, I got home from the store after 5! Do you really want to know what else?

Gardenburgers, actually Amy's Texas burgers and Baked Beans: Heat one can of your favorite baked beans with a dollop of your favorite barbecue sauce. (This time it was Heinz Vegetarian Baked Beans with the Silver Palate's Smokey Maple Barbecue Sauce.); Store-bought (but at least from the deli counter) cole slaw, just enough to go on the Texas burger; really good Kosher dills; Caesar salad (which of course I did make); and I’m embarrassed to say that wasn’t all – we also had Baked Lay’s; potato salad; relish and corn.

While whirling around the kitchen, I also made a stovetop (I didn’t want to turn on the oven) rice pudding from the newest Joy Of Cooking. (Email me.)



I used organic Jasmine rice and 1% milk (not whole) and it was quite adequate. (I just saw my aunts and after they’ve been fed a 12 course meal that couldn’t have been better, they say “That was adequate.”)

That sounds like a lot of food, it WAS a lot of food, but after the White Sangria hit, I actually wasn’t that hungry. Make this anytime you feel like a refreshing beverage. I made half this amount:


White Sangria





1 lemon, 1 lime, 1 orange and 4 strawberries
3 tbls. triple sec
1 bottle of white wine
12 oz. 7-up, diet or regular (see note)
(Use half as much 7-up as wine, if you're measuring by eye.)
Cut the ends off the lemon, lime and orange. Squeeze the juice from the ends into a pitcher. Slice the fruit thinly. Add to pitcher with triple sec. Pour over wine. Just before serving add the 7-up.


Note: If you prefer not to use 7-up, add seltzer instead, but then you need to add a bit of sugar to the fruit, about a tablespoon.

Happy Memorial Day!

I Just Can't Help Myself...

Vote For Dale

I’ve decided to channel my anger at Dale being kicked off Top Chef for a higher good. I found this awesome interview with fabulous Dale on Yumsugar.

He gives his fans a great suggestion, which is to vote for him as fan favorite on the Top Chef website. They allow 20 votes per week and the voting goes until May 27th…

Nineteen, Twenty, DONE…

One More Thing About Top Chef Season 4

Let Me Just Make It Clear Why I Won't Be Watching...
Ok, Maybe I’ll be Watching (Just A Little), But I WILL NOT be Reporting On It Anymore This Season

Dale was my boy, my man, my chef. I adored his cooking. I just love Asian and fusion cuisine and any and all combinations. My absolute favorite places are Buddakan, Vong, Tabla, Asia de Cuba – they’re my go-to restaurants.

Maybe I’m a bad sport, but I don’t care about the other chefs.

Antonia may end up taking it all, without once having uttered a profanity or stabbing anyone in the back. She’s like a hardworking journeyman...woman – eminently capable, gets the job done, good food which looks ok, but where’s the fire, where’s the spark?

Dale was a naturally gifted ninja (is that too much of a stereotype?) in the kitchen. His creations (until his final night) were perfectly put together, wonderful tasting and, despite Antonia’s criticism that he ALWAYS cooked Asian, smartly inventive. (Nikki ALWAYS made pasta, including the night she was recruited as a helper for Antonia’s team.)

Listen, I have nothing against Antonia. She’s a mom (aahhhhhhhhh, that’s what they want us to say) she cooks with her head, she’s sensible, nothing is ever too out there. But Dale, aahhhhhhhhh Dale, he cooks with his heart. He moves fast and thinks on his feet, and the judges absolutely should have taken into account his overall superior skill level.

Now, we (well, actually YOU) are forced to watch Lisa, the witch; Spike, who I still can’t tell apart from Andrew, but now that Andrew’s gone, I don’t have to; Richard, who is very gifted, but really he’s a one trick pony*; Stephanie, ehhh, nice kid, I’d have no problem eating in her restaurant, but I don’t want to watch her sweat and strain to get there.

So enjoy the show, and I’ll just have to try for a reservation at Buddakan, where I can be closer to my Dale.

* I kinda get the deal with the Ras el Hanout, though. I once bought a particularly fragrant brand of Smoked Paprika and it was such a revelation that I used it on EVERYTHING. I thought it brought out the meatiness of meat and added a rich flavor to non-meat items and I just LOVED the taste. (I haven’t used it in months, though, I just got burned out.)

Top Chef - Restaurant Wars Showdown

Let’s fast forward through the Quickfire Challenge, where the 6 contestants have to cook eggs in a greasy spoon for the early morning breakfast rush. The only thing notable about this challenge was Tom entering the Top Chef house before 6 am(!!!), while the chefs are all sleeping. That was a bit weird. I guess he had to get some face time, because he was off at a “charity event” and wasn’t going to be judging the Elimination Challenge this week.

The Quickfire ends with Dale and Antonia as the best two. Antonia is pronounced the overall winner at mastering the art of fast egg cooking.

The chefs are directed to a big empty space and Padma tells them it’s…Restaurant Wars! Because Antonia is the winner, she gets to pick two other chefs for her team. She chooses Stephanie and Richard. Uh-oh, that leaves Dale with Lisa. I don’t like that, but I guess it makes for drama.

The menus are decided and after what looks like an all too quick trip to Whole Foods for $1500 in groceries and Pier One for $5000 for dishes and décor, they begin to cook.

During the prep time, Tony strides into the kitchen, saying he’ll be replacing Tom this week and “bringing his warmer, sunnier disposition to the challenge.” He wanders around asking each team what they’re doing.

Let’s cut to the chase. The restaurant is open. They get started. The judges enter and Padma introduces guest judge Chef José Andrés. Oh, I like him.

