Ina Cooks, People Rave

Barefoot Contessa with Ina Garten

Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
Shrimp Bisque
Strawberry Scones
Portobello Mushroom Lasagna

To get the recipes:
Click here

Ina is going to have a fun day of testing recipes. She says she's always trying to improve on classic Barefoot recipes. The first one she’s tackling is the Barefoot Contessa scone recipe.

She combines flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in the mixer. Ina tells us the key to light flaky scones is cold butter. She mixes that in until she gets pea-sized pieces. Then she beats 4 extra large (Ina, Ina, Ina…I‘m going with large) eggs into 1 cup of cold heavy cream. She adds that to the flour mixture. The dough is really wet, “wetter dough - moister scones”. She mixes dried strawberries with a tablespoon of flour and adds that to the dough. I know people do that, but I have never floured anything to prevent sinking. I don’t seem to have a sinking problem.

Ina roots around in her pantry for something else to add. Funny…when I do that, stuff lands on my head and I always drops cans on my feet. She decides on walnuts and orange peel. I swear, I was silently thinking orange peel would be an obvious choice.

She mixes the additions into half the dough. She leaves the other half plain, and pats out the dough on the countertop using A LOT of flour. She cuts out the scones using a really nifty SQUARE fluted cutter and cuts them in half diagonally. She brushes an egg wash (with milk) on top and they go into a 400 deg. Fahrenheit oven for 20 to 25 minutes.

We see Ina driving to her office to do a scone taste test. Everyone liked the orange and walnuts ones. I KNEW IT! I voted for the orange ones before she even baked them.

Next, she goes to a farm to get some wild mushrooms. Gosh, they look amazing. The recipe calls for portobellos, but Ina’s going more exotic. She chooses blue oyster and king mushrooms - both absolutely gorgeous looking.

For the lasagna, Ina adds oil to boiling water. (I don’t do that, do you? Someone once said that all that does is to give you greasy water.) She adds salt and then the noodles. They get cooked for 8 to 10 minutes.

The Contessa moves on to a béchamel sauce. She melts one stick of butter (wow!) and stirs in ½ cup of flour. She cooks it for one minute, stirring all the time. She adds 1 quart of heated milk, salt, pepper and some ground nutmeg. (She didn’t grind it FRESH?!) She stirs it until it simmers and thickens.

The mushrooms are sliced and Ina cooks them in butter and oil in 2 batches (each batch for 5 minutes), so that they sauté and not steam. Ina drains the pasta. She pours some of the white sauce on the bottom of an 8” by 12” dish. (Aren’t most dishes 9” by 13“?) Some lasagna noodles go on top of that. You can cut them to fit, if you need to. More sauce on top of that followed is by one third of the mushrooms. Then she sprinkles over a quarter cup of Parmesan cheese. The layers gets repeated: noodles, white sauce, mushrooms, parm, noodles, sauce, cheese, DONE.

Wait, we’re missing a layer of mushrooms. I consult the recipe. Ina just forgot to mention one layer of mushrooms. Thank goodness I was paying attention, or there would be have been some wild mushrooms hanging out uselessly.

Here come the gals again. Is this all they do all day? Wait for Ina to make luscious things and pretend to be taste-testing them. You know, they never find fault with anything. She’d probably whack them with a cast iron pan. Come to think of it, have you EVER seen a cooking show where the people being fed actually say, “this tastes really nasty“? Goodness knows it happens enough in real life…I guess we don’t need to see it on television.

Surprise, surprise, everyone loves Ina’s lasagna. “It‘s so creamy.” “Delicious.” Ina says, “Not bad.” She types the recipe into the computer. “The mushrooms are so meaty, who needs meat?” Of course, the half gallon of white sauce didn’t hurt.

Ina has acquired fish stock from somewhere and adds shrimp shells to flavor it up. She softens 2 cups of carefully cleaned leeks in olive oil. (I don’t think a bit of butter would be out of place here.) She stirs in garlic and cayenne and then the shrimp and cooks them for 3 minutes.

Next, Ina adds not only sherry, but cognac, to the shrimp. Yum! (I like to serve a glass of sherry with my bisque and then folks can either drink it or pour it into the soup…or both.) “THAT smells like shrimp bisque, shrimp and sherry…so classic”, so says the Contessa. She purees the soup until chunky. (Personally, I like it on the smooth side).

Ina explains that a white sauce will be the base of the soup. She melts half a stick of butter, stirs in a quarter cup of flour and cooks it on low heat for a minute to cook the flour. She adds 2 cups of half and half (of course, she does). She cooks it until thick. She adds the shrimp purée and 3 ¾ cups of fish stock and 1/3 cup tomato paste and A LOT of salt and pepper. She heats it gently until hot.

Ina pours a nice glass of white wine for herself. She makes up a pretty wicker tray (I would NEVER trust myself to carry a full wine glass on a wicker tray.) Soup goes in a rustic white bowl. HALF A BAGUETTE goes on a lovely orange napkin. (I’m not saying I wouldn’t eat half a baguette, but I sure as heck wouldn’t advertise it on my cooking show. I would put a sliver on the tray and hide the rest between my knees.)

Ina sits down at her computer and tastes the soup. It’s wonderful. I am SOOO making that, but the two cups of half and half will become one and a half cups of stock and half a cup of cream. After all, I have to save calories somewhere, if I’m eating all that bread.

Giddy Up, Michael

Easy Entertaining with Michael Chiarello

Spaghetti Western
Skillet-Fried Corn and Tomatoes
Meatballs in BBQ Gravy
Grilled Spaghetti
Grilled Roasted Garlic-Rosemary Bread

To get the recipes:
Click here

Michael is doing a tribute to the spaghetti westerns that he's loved all his life. His homage involves taking some Italian dishes and giving them a Western spin, including GRILLING spaghetti. THIS, I have to see.

MC cuts 1 pound of bacon into lardons. He's making a kind of sofrito base. "The ORDER your ingredients go in is as important as what your ingredients are." I couldn't have said it any better myself. In fact, I recently ranted about that. Michael adds some olive oil to the pan, so the bacon doesn't stick. While that's cooking, he chops his vegetables to show us the most time-efficient way to do stuff. That's just one reason he can be called chef.

Garlic goes in first to get lightly browned. Make sure you keep a good watch on that, because it can burn in an instant, bitter-izing the entire dish. Then he adds his onions, celery and carrots to the bacon and, lastly, rosemary, so that it gets "cooked in" with the vegetables. THIS is the order he's talking about.