Antonia, Stephanie and Richard (Mr. Ras el Hanout)
Gastropub:
1st Course
Beet Salad with Goat Cheese & Ras el Hanout Spices (again!!!)
Linguine & Clams with Sausage & Horseradish Crème Fraiche

Tony tasting the pasta: “This is better than what I would expect.” José: “I love the texture of the linguine. Stephanie pipes in “I made the pasta myself.” Ted says the Goat Cheese Salad (or is he just talking about the goat cheese?) is really delicious.

2nd Course
Trout with Cauliflower
Lamb Loin & Braised Lamb Shank

Ted: “This is a nice presentation.” Tony: “I was thinking exactly the same thing.”

Whoa, slow down a second, guys…EVERYTHING can’t really have been so good thus far. It’s obvious that this team will be the winning team and that Dale’s team will have some failed dishes.

Okay, this is my prediction: the two losers will be Dale and Lisa and LISA will be going home, because if they send Dale home, I ain’t watching this show anymore, because there is no one else I want to win.

I mean it. I WILL hold a grudge. I will be unreasonable and mean and I’ll spend my Top Chef evenings watching House Hunters instead. Where was I?

Tony repeats how much he loves the lamb. José is really impressed by the level of cooking and Padma says “We’re not joking around here on Top Chef.”

It is so evident that all this praise is just a set-up for how disappointing the other team’s menu will be. I almost don’t want to watch it…AND I bet something horrible will go wrong with Spike’s décor, like a giant mirror will fall off a wall or something…I SWEAR I’m writing this as I’m watching, so if that really does happen, I am absolutely psychic…

3rd Course
Gorgonzola Cheesecake with Sweet Potato Puree & Concord Grape Sauce (Gag me!)
Banana “Scallops” with Banana Guacamole & Chocolate ice Cream

The desserts didn’t go over QUITE as well, but they liked their innovativeness and, luckily for them, the judges didn’t actually hate anything.

Dale, Lisa and Spike
Mai Buddha

1st Course
Spicy Coconut Shrimp Laksa…Padma: OOH, isn’t that beautiful?
Pork & Pickled Plum Pot Stickers

Tony on the laksa: “It was just too damn smoky,” WHICH IS EXACTLY what Dale said back in the kitchen. Padma adores the dumplings. Ted loves the char on them.

2nd Course
Braised Short Ribs with Pickled Red Cabbage & Apple Basil Salad
Padma: “I love a short rib.”
Butterscotch Miso Scallops, Spicy Eggplant & Pickled Long Beans

Tony: “It’s like Willy Wonka scallops.” Padma in horror: “No, really?” A random diner says she has no idea what she’s eating...probably not a good sign. Equally, it’s not a good sign when Lisa says Dale isn’t happy with his food choices and ultimately the executive chef is responsible for the food. That can’t bode well. Lisa, it better be you or I’m out of here…

3rd Course
Halo-Halo with Cantaloupe, Coconut, Kiwi, Avocado & Candied Nuts
Mango Sticky Rice with Toasted Coconut

Tony's take on the Sticky Rice dish: “It’s baby vomit with wood chips.” He was “okay” with the halo-halo, although he didn’t “particularly love it”. José did. Random diners HATED the sticky rice dessert.

Spike’s take on his teammates’ performances: “Poor,” which also means he thought HIS wasn’t.

Needless to say Antonia’s team won. Tony: “I was really impressed by all of your comportment.” Why do I think he would have behaved more like Dale in the kitchen, who everyone is down on for acting temperamental when things don’t go right? Isn’t that the definition of a chef?

The winner is Stephanie. She wins a culinary tour to Barcelona and a guided wine tasting tour for two.

The other team goes in to face the judges. I’ve just noticed that Dale is wearing shorts and hideous blue shoes. Are they crocs? I can’t quite see…Remember it better be Lisa!

Tony: ”ALL of us were unanimous in finding some very unpleasant aspects to this meal.” Well, TONY, I find your face unpleasant! Especially, if you even think of sending my Dale home!

I don’t get his critique about the napkins. He asks who came up with the color. No one takes responsibility. He says that the décor “announced itself as a place where a greasy dumpling would be unforgivable.” Was Tony saying that the décor was SO elegant and well done that he expected the food to follow suit? It sure didn’t sound that way…

Then the judges go off on the author of the butterscotch scallop dish - Dale. (Frankly, I’ll take butterscotch any way I can get it, especially if cute Dale is dishing it out.) José said nothing worked in the dish. Padma said it was way too sweet. “Hearing the words butterscotch and scallops together in the first place was very worrying to me,” says Tony. “It looked like a melted candy bar.”

Tony goes on to rip the laksa and says it was like “putting (his) face in front of a campfire”. Dale actually points to Lisa just as she actually takes full responsibility for the dish.

Could it be that Dale IS a little bitch as Spike (was it?) always calls him? Never mind, Lisa’s a bigger one. They go on to criticize basically everything about Dale and Lisa and their nitpicking over whose responsibility everything was. SHE really is a tattle tale, but I’m getting an uneasy feeling that as the executive chef of this challenge, HE’S going to take the fall.

But CLEARLY, he is the better cook. He’s won more challenges including being in the top two in this very episode’s Quickfire. Dale, you better stay, buddy…José doesn’t like the lack of teamwork that they’re showing, but what are you supposed to do when you don’t want to take the fall for someone else’s mistakes?

Oh good, José opines (correctly) that because Spike was in the front of the house, he considers himself away from all the trouble in the kitchen and above it all. And he was fortunate that nothing falls off the wall.

Dale makes the point that you’re only as good as your weakest link. Lisa comes back with you’re only as good as your leader. I agree with Dale. Buh-bye Lisa. They leave to let the judges deliberate.

The judges agree that Spike was smart to stay out of it and that he did his job ok. They agree that Dale fell down as a conceptualizer, executor and something else or other. BUT the judges agree that Lisa “botched” both of the dishes she made – sticky rice and the laksa and that she’s really bad at taking criticism. Are they are picking Lisa….or not?