He stirs the pot, telling us to use a little bit of shoulder and a little bit of elbow "to really get down into the pot with your wooden spoon“. He stirs vigorously to get all the brown bits off the bottom. He cooks it 6 to 7 minutes until the veggies are light brown and adds 3 tablespoons of vinegar, 2 tablespoons of sugar and a little glass of Chianti to make an agridulce sauce. He boils away the wine until “just its bare essence is left. (Plus) the acid of the vinegar and wine has cleaned the bottom of the pan.”

Michael adds tomato paste, which he tells us is tomato juice, which has had all its liquid removed, and stirs for a minute. Then he adds a can of chipotle chilies (smoked jalapenos in adobo sauce) and chopped tomatoes in their own juice. (Never buy tomatoes in purée, he advises us. It's too sweet.) He adds salt and pepper and cooks the sauce for 1 to 1 ½ hours.

For the meatballs, he places 1 pound of ground sirloin in a bowl. He adds chopped onion and garlic (from his choppie chop). The other ingredients for the meatballs make up a long list: oregano, dry breadcrumbs, egg, a dash of woooshie sauce (just kidding, but he did stumble on the pronunciation a bit) plus salt, pepper, parsley and basil, which has also been choppie-chopped.

Wait, he’s not done yet. A couple tablespoons of Parmesan go in. His secret ingredient is a half cup of cold water to keep the meatballs moist. (I use ketchup in mine for that.) He squishes all the ingredients together. “Here’s the big controversy. Do you fry them or boil them?” Oh my, I didn’t know THAT was even an issue.

Remember when I ripped into Rachael for lazily throwing her meatballs into the sauce without browning them first? Well, my, gosh, is it possible?…Could it be?…Was I wrong to malign RR? MC says that he doesn’t brown his either. He POACHES them…in water. Huh??! Whah? Never heard of that.

You know, there’s stuff I know, a lot of stuff, but there is also stuff I don’t know and I will never pretend to know something I don’t. THIS I’ve never heard of. THAT’S the reason I like to watch the Food Network in the first place - to learn something new - which IS becoming much rarer these days.

Okay, back to the action. Michael pours water into a wide sauté pan and brings it to a simmer. He wets his hands well and forms large meatballs. He places them in the barely simmering water. They steam for 30 to 35 minutes. How do I feel about this? I am not so sure. I trust MC, of course, his cooking is unimpeachable, but STEAMING meatballs???

We come back from a break to see a gorgeous horse being saddled. Saddle ‘em up, Michael! Oh, it’s woman…A pretty one.

Michael starts preparing the corn dish. He places an ear of corn in the center of a bundt pan and cuts off the kernels, letting them fall into the pan. Very clever. He minces half a Serrano chili, seeds and all. Hey, lookie here! (Not to sound like Ingrid.) Michael is chopping his garlic clove the way you classically chop an onion. His masterful horizontal, then vertical slicing results in a tiny perfect dice. I never thought of doing it that way.

I must say, I almost always use a garlic press and I also remove the green stem. Old wives tell us that that is the indigestible part of the garlic clove.

Michael puts some extra virgin olive oil in a pan. He adds the garlic. He tells us to tilt the pan bringing all the oil to the edge, so the garlic cooks in a kind of bath of oil. This prevents it from burning. So clever.

Next the chilies go in, then the ears of corn. He shakey shakes the pan. Do it, Michael! (He’s the best tosser of ingredients in a sauté pan on the FN). He adds salt and pepper. HEY! INGRID! He’s seasoning his layers. Watch and learn!

He adds 2 cups of tomato puree. No spoon for him…just shakey shake.

Michael tells us about a quick way to roast garlic. He puts 10 cloves of garlic in a little frying pan with ¼ cup of extra virgin olive oil. He turns the heat to high and when the garlic begins to bubble, he turns it down. The cloves get turned once and cooked low and slow for 7 or 8 minutes.

The meatballs look exactly how you think steamed meatballs would look: grey and institutional. But the sauce is SO robust, it just may be ok.

He puts the corn in a Le Creuset type pan, so it can be kept hot on the grill. He adds butter and chives to the top and will stir them in just before serving.

The meatball water (ewww!) goes into the sauce to thin it a bit. MC places the meatballs in another Le Creuset pot and pours the smoky pasta sauce over. While he boils the pasta, he removes the roasting garlic from the pan. He smashes it in a mortar and pestle with salt and pepper and the rosemary that he rescued from the garlic pan. He beats in one stick of unsalted butter to finish up the garlic butter.

Michael cuts a baguette in half lengthwise. He drizzles the bread with the oil left in the garlic pan. Yum! Then he spreads over the garlic butter AND THEN he sprinkles over ½ cup of Parmesan cheese. He puts it back together. “That’s a manwich.” Right you are, Michael. He wraps the whole thing in foil.

We come back to Michael riding his horse with some babe and a really cute dog. Oh, he tells us it’s his friend, Janet Trefethen. Trefethen is the winery where he tapes his shows. “She’s the fifth in the world on 3rd year cutting horses.” I have no idea what that means, but it sounds impressive.

Michael has brought everything out to the grill. The spaghetti is cooked half-way and tossed with some olive oil. He places it on a grill pan on the barbecue and actually cooks it on the grill for 3 or 4 minutes.

Janet leads the horse over. Michael says to think of the spaghetti like fried Chinese noodles - brown, crispy and smoky. Okay, I get what he’s after now. He places the spaghetti in a bowl and ladles some sauce and meatballs over, mixing well. “Anyone can WATCH a spaghetti western, we wanted to see if we could actually cook one,” he explains to Janet.

She pours the Trefethen Merlot. It looks like a 2003. (I saw the bottle…I couldn’t tell when they poured it, for goodness sake.) He adds a little Parmesan on top, serves Janet the Western Spaghetti, corn and garlic bread and they enjoy a great lunch, inches from their horses, vineyards and the beautiful landscape of Napa.

The World's Most Expensive Desserts: Now, WHY Would I Be Interested?

My friend A, sent me this slideshow, The 10 Most Expensive Desserts In The World.* I guess my reputation among my friends and family, particularly H(usband), is that I like food much more when it's really expensive. Just because I took him to the (almost) most expensive restaurant on the planet (and it wasn't really very good) doesn't mean I feel that way.