OOH, Lisa and Dale are still having it out. Dale isn’t that nice, but he’s still a better cook than she is.

The three chefs go back in, Dale looks mad; Lisa looks belligerent and Spike looks a little too self satisfied.

WHAT?!! DALE is sent home. That really, really, really, really stinks. He’s okay with the whole thing. He actually breaks up talking about it.

Dale being sent home is a huge mistake. A HUGE mistake. A huge MISTAKE!!! I’m done… Without Dale, I don’t care who wins…I wouldn’t even have minded if Richard had beaten him in the final two, but the remaining chefs are of no interest. Top Chef is dead to me.

O Emeril, Emeril! Wherefore Art Thou Emeril?*

It’s official. The Food Network's connection to Emeril Live will be confined only to afternoon repeats.

Fine Living (shown in a little more than half the Food Network’s 90 million homes) has picked it up. Starting July 7th, they will show a new Emeril Live every Monday night with repeats the other six nights, after an initial premiere week of five original episodes. It will be shown in the same time block as his corporate boss Martha Stewart’s show every weekday evening.

The big news here is that this prolongs the life of Emeril Live and leaves open the possibility of future seasons. The Scripps Network does own both the Food Network AND Fine Living. I guess they felt that Emeril's high profile would be of more benefit to Fine Living.

Good luck to everyone’s favorite Cajun chef.

*Yes, I know that doesn't really mean "Where are you Emeril?" but I couldn't resist the poetic sounding title...

Sweet Endings

No, I’m not talking about dessert, although I did have a couple of good ones this weekend. I’m talking about those all too few moments in life when we can savor a loved one’s achievements.

Our second and last child graduated from college on Sunday. It was a gorgeous day and a wonderful weekend. His sister from faraway was there, plus his grandfather. We had celebratory dinners with the best of friends - A and G, and some special young friends. It was a good sign that we ran out of toasts by the end of the weekend.

I thought I would be reliving his past (and mine)…kindergarten plays, middle and high school sports stuff and high school graduation. I’m not sure why, but my mind was firmly focused on the future – what he’ll do in his life, where he'll live and all he’ll see.

While the path was smooth and steady (well, MOSTLY), the end of his formal schooling was particularly satisfying. He's a really nice kid, who always knew what he wanted to do, which I realize is rare and many times not even practical.

He wants to be a sports broadcaster and he actually got a job doing exactly that. Okay, it’s far away and for a small team, but he’s doing it. And what more can a parent ask?

Oh yeah, phone calls home…lots of them.

Michael, I Miss You

Since Michael Chiarello has been moved to no cook's land on the Food Network - 7 am on weekend mornings and 11:30 am during the week - I've been keeping in touch with the flawless chef by means of his NapaStyle newsletter, which comes to my inbox with great frequency.

You may remember that I am the fortunate owner of a spectacular knife holder from NapaStyle that I use with great jubilation. (The sad thing is I'm not kidding. I really do exult everytime a knife or long skewer is required.)

Anyway, I noticed a blurb on pizzas in this newest newsletter. MC was trying to sell his outdoor pizza oven, which I'm not in the market for, but this recipe looks great.

Michael also has what looks to be many hundreds of recipes on this online catalog site, which are beautifully organized by courses, ingredients and other specifications as well. It's actually very easy to use and rather impressive. I know he's trying to sell us stuff, but he's doing a good job at getting alot of information across.

There is a fairly rudimentary blog too, where Michael talks about what's going on, business-wise mainly (DARN!), but he DOES mention that he's working on a new television show. I'm thinking it won't be on the Food Network, but who knows?

Is it a shame that a chef we've come to know from the Food Network is shilling his wares in a catalog and website? For me, no, I'll take him any way I can get him...

Sad News From The World Of Wine

94 year old Robert Mondavi died at his Napa home today. I always admired this grand gentleman, who produced some of the best wines of his generation, while providing decent moderately priced ones as well.

I remember when he and Baron Philippe de Rothschild joined together to make a California premium wine, known as Opus One. H and I visited the beautiful Mondavi Winery years ago and I remember hoping that Opus One was included in the tasting at the end of the tour....No such luck.

Mondavi's list of accomplishments is long, but of particular interest to me is his part in Copia. It was his brainchild and the recipient of his $20 million gift.

He grew up in the California wine business and his family bought the Charles Krug Winery in 1943. When he was 52 in 1966, he and his remaining brother had a disagreement that couldn't be mended and he started his own winery, the Robert Mondavi Winery. (His brother remained in control of Charles Krug.)

The Robert Mondavi family sold their entire wine business to Constellation Brands in 2001 for more than one billion dollars. The sale included their exclusive AND everyday wines, even though the family had been prepared to split the company.

All through his life, Robert Mondavi travelled widely and kept in close touch with European winemakers. He was also interested in art and music and was a well-known patron of both.

Time to crack open a bottle and toast to all his long life, good works and many accomplishments.

Top Chef - Say It With Salad, But Stop Screaming About Everything Else!

Top Chef
Episode 10 Serve and Protect

There's a money shot of Glad bags near the beginning of Top Chef. Is the prize $100,000 dollars or that much money in Glad bags? It’s hard to tell.

We open with Andrew…or is it Spike? I still can’t tell the difference. They’re showing Steph a bit. Richard says he’s tired. Spike says Dale’s a little bitch. Didn’t he say that last week?

Dale says it’s all too dramatic and emotional. Andrew says everyone is beat down but him.

Quickfire Challenge. They all look awfully exhausted after being up all day and night for last week’s wedding challenge.

Season 2 finalist Sam Talbot is the guest judge. Antonia thinks he’s tall dark and handsome. Each to her own. The challenge is to “put the sexy back in the salad.” Okay, maybe it’s SAM that should leave the island. Padma says they have 45 minutes and they can use all the ingredients in the kitchen. (There's a huge table with tons of stuff on it.)