I have to admit there WAS a time when I did think the most expensive item on the menu was going to be the best. And forget about going to a Prix Fixe dinner or lunch with me. I ALWAYS ordered the stuff that had the supplement, so a 30 dollar set price meal somehow was never less than 70. Was it MY fault they charged extra for all the good stuff?

Anyway, look at these desserts. They're pretty awesome. Are they worth the price? Of course not. Would it be great to have one just to be able to talk about it for the rest of your life? Absolutely. And having a good story to tell IS worth quite a lot...

* Click on the link, and then move the slideshow along with the arrows on the top right of the page.

Gordon Ramsay Does Larry

There was something slightly discomfiting about the way Gordon Ramsay answered the same question over and over on Larry King last night. After talking about his abusive father, he refused to see to any connection between his early years and his over-the-top anger. Larry was less annoying than usual as he intimated, as did various callers, that what he dishes out in the kitchen mirrors this childhood abuse.

Gordon tried to explain it away by saying that it takes THAT kind of passion when striving for unparalleled excellence. He repeated several times that slinging a burger or making a Caesar salad is one thing, but, what he does, requires an almost inhuman effort.

When asked by Larry if he was still angry at his father, he said he forgave him, but couldn't forget. Then Larry asked him about his own family. "Everything my father did, I'm doing the opposite"...as a father, even though he described himself as "never (being) a hands-on Daddy." I thought that was rather sad. I'm sure when he's home, he's a wonderful engaging father, but kids actually like to spend time with both parents.

I know his explosive personality is obviously what makes him so compelling to watch. And, obviously, he knows what he's talking about when it has to with food and restaurant kitchens. But I still would have preferred it if he had just come out and said, yes, a bad temper is in his blood...that he saw it modeled by his father for so long, and that's how HE learned to deal with conflict. A little self-knowledge goes a long way and it would probably make us watch him even more, if we knew he struggled to keep certain elements of his personality under control.

I believe you CAN have culinary mastery without fireworks in the kitchen, but of course he wouldn’t be half as much fun to watch and it’s as much about that as it is his cooking (at least in his television career). And he is gloriously unrepentant, which, I guess, we also like.

The cooking segment of the show consisted of Gordon showing Larry how to deal with his schmear, and, no, I’m not talking about what happens in an awkward moment in a doctor’s office. I’m talking about what Larry does to his bagel. AND it just goes to show that Gordon CAN teach in a calm and kind way, even if he did say something rather awful about Larry.

Larry showed Gordon his normal method. He put a tiny amount of cream cheese on an (untoasted) bagel with a little red onion and one slice of smoked salmon. Gordon was appalled that he was so stingy with the cream cheese. Larry tried to explain that's why he was thin. But think about it... Larry is probably 109 years old and they say those calorie restrictive diets can make you live a really long time…not that it would be worth it.

Anyway, Gordon said to Larry, “You’re as tight as a camel’s bottom in a desert storm.” I’m not sure if Larry understood him or even heard him, but it was priceless.

Gordon showed him how to do the proper schmear. And in just this little tiny demonstration, he showed his virtuosity. He spread the cream cheese with the BACK of the spoon (much more effective than the way Larry did it.) He put on just a little tomato, no onions - "bad for the breath". He sprinkled over a bit of DRAINED capers, and then rolled up THREE slices of smoked salmon and arranged them just beautifully on the bagel. It DID look glorious. BUT he didn't have to yell at Larry to accomplish that.

Gordon Ramsay without his temper would be like a volcano without the lava, I know that. I just wish he KNEW where his temper came from, because it seems so obvious to those of us watching from our armchairs.

Chocolate and Fair Trade Lovers

There's a way we can do some good AND get a whole lot of great chocolate recipes at the same time. What could be better than that?

Rachel, on her blog R khooks (Rachel "khooks". Get it? That's clever) is joining the campaign against child slave labor in the production of cocoa and chocolate by running a competition for the best chocolate recipe, using fair trade chocolate, of course.

Check out her website and enter too. The deadline is October 5th. I think she's letting readers do the voting. THAT might be dangerous, but I intend to triumph, because chocolate is my middle name. So check out her blog and mine too, in the coming weeks.

Twinkie Lovers Of The World Unite!

Could it be that our health conscious lifestyles may actually force Twinkies to go out of business? Gosh, I hope not.

I have to say I probably haven't bought any in over 10 years, but just the idea of a world without Twinkies bothers me. This article may have scared me into the middle shelf of the snack aisle more regularly than every decade.

It turns out that it's not only because of health concerns that Twinkies are in jeopardy. There are apparently union issues to be worked out. I think the workers should just be given a case of Twinkies a day (in addition to a fair wage and decent health benefits, of course) and everyone will be happy.

Let's hope for a peaceful world, where Twinkies can coexist with healthy lifestyles, union workers and shareholders alike!

Ingrid's Still On? Never Mind, Let's Talk Onions...Plus A Little Rant

Simply Delicioso with Ingrid Hoffmann

Coco Loco
Caribbean Salmon with Guava Barbecue Sauce and Mango Veggie Salsa
Best Basic White Rice
Coconut Popsicles
Pineapple Mojitos

To get the recipes:
Click here

HEY!!! INGRID, YOU'RE STILL HERE?

I guess so.

Ingrid begins the show by telling us that she loves barbecue sauce and she makes a Spanglish version of it. She gives us her favorite Chica Tip - she puts onions in the fridge for 10 minutes before she is going to use them.

To tell you the truth, this is legitimate advice, but Ingrid would never tell you WHY. There are sulfur compounds in onions, which get released when you cut into them. These compounds are attracted to water...in your eyes, for example, and are converted to acids. That causes the stinging we feel when chopping onions. Chilling them seems to prevent this toxic chemical reaction.

But there are other solutions out there too. If you run water, supposedly the sulfur compounds are attracted to THAT, instead of your eyes. (I've never found that to work too well.)

"They" also say you can stop the crying if you put something between the onions and your eyes - a piece of bread in your mouth, or stick out your tongue. The bread I don't exactly get, but the tongue kind of makes sense. The chemicals will be attracted to the moisture in your tongue, instead of your eyes.

One place suggested using a wet knife and wet cutting board. I haven't tried that one yet. OR WEAR GOGGLES OR A SNORKELLING MASK!!! Ummm... You know what? I think I'll just go with the tears.

There is one onion-related thing I've noticed in my long years of cooking. I wonder if you have too. Summer onions almost never make me cry, but in January or February, I'm bawling. I just thought it was because the summer onions were younger and after they're stored for the winter, they get stronger. That's sort of right. It turns out that the onions that we're using in the winter are called "storage onions" and the fact that they have a larger amount of sulfuric compounds than the younger summer onions is what makes them last longer.

I actually keep my onions in the fridge, but I go through them pretty quickly. They can go bad and get mushy if you don't get to them. I guess chilling them is the best answer, but I kind of like the idea of someone wearing goggles, sticking out her tongue and chopping her onions perhaps in a bathtub full of water. (The goggles will come in handy.)

Oh, darn, Ingrid's still here. She's chopping 2 of the largest onions I've ever seen, with nary a goggle in sight, and cooking them in vegetable oil.

She gets guava paste from the cupboard. She really likes its "tarty", lemony flavor. (Don't say it.) She slices two-thirds of it and adds it to the onions. Then she adds star anise.

There are basically only 2 things I hate in the world of food...the first is tarragon, the second is star anise.

She adds 1/2 teaspoon of allspice plus 1/4 teaspoon of curry powder. Really, why bother? Plus, she should have added that to the onions and cooked it for three minutes over super low heat. Then she adds apple cider and dark rum. Bluh! I was with her on the guava paste, but dark rum? The last thing to go in is tomato paste. That cooks for 15 minutes.

She sprays a foil lined baking sheet with Pam and puts a piece of salmon on it. Then Ingrid washes her hands incredibly well. The kitchen police must have really been on her from that first completely unsanitary episode.

She rolls 2 limes on the board and squeezes the juice into the barbecue sauce. She takes out the star anise. She spoons quite a lot of barbecue sauce on the salmon and lets it sit for 15 minutes, which she doesn't mention in the recipe.

Now she starts on the salsa by peeling two cloves of garlic. "I'll be pasting them"??! Ingrid, we actually call that CRUSHING the garlic, but whatever. She mashes the garlic into the salt on the board, really smashing the garlic to work it until it's fine. She whisks olive oil with 2 limes worth of juice and the salty garlic and sets it aside in the fridge.

"It's time to play with my peppers and serrano chiles." Ingrid cuts the tops and bottoms off the peppers and pushes the insides out in one piece. She's very proud of herself, except that she wastes an awful lot of the pepper that way. She chops the serrano chile after removing the seeds and veins. She even washes her hands after. Then Ingrid chops her (refrigerated) half a red onion. "Time to tango with a mango." Well, baby, I'd love to see you tango, much more than cook. Hey, have you noticed that she hasn't said baby in an episode or two? Do you think the folks at the FN told her to knock it off? Probably not. Maybe Mom did.

Ok, this is her dealing with a mango in a weird way again. She did it on another show, as well. She peels the mango with a potato peeler and then cuts them off in large slices and then dices them. I'm not sure what the advantage is of doing it that way.

Then she chops her fav, cilantro, but not nearly enough and adds black beans to her salsa. "It's all about seasoning your layers." I would agree with her there, except for one thing...SHE DIDN'T. She seasoned the whole thing together when it was in the bowl. That's kind of funny, I just checked the recipe. NOPE, not there either.

Ingrid, do you even know what you're talking about? Seasoning "your layers" is dealing with each ingredient separately, sometimes with just salt and pepper or with other herbs and spices and flavorings.

For example, in a ratatouille, I always sauté each ingredient separately. For the zucchini, I might flavor the oil first with garlic and then add salt and pepper as I sauté. For the eggplant, I would toss that in advance in some olive oil and add garlic just at the end of the sautéing time. The peppers gets a quick bath of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper and then go on a high heat for a very short time. Then I put it all together for a final simmering with tomatoes. But the point is each ingredient would taste great on its own. In Ingrid's case, she just threw everything together, which is fine, but then don't say YOU'RE LAYERING THE FLAVORS! Where am I? Oh, back in the kitchen with Ms. Hoochie Coochie, wait, that was Charo, wasn't it?

Next Ingrid shows us how to make rice. She mixes 2 cups of long grain white rice with 4 cups of chicken stock, butter and oil. She brings it to the boil and puts her overly large scraps of peppers in. Instead of adding garbage to her rice, why doesn't she cut the peppers properly in the first place and make less waste?

We're onto the mojitos, gosh, do I need one! She muddles (at least she uses the right word) together mint leaves, sugar and wedges of lime. Then she mixes ice with white rum, soda and...get ready for the big finish here...PINEAPPLE JUICE. She pours that over the muddled mixture and pours it into glasses. She adds a sugar cane stick to each glass and garnishes with a giant wadge (yes, I said WADGE, not wedge...wedge implies some thought went into its cutting) of pineapple, which she hasn't bothered to peel. That's just what I like when I drink a mojito - a big thorny piece of pineapple skin hitting me in the face.

Ingrid broils the salmon for 12 minutes and takes it out. Now, you may be surprised by my opinion of her apparent laziness in only broiling one side of the salmon. It is actually ok not to turn it. The heat from the top will cook it through. Usually, we're used to turning things when we broil or grill, but as long as you get the top nice and charry brown, it'll be ok. If you think about it, it makes sense. When you bake a piece of fish, you don't turn it over. Here, as long as one side is nicely browned, you're fine.

Oh, now it's time for the dressing to "marry" the salsa. "The time has come for this amazing wedding." She mixes it together. Whoa! That WAS hot. NOT!

Then she gets all excited because it's "time to build (her) tiny tower of rice." She sprays the inside of the top of the can of Pam and spoons the cooked rice in. She unmolds it on the plate. Everybody knows you can do that, right? The rice can even have been sitting on the back of the stove for a half hour. Of course, I don't use a can top, I use a little pyrex bowl, which needs no Pam.

She spoons the salsa on the plate and cuts a big piece of fish (not terribly cleanly) and lays it on there. She throws on some cilantro and a little more barbecue sauce. "Food done. Party on." She serves each plate individually. They look ok, but not like she needs her own television show to show us this.

Oh joy, there's still dessert. She dips popsicles, yup, I said popsicles, in rum and then dips the edges in demerara sugar. Chopped nuts would have made more sense.

Was anything really terrible? No. Did she enlighten me at all? No, I can't say she did. Did she entertain me? Not really. Educate me? Nah, definitely not.

Here we have another wasted opportunity to spread the word about how exciting and complex Latin food can be.