Let’s have sex after we eat this salad, says Spike. Eww.

Dale’s looks the best to me, after we see it for one second. Steph mixes artichokes, mushrooms and pears. I don’t love that. Antonia likes “fatty salads”. Lisa is using lobster tails. (That’s a good idea, even though she not my fav.)

Steph ran out of time before she got her artichoke chip on the plate. That’s not good.

The results:
Andrew: “Thai fruit salad” with Mangoes, Strawberries, Raspberries & Sriracha Dressing. Sam: “The sriracha gives it a good flavor.”

Spike: “Sensual Beef Salad” with Pineapple, Radish, Cucumber & Skirt Steak. Sam: ”It’s nice to see the contrast in profiles.” Huh? I guess that’s good, but what does it mean?

Lisa: “Sexy Banana Salad” with Squid, Lobster Tail, Bananas & Yuzu Vinaigrette. Sam: “Actually I don’t taste a lot of spice at all.”

Stephanie: “Fall Duet” with Pear Vinaigrette, Poached Pear & Artichokes. Sam: “Thank you.”

Antonia: “Poached Egg & Wild Mushroom Salad” with Bacon Vinaigrette & Squash Blossoms. Sam: “It’s got great flavor. Thanks.” Did his gaze linger on her for a second? Was there some chemistry between the two chefs? She IS a single mother, right?

Richard: “Fresh & Clean Salad” with Ceviche of Fruits & Vegetables. Sam: Thank you.

Dale: “Poached Chicken Salad” with Nori Paste, Mirin, Sake & Rice Wine Vinegar. Sam: “Poached chicken can dry out, but that’s actually really moist.”

Richard and Steph and Lisa lose.

Sam liked Spike, Antonia (I TOLD you) and Dale. He said Dale’s dish was really unique and that he nailed it. Spike is the winner. His first win. He gets a significant advantage, Padma reminds him, instead of immunity.

They wheel in tons of greasy fast food to show that this is what most people eat for lunch. The challenge is to make gourmet boxed lunches for cadets from the Chicago police force. Lisa is funny as she says that personally all that junk looks good to her.

Sam says he is diabetic himself and has to think about healthy eating. The challenge is to “protect (the cadets’) health and serve them something tasty.“

As a winner of the QuickFire Challenge, Spike gets a 10 minute head start shopping and the four ingredients that he chooses no one else can use.

Spike is getting things that will PO everybody, because they won’t be able to use them: chicken, bread, lettuce and tomato.

Andrew doesn’t care because he thinks those are the most dumbed-down ingredients anyway. Andrew studied nutrition for 2 years and brags about how he doesn’t run around with his head cut off. OK, it’s Andrew going home!!! That’s my pick.

The lunch has to include whole grain, lean protein, fruit and vegetable.

Andrew is putting together parsnips and something or other for a sushi roll. That sounds awful! He’s bragging again. He’s going down!

Dale is using lettuce, scratch that, CABBAGE cups with bison. Antonia is dissing him (to the camera) because he only cooks Asian food.

Lisa is doing tons of explanation. It’s way too much. Tom enters the Top Chef kitchen. He seems to like Steph’s dish. Tom tries Lisa’s hot sauce. He practically gags. Spike gets a handshake. Richard wants to know if Tom likes burritos. In his usual blustery way, he says he does IF it’s a good burrito.

Tom tells the camera that they all seem to be doing a good cooking job. Lisa’s brown rice is burned. She says someone turned up the heat. Steph says it was just an accident (on Lisa's part), not sabotage. Dale agrees. They rush to box everything up to get to the police academy.

They get to the cafeteria and label their food with instructions on how to reheat. The cadets come in. Richard asks every single person, “Do you like burritos?” Spike says he’s so cheesy. He’s right.

Apparently the cadets get to choose any lunch they wish. Spike keeps only two boxes out in front, so it seems like his lunches are going fast.

Padma arrives. Here are the dishes:
Oh there are Ted and Tom. Hi boys!

Stephanie: Mushroom & Meatball Soup with Barley, Vegetable Puree & Yogurt. It’s orange and looks completely smooth, like a butternut soup. The judges seem pleased with it.

Spike: Chicken Salad with Pita & Raw Vegetables. “It’s a very pedestrian chicken salad to me”, says Padma. Ted says Spike had plenty of time to do something more exciting. Tom remarks on the ingredients he chose, thinking that he only picked them so that the other chefs couldn’t use them.

I don’t think that’s completely fair. That was part of the deal for winning the Quickfire Challenge. Of course, the winning chef would choose stuff that would benefit him or her and screw the opposing chefs.

Dale: Lemongrass Bison Lettuce Wrap with Brown Rice & Herb Salad. The cops say it’s good. The judges like it too.

Antonia: Curry Beef with Jasmine Rice, Berries & Figs with Grape Syrup. The cops really like the filet and the sauce. Ted says the beef is nicely cooked. Padma says the flavors are delicious.

Andrew: Salmon Roll with Parsnip-Pine nut “Rice” & Pickled Ginger Wasabi. “I take nutrition in a very serious sense,” he drones on and on to a very polite Ted. (If you have to ‘xplain it, it means it doesn’t stand alone on the taste.) He includes the information that wasabi helps with tooth decay. I hope he means to PREVENT tooth decay.

Padma: ”That’s very strange”. She’s talking about the dish, not Andrew…and not his dental tips. Ted: “The flavor’s not great.” Padma notices instantly that he didn’t use a whole grain. Ooh, does that mean he didn’t follow the rules? He is soooo out! Tom looks disgusted.