It's No Mystery Why We Love Ina

The Barefoot Contessa with Ina Garten

Mystery Guest
Blini with Smoked Salmon
Cream of Wild Mushroom Soup
Parmesan Chicken

To get the recipes:
Click here

Wow, Susan Stroman, the director, is coming to dinner. "My first rule of entertaining is to get as much done (in advance) as possible." To that end, Ina is making a cream of mushroom soup, that can be made completely in advance.

She removes the stems from crimini, shitake and portabellos mushrooms and is going to use them to make stock for her soup. She chops the stems and adds them to the pot with onions, carrots and fresh thyme. Ina cooks them for 10 to 15 minutes in butter and oil or until nicely caramelized. This is a good way to clean out your vegetable drawer, she says. Just use whatever you have, as long as it will go well in the stock. Don't use broccoli, she laughs. Yeah, Contessa, I agree. That would be a real giggle.

Ina prepares her leeks properly, which means cutting the tops off at an angle in the shape of a pencil point. Then she cuts them in half lengthwise and rinses them really well under running water to get out any dirt trapped between the layers.

She chops them and cooks them in butter and oil (in a separate pot from the mushrooms) for 15 to 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, she adds 6 cups of water to the mushrooms and brings it up to a simmer. That will cook uncovered for about 20 minutes. (In general, vegetable stocks cook for a much shorter time than chicken or beef, because after 20 to 30 minutes, you've gotten all there is to get out of the vegetables.)

Ina sets about arranging her table. She likes to keep things simple to let the food speak for itself. She puts LOTS of pears on a platter to serve with cheese after the meal.

Back in the kitchen, she slices up the mushroom caps and adds them to the pan with the leeks and butter to cook for 10 minutes. The stock is ready to be strained and she presses every last bit of goodness from it.

Ina stirs in 1/4 cup of flour to the mushrooms and cooks for a minute. (In keeping with my spice rule, I also cook flour on the lowest heat possible for 3 minutes.) She pours in 1 cup of white wine, which is so clever, to get up all those delicious bits on the bottom of the pan. Then she adds fresh chopped thyme and the stock, made up to 4 1/2 cups of liquid with water. She brings it to a simmer and cooks it for 15 minutes. The final additions are some chopped parsley and, because this is the Barefoot Contessa, after all, 1 cup of cream AND 1 cup of half and half.

We Barefoot Aficionados know exactly what to do when we see that kind of richness in her recipes. We defend her right to write that in, but NEVER would we actually add that much cream and half and half.

For the 7 1/2 cups of liquid in the recipe, I would keep the wine to one cup, but increase the stock to 6 cups (just make a bit more in the beginning) and add 1/2 cup cream at the end.

I think of Ina's original recipes like haute couture on a runway. The original is awe-inspiring, somewhat shocking and often totally over the top, but, for everyday wear, the clothes are lengthened, simplified and, in general, made more user-friendly. So too with Ina's recipes. They are so well written, so tasty and so luxurious that we can afford to cut down on the richness a bit (or A LOT) and still be left with something exceedingly toothsome.

On to the blinis, and Ina heats one stick of butter to clarify it. She removes the foam from the top. Separately she mixes 1/3 cup buckwheat flour, 2/3 cup white flour, baking powder, 1 egg (extra large, of course...don't tell Ina but I'm going to use 1 large egg) plus 3/4 cup milk. Then she stirs in 2 tablespoonfuls of the clarified butter.

She adds some clarified butter to a frying pan. She pours in a small amount of blini batter and cooks five at a time. She turns them when the first side is nice and bubbly. She cooks them until they are browned.

Ina is serving them at room temperature today, so she can arrange them on a platter when they're cooked to await their finishing. She lays a piece of smoked salmon over each one, and then dots it with crème fraîche and finally a sprig of fresh dill. She places a bunch of dill in the middle of the platter. Gorgeous and completely ready for company.

Next she goes to one of her favorite shops to get some cheese to serve with her pears. She asks the gentleman’s advice on which to buy. He first suggests a 5 year old gouda. It looks positively ancient and crumbly and old-tasting (in a good way). Ina tries it. She likes it, but she isn't sure...then he suggests a Stilton (which is what she had in mind all along) and she quickly agrees. Generally, I like a cheese platter where people have a choice, but when there's one great cheese, that's all you need." I'm down with that, Contessa.

She goes home to get the Parmesan chicken ready. She adds salt and pepper to the flour. (I like the idea of salting and peppering the chicken BEFORE it goes into the flour. That way you know it's really well-seasoned.) She beats 2 eggs (guess what size?) with water and gets the breadcrumbs ready. Store-bought are fine, she says, just be sure you haven't had them forever. She adds finely grated Parmesan cheese to the crumbs. Ina whacks the chicken with a rolling pin to tenderize it and even it out. Now she's ready to coat the chicken.

This is the same basic technique that I learned, lo those many years ago, at the Cordon Bleu. You always say it like a chant - Flour, Egg, Crumb; Flour, Egg, Crumb; Flour...oh, you get the idea. It is handy in remembering the order, even if it is somewhat obvious. Ina also does something I do; she's using only one hand, keeping the other one pristine for answering the phone or emergencies. You certainly don't want your flour, egg and crumb coated fingers touching anything but the chicken, and after they've touched the chicken you don't want them touching ANYTHING ELSE at all. So that is something to keep in mind.

The beautifully coated chicken gets browned in oil and butter for 2 minutes on each side. (Say it with me! We use butter for its flavor, oil for its high smoking temperature.) Ina tells us, “If the chicken bounces back, it’s perfectly done.” She puts them on a parchment lined baking sheet pan and into a 200 degree Fahrenheit oven to keep warm.

Susan has arrived and is having drinks with Ina and Jeffrey in the living room. That would be exciting enough for me, but they await the mystery guest. We see his shoes walking up the path to the door. Ina runs (well, as much as Ina runs) to see who it is. Mel Brooks! Well, THAT is exciting! Susan worked with him on The Producers on Broadway, so I guess they're great friends. I can’t tell if Mel and Ina have ever met before, because Ina always puts her guests at ease and he's just thrilled by the free meal. He loves everything.

Ina tells Susan, “Most people bring hostess gifts. You bring MEL BROOKS.” He LOVES the soup. I think he would dive into it if he could. She promises to bring him more as she clears the bowls. But she puts them all in the sink. Ina, I don’t think he was kidding about wanting more soup. I’m afraid he’s going to run into the kitchen and drink from the pot.

The Contessa is unfazed by her famous guest and quickly whips up a lemon vinaigrette. (THAT is definitely something she could have done in advance.) Twice as much olive oil as fresh lemon juice goes in, plus salt and pepper. That’s it. She pours it over the salad. The salad goes on top of the Parmesan chicken, which has been plated individually. She finishes each serving off with shavings of fresh Parmesan. Mel holds up his plate and says, “Put this in my car.” He is entranced.

After the main course, Ina brings out the wedge of Stilton, which is the size of Brooklyn. Mel says, “What are the others having?” He adores the cheese with the pears. I adore the Contessa. Everyone is happy.

Meal Beautification By The Washington Post

This is a wonderful article that was in the Washington Post about plate garnishing. I hope the link is still available and you don't have to do that bothersome registering to get to it. It's called "Step Up To The Plate", if you have to look for it.

The most important point when individually serving a plate is not to make it look like a TV dinner, where each component is clearly assigned a certain portion of the plate. There should be more flow.

Plus, it's pointed out that each element should be made to look as attractive as possible, hence, the addition of a bit of turmeric and black sesame seeds to the couscous or a few slivers of red pepper to the green vegetable.

Go, too, to the slide show in the article, (AUDIO GALLERY: Creating a Dinner Palette), which is a nice, clear demonstration of how easy it is to make the dinner plate pop. The only jarring thing in the slide show? The really hairy hand placing the final touches on the plate. Am I the only one to notice that?

Rachael Ray - The Philosopher Cook

Oh my, I do have to wonder what's happening to me. When I see Rachael Ray in non-food settings, I don't loathe her. Perhaps it was in contrast to Larry King last night, but she came off as extremely down-to-earth AND THOUGHTFUL. Wow! More about that in a moment.

Larry asked some really inane questions. The top one was, as he was touring her television talk show kitchen, "Do you always cook something new everyday?" "No, Larry, of course not, I just use the same 3 recipes and hope that people won't notice." What a moron. She was actually so held aghast by that question that she said, "Oh my gravy, yes." Naturally, he had never heard THAT expression before.

But in retrospect, maybe it wasn't such a dumb question after all. What I hate most about RR's cooking is that it's all much of a muchness - with burgers in many different horrible guises, topping the list. But Larry didn't know that about her, so from him it was a really stupid question.

She went on to talk about what a great life she has, and how she can do her 3 favorite things: chat, cook and travel.

As they go to a break, Larry puts up a question for his audience. Get a load of this - "What is EVOO?" I'm sure he's the only one that doesn't know the answer.

What WAS slightly shocking however, was Rachael's answer. When asked, "What is EXTRA virgin olive oil?", she said - really quickly, as if trying to brush right by it - "It hasn't been filtered."

Now here is the person who is responsible for adding EVOO to the dictionary, for Pete's sake, and she doesn't actually know what it is. EXTRA virgin olive oil comes from the first cold pressing of the olives and, as an aside, is less than 1% acid. The lower the acidity, the higher quality the olive oil. The acidity of olive oil is labelled everywhere but the United States. Look at your U.S purchased olive oil, there's no acidity number anywhere on the label. The next time you're in Spain, Italy or Greece, you will see the acidity level prominently displayed on the jar or can.

AND, notwithstanding RR's explanation, extra virgin olive oil CAN be filtered OR unfiltered. This is very disheartening to me...that she inspires legions of fans to "cook", but that she doesn't know the basic facts about "EVOO". I'm not saying Larry would have understood the answer, but still...

Despite that idiotic question AND answer, here's where the philosophy part comes in. Larry asked how RR felt about all the tabloid reports of her marriage falling apart. She claims she's not at all bothered by them. Here's why:

"My grandfather had a great rule. You have two choices in life. You can either laugh or you can cry. You gotta really choose what you cry about. To waste your time (worrying about the tabloids) is just silly."

I hate to say it, but that really resonated with me. So many people bellyache about their lot in life. They complain about EVERYTHING. I think RR is right when she says you have to pick your battles. You have to choose what to get upset about, because, otherwise, you're dissipating all your energy for stuff that just isn't important.

I guess it's kinda hard to disagree with her about that. From many reports, she does live her life like that. She IS an awful cook, but I don't think that makes her an awful person. Am I actually softening on Rachael Ray? Does that make ME an awful person? But I do think she should read up on her cooking facts, especially on a product that actually has her name on it.

Grilled Chicken, Panzanella And Make Believe

Anybody that's been cooking for a long time probably feels the same way I do about using recipes. They are a guide, a starting point and a way of jogging your memory about dishes you've had in the past and combinations that you want to try in the future.

I was rustling up some grub for dinner and I saw a recipe in Bon Appétit for grilled chicken and bread salad. And it was from Farm, where H and I dined happily during our visit to Napa. And who doesn't need another grilled chicken recipe? AND I'm always interested in bread salad or panzanella.

So I looked at this recipe and instantly changed it...before I even got to the second paragraph. I'm sure it's an ok recipe, but, for some reason, I didn't want capers in my bread salad; sherry vinegar just didn't appeal to me at that moment; AND I really didn't like the way they handled the bread. So here is my Grilled Chicken and Panzanella, based on an amalgam of recipes from past and present, plus my own mistakes and discoveries in the kitchen. (You know, basically the way we all cook.)

Grilled Chicken (serves 4)

1 tbl. ancho chile pepper powder (using regular chili powder isn't the end of the world)
1 tbl. smoked paprika (no substitutions here)
1 tbl. cumin
1/2 tsp. cayenne
4 whole chicken legs, skinned

Panzanella
3 almost 1/2 inch slices country or Tuscan bread
about 1/3 cup great olive oil
Kosher salt

Dressing
2 tbls. fresh lemon juice
2 tbls. red wine vinegar
1/2 cup olive oil (roughly two-thirds great olive oil and one third everyday olive oil - just eyeball it in the measuring cup)

Salad
1 cucumber (an English one would be grand), peeled and chopped coarsely
3 tomatoes, chopped coarsely
1/2 red or yellow pepper, chopped coarsely (the idea is that these 3 vegetables should be roughly the same size)
scant 1/2 red onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup fresh parsley, finely chopped

For the chicken, measure the spices into a jar. Shake well. Salt the chicken on both sides and rub in a scant spoonful of the spices on both sides of the chicken. (You won't need all of the spice blend. Keep it in a the jar in a cool place.) Set chicken aside for 15 minutes or place back in refrigerator until 10 minutes before cooking.