Richard: Grilled Tuna Burrito with Lentils & Quinoa in a Rice Paper Tortilla. He asks the same dumb question of Sam – “Do you like burritos?” What if someone says NO?!! Ted says it tastes better than it looks. Tom says, “It tastes good, actually”. One cop says it would nice on a summer day. Who knew officers could be so poetic? Sweet.

Lisa: Shrimp stir-fry with Brown Rice, Berries & Yogurt.
Padma and Sam know immediately that the rice is undercooked. It’s really spicy, a cop says.

Sam comes from a family of cops and says he liked some of the lunches and didn’t like others. Tom says if you want people to eat something healthy, it has to be delicious as well.

Lisa explains to Spike that someone fooled with her rice. Andrew realizes he didn’t use a grain in his dish (20 minutes after everyone else did).

The judges want to see Dale and Stephanie. Obviously, one of them is the winner. YUP. They get asked why they came up with what they did. The judges loved Dales’ idea of the bison, saying how healthy it is. Stephanie’s soup was very well seasoned.

DALE is the winner. GO ME!!! He gets a bottle of 2002 Rutherford Merlot wine. Whoop-Dee-Do. Oh wait, it’s kind of pricey and Dale also gets a visit for 2 to the Rutherford Hills winery. That’s cool and he’s happy that he's won 5 out of 20 times.

The losers: Spike, Lisa and…Andrew. WHO called it???? Andrew is so gone. I’m sure.

Andrew mentions AGAIN that he studied nutrition for 2 years. He goes on and on about how you should eat every 3 hours. How exactly IS a police officer going to eat that often? “I want to leave them wanting more.” Tom points out that they’ll get a candy bar later if they’re hungry, which defeats the entire purpose of the healthy lunch.

The exchange demonstrates how pissy Andrew was:
A: I wanna show you guys what it is to eat healthy.
Tom: How about serving something that’s good?
A: Was it not good?
Tom: It didn’t taste good at all, no.
A: Really? That’s funny. I had 2 people go back for it.
Tom: They went back for it because it wasn’t enough and they had to eat more.

Andrew definitely resents that the judges didn’t like it.

They get to Spike. Padma wants to know why he made chicken salad. He didn’t want to scare the cadets, he says. Then he also gets a bit aggressive. “What was so wrong about the way I used my ingredients?” The dish you came up with dummy!

They hated the combination of olives and grapes. And Spike almost insults them. Ooh gosh, he really is nasty to Tom. He says “the common person” likes those together. Tom gives as good as he gets. “If you want to take their word over mine, that’s fine”, says Tom…”Unfortunately for you, it’s my opinion that matters.”

It’s Lisa’s turn. Tom says many components of her dish were poorly cooked. She says Wah! Someone screwed with my rice. Tom's attitude: All that aside, nothing was well cooked.

Then Lisa actually points out that Andrew didn’t use a grain in his dish, which they were supposed to. She actually ratted him out. Tom says they’re aware of that. Lisa and Andrew have a nice little altercation in front of the judges.

They leave the room. “Boy, did Lisa have a lot to say”, says Padma. Tom says they’re not going to accept alleged sabotage as an excuse for her dish. Ted says there were 4 really huge mistakes in it. They agree that Spike’s was unimaginative. Sam and Tom really hated it.

Andrew and Lisa have more words. “It just shows me who you are.” Andrew says to Lisa about the tattling.

Padma points out again that he didn’t use a whole grain. Tom says that’s true. Ted says Andrew was completely arrogant.

Outside the room, there’s more Andrew/Lisa conflict.

Then Padma makes the point that it’s a unanimous decision, which means to me that they chose Andrew and she's making the point that it wasn't because Lisa told on him.

To a break…Do you think this is suspicious that there’s a commercial for diabetes medicine when they happen to have a guest judge with diabetes?

They’re back and they repeat again why they hated all the dishes. Okay, so who’s out?

Tuh-duh, it’s ANDREW!!! (I’m awesome to have picked another rejectee!!!) “I will bow out of this competition with honor and respect”, he says. This isn’t Sicily in 1962! He’s really kind of jerky.

He shakes the judges’ hands and says later he’ll probably never see any of these people again, except Spike. Spike is sad to see him go.

Again, “I play with honor. I play with respect and loyalty.. and honor”, he says soooooooooooo pretentiously. “I’m always against the grain.” Get it? He’s different…unusual…whatever. AND he didn’t add the whole grain to his dish, so he goes “against the grain”. Dumb. He certainly rubs me the wrong way. Good-bye, sucker.

Next week restaurant wars.

Oh Danny Boy, When Are You Going To Get Your Own Show?

Rescue Chef with Danny Boome

Lucy's Gumbo
Chicken and Seafood Gumbo
Blood Orange Lemonade
Grilled Savory Zucchini Flat Bread

The good news is that Danny has left the tri-state area, and, happily, we don’t have to hear him refer to places just outside the city as “Upstate” New York. The bad news is that the concept is the same – helping people make dishes that they’ve enjoyed elsewhere and had little luck cooking on their own.

Freelance writer Rebecca from Texas wants to recreate her mother’s gumbo recipe. I’m still not getting why she would ask DANNY how to make gumbo. Oh wait! I have an idea. ASK YOUR MOM! We’re not told if that’s impossible.

There’s a cooking set-up in the middle of the backyard. THAT looks normal. NOT!!! Instead of a stove, (well, there IS a burner) they use a barbecue for the pots and pans. This is never explained. Maybe Mom cooked on a clown train in uncertain surroundings or maybe Rebecca’s kitchen is being renovated. Danny is cooking outside as if it’s not weird. But everything seems weird to Rebecca.

She is perpetually confused: even as Danny is explaining something as simple as using vegetable oil to make a roux. He adds oil to a hot pot and then stirs in the same amount of flour. It has to cook for a long time, at least 15 minutes, he says, until it’s golden brown. Well, at first he says golden brown. Then, without explaining, he changes it to mahogany brown. Make up your mind.

My authority on a Cajun roux is Paul Prudhomme in his Louisiana Kitchen book of 1984. He refines what Danny says. The oil has to be added to a perfectly clean pan. That’s important if you’ve just been frying chicken. You heat the oil over high heat until it’s just smoking and THEN the flour gets added gradually, being stirred all the time. It should take only 3 to 4 minutes to get a dark brown roux. The vegetables go in next to stop the cooking. PP also calls the roux “Cajun napalm” because it’s capable of bestowing serious burns on the cook, so beware. Danny leaves the roux behind while he cooks it painfully slowly.

Danny slices 3 shallots, while pronouncing them SHALL-lots first and then shall-LOTS. He needs them for a zucchini flatbread, which Rebecca seems never to have associated with her mother’s gumbo…for a good reason. It’s NOT!

Oh, he’s using store-bought pizza dough, but at least it’s a good one. He brushes a baking pan with olive oil. Poor Rebecca is just lost. He stretches the dough to fit the pan and brushes the whole thing with more olive oil and sprinkles over salt. He presses sliced zucchini, which he actually allowed her to do, into the dough followed by the shallots. Danny tells her to grate ½ to 1 cup of Parmesan cheese over the top. 2 cups later, he puts the pan on a preheated medium grill for 20 minutes, with the top down.

Back to the roux, he prepares the triumvirate of Cajun vegetables – chopped celery, green peppers and onions. He lets Rebecca do some of the prep. She has a furrowed brow most of the time, but she does everything that’s asked of her, including the ridiculous camera close-up personal interview “Well, I was a bit suspicious when Danny said we’d be using okra. It’s kind of slimy.”

Honey, you’re making a GUMBO! Chances are it will have OKRA in it. Although, truth to tell, not every one of Paul’s gumbos has okra, but I’m sure your momma’s did.

As usual, Danny doesn’t even trust his cooking companion with the rice. He adds 2 cups of rice to 4 cups of boiling water. He adds the too-big vegetables to the roux.

Danny says she’s going to make her own hot sauce, which can be her signature addition to the gumbo. They chop lots of peppers, seeds and all and it goes into the food processer with canned tomatoes, sugar, apple cider vinegar and garlic. She questions him when he says the heat is in the seeds. I thought it was in the membrane, she says. (She’s right.) “There too”, he says quickly, wanting to change the subject. They process the whole mixture and it goes into a saucepan. The saucepan goes onto the grill, with the top down, to cook. Danny points out that the handle is stainless steel and won’t melt.

The problem with this show is that the other people are incidental to it. Danny doesn’t particularly teach anyone anything or let them do much anyway. I would rather see him in his own kitchen, making his own food, instead of pretending that he’s helping someone.

He takes out the flatbread. (I thought the zucchini should have been cooked first.) Rebecca claims to like it.

They cut 2 lbs. of boneless chicken thighs into 1inch cubes. Danny stirs in bourbon and 6 cups of chicken stock. He adds the chicken. No way does this look like the deep brown it should. It looks positively anemic.

He slices the okra thinly and tells Rebecca it’s the thickening agent. He add tomatoes and bay leaves and says the gumbo will cook for 1 ½ hours. (Paul's don’t cook that long.) He adds shrimp at the end and cooks it for 2 to 3 minutes. My, that looks pale.

I’m not being mean, really, well, ok, just a little, when I say that Cynthia seems a bit…mature to still be trying to duplicate her mother’s gumbo. Isn’t that something you do when you’re younger? By now, she should have asked a relative or experimented on her own enough to figure it out.

But I guess I DO know how she feels somewhat. Very, very, very unfortunately, my own mother is not around and there are times that I’d love to ask her about a certain recipe. Luckily, she left a very detailed recipe box and I have various family members that cook well and have good memories, so I’ve never been completely stumped.

Let’s use this as a lesson, though. Even if your kids can’t stomach being in the kitchen with you (okay, it’s MY kids I’m talking about), WRITE DOWN what you’re doing, especially if it’s a favorite dish. Many years, I give my brother and sister-in-law a favorite recipe for Christmas, plus the pot to cook it in and the other accoutrements needed to cook it. That’s a good thing to give to grown children too. That’s the one thing this episode encouraged me to continue.

Danny plans to serve a Blood Orange Lemonade. Rebecca even squeezes some of the fruit. He mixes 1 cup lemon juice, 1 cup blood orange juice and simple syrup. They cut orange wedges and add sparking water to the mixture. He adds a bit of mint and Danny pours. They toast to Mom.

He spoons the rice in bowls and then the gumbo goes over. She loves it and says it’s to die for. Her mom would be so proud. Okay, unless Mom is on a long, long trip, she’s definitely not coming back to taste it.

This mystery hangs heavy (in my mind at least) during the entire show. By the end of the episode, no other explanation seems plausible. It must be that her mother has gone to her reward.

That’s kind of a downer, especially for a episode that was shown on Mother’s Day weekend. Well, Rebecca, you’ll just have to take Danny’s word for it that you’ve made a good gumbo. In the future, write your recipes down and don’t depend on an energetic Englishman to capture the true essence of your mother’s Cajun cooking. And, Danny, find a real kitchen to cook in next time.

LIVESTRONG DAY

Doing good means you can still eat good well. In honor of LIVESTRONG DAY, Barbara at Winos and Foodies in a moving post about living with cancer, has put together a splendid array of recipes in an event called A Taste Of Yellow. Each dish features the color yellow and there are some beauties.

I contributed my Chicken Curry Pizza, but I intend to try some of these other wonderful recipes: Mini Passion Fruit Cheesecake with Passionfruit Curd; Chilled Mango Soup with Lime Cashew Cream and Coconut Noodles; Lemon and Coconut Rice Pudding Layered with Pineapple and Banana and so many more!