Grill the chicken until nicely browned about 20 minutes on each side.

For the bread, brush the olive oil on both sides of the thick slices. Sprinkle salt very lightly on both sides, pressing it in gently. Place bread on a foiled baking sheet and broil it carefully on both sides until golden brown. Set aside for at half an hour. (All day is fine too.)



For the salad, whisk together the lemon juice, vinegar and olive oils. (I would do it in the blender.) Stir together cucumber, tomatoes, pepper and red onion. Mix in some of the dressing and set aside for up to 30 minutes.

Using a bread knife, cut the bread into largish cubes and set aside.



Just before serving, mix bread cubes and parsley into the salad, adding more dressing to moisten nicely. Plate the salad and serve with the grilled chicken.



The next day, with leftover spice rub and cooked grilled chicken, I made a Cubanesque rice dish. It's so easy, I'll describe it in a couple of paragraphs.

Soften COMPLETELY 1 onion and 1 carrot in 1 tablespoon of olive oil. Stir in 1/2 chopped red pepper and one pressed garlic clove. Add 1 to 2 tablespoons of yesterday's spice mix. Cook over LOW heat, stirring occasionally for 3 minutes.

Add 1 cup of raw brown basmati rice and 1/2 cup of raw red rice (it's SOOOOOO good). Or use all brown rice. Stir over low heat for one minute. Add 3 cups of liquid, which can be stock, tomato juice, orange juice and/or water or preferably a combination of whatever you like. (I used one can of vegetable stock made up to 3 cups with water.) Bring to the boil - an hysterical boil - cover, turn down to low and cook UNDISTURBED for 45 minutes.

Meanwhile, drain and rinse a can of black beans. Stir them into the rice as soon as the 45 minutes is up. Leave the pot, covered, on the back of the stove until you're ready to serve. It will stay hot for 30 minutes. After that, you may have to zap it a bit. Serve with the leftover grilled chicken and make someone very happy.



Where does the make believe come in, you ask? Just before serving, I cut up a beautifully ripe nectarine and pretended it was a mango.



H didn't notice the difference and I thought the fruity note in my nicely spiced rice was perfect.
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Happy New Year!!!

I wish much health and happiness to my Jewish family and friends.

This Is Definitely Not Food Related

Is that ok? After posting about my problems with word verification, I found this post, "Senior Citizens and Technology", on another blog. The reason it's so funny to me is because, although I'm not quite as bad as this particular blogger's parents, I could be. If I didn't have computer, digital, video, cable and text-savvy kids, I would be completely lost.

Don't tell my aunt I told you this. But when she heard her daughter tell her other daughter that she would fax a recipe* to her, she said, "Oh, could you fax that to me, too?" She had no fax machine or even a computer. And she had no idea that you NEEDED an actual fax machine to send or receive faxes.

Thanks, Cuz, for ratting out your poor mother.

*See, I got food in here, after all.

Send Ingrid Home And Give Mom Her Own Show

Simply Delicioso with Ingrid Hoffman

Mommy & Me
Sancocho with Aji
Plantain Chips Patacones
Arroz con Leche

To get the recipes:
Click here


Mom is here, helping Ingrid in the kitchen. Oh, no. There is no way I'm going to say anything mean about Ingrid, when her mother's standing right there, for cryin' out loud. That was a good strategy. Ingrid still insists on kicking her leg at us in the opening sequence, though.

Ingrid soaks the rice in water for a rice pudding and add spices, while she has Mom chopping scallions for the salsa, which goes with the main course. Ingrid's not really letting Mom get a word in edgewise, but she seems like a sweet lady.
Ingrid takes cares of the tomato, onion and hot pepper chopping, explaining that the seeds are the hottest part of the Scotch bonnet. She calls it "feery". I guess she means "fiery". Why is Mom's English so much better than Ingrid's anyway? Plus, Mom is a much better chopper. She's on to the cilantro and she's making nice work of it, where Ingrid leaves it looking like grass clippings.

For this Aji salsa, Mom squeezes limes, telling us to look for limes that are smooth and shiny. To complete the Aji, Ingrid adds water. Now why is she doing that? The lime juice should be enough liquid. Mom, have a word with your diluting-loving daughter! On the show, Ingrid says to use 1/4 cup water. The recipe says 3/4 cup!!! No way do you need that much. I would leave it out entirely.

Ingrid explains that Sancocho is a cross between a soup and stew. Uh-oh, we're in dangerous territory now. I don't want to hear about any "stoups". Ingrid instructs Mom to heat up the pot, while she chops the garlic. "There's nothing better for me than cooking with my mother." Thanks for reminding those of us that don't have our mothers around anymore of what we're missing.
Now, I'm getting into a funk of missing my own dear mother, who was a fine cook, plus she was enthusiastic and positive about MY cooking. Sorry if it's mean of me to begrudge someone else her mother. Actually, from the looks of it, I'd much rather spend time cooking with Ingrid's Mom than Ingrid herself. 

Ingrid gets out another board just for the chicken. (NOW, she's showing off for Mom. But it is a relief that she won't be giving the poor woman salmonella.) She's using skinless chicken thighs and short ribs. She salts and peppers ONE side only - Mom, step in here - and she puts them in the big pot together with the chopped tomatoes. No browning? Apparently, she's already sautéed onions and garlic in that pot, which I must have missed.

Ingrid offers "a great chica tip" (it's not in the recipe) for peeling green plantains more easily. She soaks them in salt water for awhile, so you don't have to fight to get the skins off. 

Mom will take care of slicing them and Ingrid shows us a calabaza. (You can substitute butternut squash.) Poor Mom has to take out the seeds, but Ingrid tells us not to peel it and just to leave it in big chunks. Then you peel it when it's cooked. That's kind of odd to fish out an ingredient from a stew and peel it at the end.

The calabaza goes into the Sanchocho pot with 14(!?) cups of chicken broth and potatoes. Mom tells us to be sure to cook the short ribs very slowly.
Next we see mother and daughter setting the table. I NEVER allowed my mother to set the table if I was there. I figured she did that enough for me and now it was my turn.