Thanks, Barbara, again, for the opportunity to participate.

Stay well.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

If you are a mother, I hope all your dreams come true. If you HAVE a mother, I hope you MAKE all her dreams come true!

Cute Curtis, Adorable Tyler,

Oh, And Ingrid Was There Too

Why can't Top Chef truncate their challenges to less than half an hour, like Oprah did on her latest show? The last half of her show was dedicated to a Sandwich Showdown. 3 viewers competed to come up with winning sandwich entries.

This competition was the aftermath to a feature with Gayle going around the country tasting great sandwiches everywich (get it?) where. I must say she does wrap her mouth (and teeth) around a sandwich in a not at all unattractive way. And that can't be easy.

During the Sandwich Showdown, the 3 contestants were surprised when their favorite celebrity chefs - Curtis, Tyler and Ingrid - came out to help them. They were all warm and wonderful. Yes, Ingrid too.

Curtis was flirtatious, Tyler was a big hugging machine and Ingrid was genuinely enthusiastic with her gal. One of the provisos, which was kind of pointless, was that they had to make a sandwich that they had never made before. Who was going to be the judge of that?

They showed some funny stuff as the teams went shopping at Whole Foods. Ingrid was about to punch out the fish guy for giving all the lobster to Curtis. Curtis was more interested in playing with the melons and dropping things than shopping. Tyler was pretty much on task.

The judges were Oprah, Gayle and Padma. And they only wasted a little time with Gayle doing some very short interviews with the participants as they finished their tasks.

The best part was the chowing-down. Oprah tasted the first sandwich and was starting to rave about how marvelous it was. Then she remembered she was supposed to have a poker face. With her cheeks full of pot roast, she stopped smiling and tried to look serious. It happened with each sandwich.

The actual sandwiches all looked good. It seemed pretty clear it was all up to the chefs and the ladies were just there for the fabulous prize. The winner was to win tons of Kenmore appliances and pots and stuff.

They gave the win to Tyler. (I wasn’t surprised. His WAS awesome.) But then they gave the prize (worth $7000) to EACH of them. There was jubilation all around.

Oprah had Padma explain in technical terms why Tyler won – lots of different flavors in the same sandwich. Oprah and Gayle said they just liked it A LOT.

I like a food show with lots of hugging and mugging. And, Gayle, keep up those jaw stretching exercises. They’re obviously serving you well.

Which Top Chef Wedding Buffet Was Worse? Hard To Judge

The latest episode starts with Andrew and Spike playing around. Uh oh, which one does that mean is leaving?

They show Nikki’s cleavage. What could THAT mean?

The Quickfire challenge begins. Tom is there, which the chefs are curious about. The ante is being upped, Padma says and the winner doesn’t get immunity this week, just an advantage in the Elimination Challenge.

They’re bringing back an all time favorite challenge - the relay race, which “cheerful” Tom particularly likes. They divide into 2 teams: Stephanie, Antonia, Richard and Andrew. And Dale, Nikki, Spike and Lisa. I remember that relay race with Hung going through those chickens like they were tissue paper. So does Stephanie.

They don’t have long to figure out who is going to do what. The tasks: Cutting oranges into pithed and peeled “supremes”, preparing artichoke hearts and leaving the stem on (after peeling it), filleting a huge ugly monkfish, and making mayonnaise by hand.

Dale is completely fed up with Nikki being scared of making mayo. “Why are you still here?” he says about her to the camera.

They start with the oranges, Lisa versus Antonia. Lisa is shaking, but going really fast. She wins that one. Then Spike goes against Andrew with the artichokes. Spike’s team loses its lead, because he destroys an artichoke and Andrew is going really fast.

Richard has to fillet the monkfish against Dale. They‘re both really fast. They finish at the same time. Finally, Steph makes mayo against Nikki. Stephanie finishes first. Dale gets really mad, hits a locker and curses.

The Elimination Challenge is a variation of Restaurant Wars. It’s Wedding Wars. They get introduced to a bride and groom, who are getting married…THE NEXT DAY. The chefs have to cater the wedding. WHO WOULD DO THAT? Who would leave the catering of their wedding to a REALITY SHOW and only have it handled the day before?!! Plus the bride and groom own a restaurant and catering venue and so they know exactly what to look for and how really crazy it is to do this.

The winning team gets to choose which team to cook for: the bride’s or the groom’s. There will be 125 guests for each one. Richard’s team takes the bride’s side. Spike says they’re complete morons. Yeah, WHO would do that?

Andrew: “I have a culinary boner right now.” I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole.

The groom says he loves bruschetta and Italian food. He and Nikki hit it off perfectly.

The bride says she loves anything fried. She and Richard are both from the Atlanta area and they bond over that. Andrew makes a terrible suggestion of chicken nuggets.

Nikki says Dale doesn’t work well with others. Dale says, “No one really likes each other on this team.” And he doesn’t think his teammates are that strong. They are heavily depending on Nikki. I think that cleavage may be a sign that she’ll be gone.

Two from each team go to the Restaurant Depot for supplies. The other two go to Whole Foods. They have to get flowers AND make a wedding cake ??!! Okay, you will never hear me say this again, but… shhhhh…what about Duncan Hines?

Lisa says she’s relying on Nikki…wow, she’s usually fairly strong-minded.

Antonia is doing the majority of the hors d’oeuvres for her team. She’s confident that everyone knows what he or she is doing. Steph is doing the cake. Oh, listen, she actually says that she’s sure that the bride doesn’t want her to make some kind of Susie Homemaker Duncan Hines cake. That’s funny.

Nikki doesn’t want to be the leader, so when people ask her questions she doesn’t take a stand.

They cook through the night. I’m feeling a little exhausted myself. Lisa thinks Dale is doing a poor job, because he’s doing so many things. Well, who gave him so many dishes? His teammates.

Nikki is making fresh pasta. She’s worried about Dale’s ragu because they have different philosophies for making it. Huh?!? Dale says she wants control over things, but doesn’t want to take responsibility for any decisions. I agree. They’re all tired. Andrew stops talking. Spike starts blathering.

Tom comes in with a smirk on his face. He’s told it will be meat and potatoes for the bride’s team and Italian food for the groom’s. Tom asks Dale what dishes he’s working on and he’s so tired he can’t think of the name of any of them.

Tom says that the Italian side is easier. He’s worried about the cake that Lisa is making, going so far as to call it almost ugly. He says the meat and potatoes menu needs to be seasoned really well.

Richard remarks that they have all the food done, he just hopes they’re going to be able to stay awake to serve it.

Wedding guests arrive. Bride goes down the aisle. Seriously, what kind of people would have a wedding like this? I guess ones that want a free reception. But didn’t they ever hear that you get what you pay for?

Padma comes and introduces the judges they already know (as if they’ve never seen them before) and Gale Gand. She’s cool.

They cut to the vows. They cut to the weddding cake being carefully set up. The champagne is being served. Tom is eating up all the attention. The hors d’oeuvres go out. The mother of the bride is happy. Why shouldn’t she be? She didn’t have to give up her retirement for a wedding.

Yowza! What is Padma wearing? A red, rather low-cleavaged dress, with a flower in her hair.

Dale cut the bread for the bruschetta and it’s too thick and too hard. That is why I hate bruschetta for hors d’oeuvres, no matter the occasion. It’s impossible to eat. I would rather cut the bread into croutons and throw it in a bowl with whatever the topping is and call it panzanella.

They introduce the couple to the dining room. Oh, I forgot it’s a buffet. Andrew is staying in the kitchen, because Antonia says he’s not allowed to talk to the guests.

Dale is cooking all the hot food himself. That’s probably not a great idea. Now he can be blamed for more things.

The bride tries the food. Richard wants to know if she likes it. Someone or other likes the spinach with star anise.

Richard is talking to the guests too much. Padma says the brisket is delicious. Tom LOVES the horseradish sauce. He says the chicken is the worst thing on the plate.

The groom serves himself antipasto.

Okay this is getting really confusing. Here are the dishes:

Bride’s Appetizers
Pizza
Pulled Pork Sandwich
Short Ribs & Blue Cheese in Phyllo
Bride’s Buffet
Crispy Chicken
Brisket
Filet Mignon
Creamed Spinach
Potato Gratin
Bride’s Cake
Dark Chocolate & Lemon

Groom’s Appetizers
Assorted Flatbreads
Bruschetta
Groom’s Buffet
Tortellini
Mixed Vegetables & Cheeses
Filet Mignon
Chilean Sea Bass
Orecchiette with Ragu
Groom’s Cake
Chocolate Hazelnut

Padma says the tortellini are too sweet. Tom likes the ragu. Someone said the bride’s team is better. Even the bride told the groom that she was sure he likes her side better. They cut the cakes…already?

The groom’s cake IS kinda ugly. They like the taste of the groom’s cake. Guests like the bride’s cake.

Based on scenes of what’s coming up, they want us to believe that Dale is in danger. I absolutely refuse to believe that Dale is going home because of the bruschetta. I just don’t think it’s going to happen.

Nikki just may be it, because she was the defacto leader and several of her dishes stank.

They wait for the judges to call them in. All are yawning.

They call in the bride’s team. Tom wonders WHY they picked that team. Me too. Richard says because it’s all about keeping the bride happy. DUH! That’s WHY you shouldn’t have picked the bride. Brides are notoriously difficult to please, especially a bride in the biz.

The judges hated the chicken and the spinach. Andrew made it. Even with that, they preferred the bride’s team's catering. The judges were impressed with the wedding cake which Stephanie made. Richard made the brisket, which was perfect. The winner is...RICHARD. He said he’d like to give his prize to Stephanie. Stephanie said let’s share it, so they split a gift certificate to Crate and Barrel for $2000. That is really sweet of Richard.

The groom’s team goes in. Please pick Nikki, please pick Nikki, not Dale.

They ask who did each dish and who was driving the bus? Nikki rushes to answer (a little too quickly) “Definitely, not me”. Then she puts the idea of the poorly executed antipasto bar squarely on the groom.

They go through all the dishes that were bad. Spike, I think, says, “Dale you’re such a little bitch, bro”, after Dale accurately reports that most of the cooking was put on him. Oh goodness, just because Dale picked up all the slack, don’t make him leave.

The judges discuss that Spike didn’t seem to do too much. And they agree that Dale had too much to do. Nikki was a major disappointment because she didn’t take the lead. RIGHT! Go with her. I think they will. Lisa seems safe, because they liked the taste of that cake. It’s gotta be Nikki…not Dale, not Dale, not Dale.

Ok, back from commercial and it’s…NIKKI. The boys hug. Nikki says she's proud of herself. She has a restaurant to go home to. She hugs various of them and actually doesn’t seem that sad to go.

And what about the bride and groom? I thought their input was going to factor into this whole thing. Obviously, they were involved in other things, but we shouldn’t have been promised feedback from them and have it not happen.

Plus, there was so much to cover in the episode that I felt like nothing was covered that well. Frankly, I think the Bridezilla type shows do a better job of showing the chaos and behind the scenes stuff. It should be easier on Top Chef, because we mostly care about the food, not all the other issues.

At the end of the day, Dale showed his mettle and, I believe, he’s cemented his place (with Richard) in the final. Yes, THAT is what I am predicting at this incredibly early (well, not that early, but at least not 3 minutes before the end) date. Dale will triumph over Richard, because if he doesn’t, he’ll punch his lights out…