Ingrid sets about finishing the rice pudding. It's already been cooking to evaporate most of the water. She beats an egg with 4 cups of whole milk and stirs that into the rice with one can of sweetened condensed milk. This seems like an awful lot of liquid. Up to 6 times the amount of liquid to rice is common, but this is over 8 cups of different liquids (including the water at the beginning) to 1 cup of rice. Mom wouldn't let her go wrong, I guess. Oh, wait, a big boo-boo has just been committed. Ingrid added the vanilla extract BEFORE she cooked the rice pudding for another 25 minutes. 

Let's review this one more time: In order for its flavor not to dissipate, vanilla extract should be added to cooked mixtures after they've been briefly cooled.
Meanwhile, Mommy is skimming the stew and preparing the corn and cilantro. She making a giant bouquet of cilantro that can be added to the stew and then easily removed at the end of cooking time. Mom also digs out the chicken and sets it aside so the short ribs can cook longer. I hope she counted the pieces of chicken she started with. There might be a rogue one hiding in the bottom of the pot.

Ingrid's tells us about using frozen yucca. It's almost impossible to peel, she says, so she uses the peeled frozen variety.

For a side dish, Ingrid and Mom are frying green plantains. This is getting a bit confusing. They've put green AND ripe ones in the stew, but she's frying just the green ones for her Patacones. 

The ripe ones have a black skin and Ingrid says the taste is somewhere between a sweet potato and a banana. Good description. Her mother obviously brings out the best in her.

Okay, so the green plantains get peeled (after soaking in salt water) and cut into 2 inch pieces. Ingrid fries them in one cup of vegetable oil, heated over medium high heat. She leaves them for one minute, just until lightly browned and turns them over until barely golden and drains them on paper towels. "This is something that requires babysitting." 

Mom tastes the soup and is pleased. She and Ingrid look at family albums. That's what I always like to do, too, when I'm in the middle of a big greasy frying situation.
 
Mom fishes out the cilantro and bay leaves from the stew, while Ingrid takes the rice pudding off the heat and add the raisins. Why not add them DURING the cooking and let them plump up? Or why not soak them in some rum, baby, and then add them. Oh, that's not nice, she's not letting Mom taste any. Brat! I JUST NOTICED SOMETHING! She hasn't said BABY once. Yay for Mom! Stick around... please.

Now, this next part is actually interesting. Ingrid flattens the once-fried plantains with a plantain press.








Mom puts hers in a plastic baggie and uses a big pot to flatten it. 






Okay, finally we see something really Latin and totally cool. The Leftover Queen suggested this way of cooking plantains a while back, after seeing Michael Chiarello do it. 

The flattened plantains get refried in the same oil for 4 to 6 minutes. They are looking good.

Mom and Ingrid get all the food together. They serve the aji salsa with slices of limes. They take the "drier" ingredients out of the stew and put them in piles. To be honest, it looks hearty, but not beautiful.



The brothy stuff goes into a big earthenware bowl. Mom takes out the plantains and immediately salts them. Ingrid chops some last minute cilantro. (Mom did it better.) Everything gets taken to the table, which appears to be covered with...garbage bags. Ok, not an attractive option. (Aren't garbage bags totally not food-safe?) Plus it's never explained WHY they're using garbage bags. It's not a clambake, after all.

They eat. Mom likes it. Ingrid serves the rice pudding and, for once, she has attractively garnished it with cinnamon sugar and cinnamon stick. 




Well. At last, a decent show. The recipes seemed authentic. We got a little plantain lesson. We saw a nifty plantain press. AND where Ingrid is annoying, her mother is adorable.

Mom, could you maybe take Ingrid aside and tell her to cool it with the jello shots and "baby, baby"? Better yet, move in and take over. I suspect you're much too nice a person to do that, but I'm not. In this case, could it be that the apple DOES fall far from the tree? 

Sorry, Ingrid's Mom, I'll try to be nice. If YOU promise that you'll show up again on Ingrid's next (and every) show, I promise to TRY to be nice.

Hot Off The Presses: Rachael Ray On David Letterman

Ok, I'm really trying to be nice. The best part of Rachael's appearance was that there was no cooking involved. And she looked fine...nice dress.

One thing that was weird, though, was that she sat straight up on the edge of her chair, like she had a rod down her back. Her conversation was relaxed, but she looked uncomfortable.

One of the problems could have been that I'm not sure David Letterman knew who she was. Plus, he kept asking her about sweetbreads. To what end, I'm not sure, but it wasn't terribly riveting. AND it didn't seem that she had anything big to talk about it. I know her new season is starting on Monday, but that was mentioned as an afterthought.

Oh wait, there was one interesting thing. Rachael Ray admirers will love this, others will grimace. She spent nearly the entire summer taping MANY new 30 Minute Meals AND her tasty travel show or whatever it is. She took a day and a half off at the beginning of the summer and another day some other time and THAT WAS IT...her only breaks. Dave asked her why she would want to work that hard, that she'll end up looking like him. And she said because when people ask her, she can't say no.

It wasn't as bad as Paula on Larry, but Dave certainly didn't get to the root of what her fans love about her. As for the rest of us, her anti-fans, it was so lukewarm an appearance, that there wasn't even much to rail against.

Paula Laughs, Licks and Nibbles Her Way Through An Appearance On Ellen

I caught Paula on Ellen today. Paula came out in shimmery pants with her big laugh AND a country ham as a gift for Ellen.

The cooking part was great, but the interview was a bit strange. Ellen SAID she was really interested in what Paula had to say about her agoraphobia. Paula talked about how her symptoms started when she lost her father when she was 19 and he was 40. It was as if someone had "snatched the rug out" from under her.

Then right in the middle of a sentence, practically, Ellen says "Well, we have to get to the cooking thing," and abruptly goes to a break. To tell the truth, Paula didn't seem to mind, but I did. Luckily, Paula went right with the flow.

They came back for the cooking segment. Paula was making Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding . She cuts up the doughnuts by taking bites out of them. Ellen gets into the act. It was too funny, if unbelievably unsanitary.

And THEN Ellen is pouring in the condensed milk, holding the bowl about 3 feet high and Paula sticks her TONGUE under the stream and catches some...Amazing the acrobatics she can do when food is involved.

Paula also points out to the audience, "Not one grain of sugar did I add, making it a SUGAR-FREE bread pudding recipe." Ellen pours it into the prepared pan like a 4 year old would, spilling half of it out. Paula just tucks and squooshes it back into the pan. Luckily, they had a freshly baked one, which they both burn their mouths on. Funny stuff. Kind of a revolting recipe, but, boy, I bet it's good.

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